For everything I did wrong, I did many things right

Hi Suzy,

Yes we do have to step up lol, but the stepping up becomes easier the longer we abstain and maintain, just keep one step ahead at all times, and understand the negative feelings of silly urges, and of course never underestimate the power of positive thinking

( my favourite word lol) very proud of you Suzy 311 days, just keep one step ahead and keep starving it. It doesn't win that way, we do.

How positive is that, very positive.

Suzanne xxx

Day 317

No urges lately. Life is simpler without the highs and lows of gambling. Off to town this morning with my youngest. No mad shopping spree. Just browsing and buying a few things. No money wasted on pointless slots these days. It's easier for me not to gamble at all than to try to control it. Take care all, Suzy

Great going Suzy,

Yes it is sooo much easier to just not gamble at all, rather than try to control it, we have been there and read that book lol.

Have a great day browsing round the shops

Suzanne xxx

Hi Suzy,

Great to see you are still in recovery. Life is certainly much simpler without those self inflicted highs and lows.

Wishing you only the best.

Your friend John.

Day 339.

Last few days have been a struggle. I keep thinking about returning to online bingo but without the slots. I have even looked up the offers for new bingo sites. It has been 11 months since I last gambled and maybe 15 months since I self excluded from the last bingo site so I find it hard to understand how I can be feeling like this. Life is so much better without gambling yet it is still trying to drag me back in. I have read so much about gambling addiction and understand how it works. Its like I don't want to reach the year mark. Not gambling for the rest of my life is too difficult to comprehend. Too depressing maybe. But I can cope today without gambling. And I can do the same thing tomorrow. And all the other tomorrow's. Yes I think it's the one year anniversary looming that is putting pressure on me. I understand now why people don't like counting days. Today is all I have to focus on. Today I will not gamble.

Take care,

Suzy

Hi Suzy, I am not as far into recovery as you but I have been plagued with attempts to get me to try anything & everything but my original poison! This is, it appears, normal! Thank goodness for everything I have read! Don't listen to the addiction scaring you about the future...We're all going to die @ some point but we don't worry about that every time we wake up! Gambling bought us all such sorrow & people that make it back here after a relapse are always grateful to find their way back!

You are doing great, you are stronger than your next urge, you know that, you have 11 months worth of fighting urges to prove it!

Keep @ it Suzy - ODAAT

Hi Suzy,

Massive well done on your amazing and inspiring journey to better future! I am so pleased to read that you keep kicking those nasty thoughts into oblivion and keeping up the fight. You are right, pressure might b playing a part here, sometimes we think we are "cured" and don't need to be so strict on ourselves...but we all know how it works, one little flutter and tables are turning back facing the hell...it is simply not worth it. Not sure if this will help, but in my own experience i find slips a lot more painful to get over with. We seem to give our all to recovery and just maybe setbacks are too dissapointing and tough to bear...
Keep up the good work, you already know what recovery offers, one wrong decision can cost you more than you have gained all year...why to risk it?

Look after yourself and keep posting if it helps. Recovery is something amazing, we are all in control of making it work !

Stay safe, keep winning

Sandra x

Hi
Suzy

For me personally i found years 2 & 3 the most difficult. Bank balance was healthier, debts were going down, no impending doom of my wife finding my secret out. Surely everything should have been rosy? All i had done was remove my symptom but never resolved the problems that had taken me to gambling in the first place. Happiness & a life without addiction whispering into your ear constantly can only be gained through dealing & accepting those things that did & still do cause you pain.

If you enjoy reading about addiction check out In the Realms of the Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate an absolute genius on the subject of addiction.

Dan x

Hi all,

Thanks to ODAAT, Sandra, Half-life and Dan for your postings today. They really did help me see things a bit more clearly. This weekend I certainly didn't "embrace recovery" but just got through it hour by hour to be honest. But I didn't gamble. I just seem to be reminiscing about the past when I enjoyed online bingo. There were no slots on the site at the time and they were certainly not at the top of the bingo screen. Those days are gone. Its Sunday night and a busy week ahead. Take care all, Suzy

Day 340

Feeling much better today. The strong urges of the weekend have passed. Going to book a weekend away as a treat. So glad I resisted the temptation to go back to bingo. I feel a bit ashamed of even looking up bingo sites now. Back on the right track again. Thanks to all who post on here. It definetely makes the difference when you are feeling weak. It's great to be part of a group who understand.

Dan.... Thanks for recommending the book. Just ordered it online a minute ago. Looking forward to reading it! I enjoy your posts and come back to them again and again.

Take care, Suzy

Suzy,

Hats off to you girl, because you did not give in, you are nearly at that one year now, ( I know we we never thought we get would get there) but I did and so can you, you have come too far now, yes the urges can get stronger, but we are stronger now, and this is when we step up more, change something else, remember how it deep fried your brain lol, now it's sneakily trying to get back in. And it will use any method going, it will try every single angle,

You stayed strong Suzy through this vulnerable time, one step ahead all the way, one day at a time, and accept it along side with you, but always keep one step ahead.

You have done fantastic, keep going, walking along side with you as always.

Suzanne xxx

Suzy,

Hats off to you girl, because you did not give in, you are nearly at that one year now, ( I know we we never thought we get would get there) but I did and so can you, you have come too far now, yes the urges can get stronger, but we are stronger now, and this is when we step up more, change something else, remember how it deep fried your brain lol, now it's sneakily trying to get back in. And it will use any method going, it will try every single angle,

You stayed strong Suzy through this vulnerable time, one step ahead all the way, one day at a time, and accept it along side with you, but always keep one step ahead.

You have done fantastic, keep going, walking along side with you as always.

Suzanne xxx

Suzy,

Hats off to you girl, because you did not give in, you are nearly at that one year now, ( I know we we never thought we get would get there) but I did and so can you, you have come too far now, yes the urges can get stronger, but we are stronger now, and this is when we step up more, change something else, remember how it deep fried your brain lol, now it's sneakily trying to get back in. And it will use any method going, it will try every single angle,

You stayed strong Suzy through this vulnerable time, one step ahead all the way, one day at a time, and accept it along side with you, but always keep one step ahead.

You have done fantastic, keep going, walking along side with you as always.

Suzanne xxx

Sorry Hun, Internet is not good where I am, and it's not duplicated it's trebled it ohh HDs indeed, stay strong and keep going.

Xxx

Hi Suzy the weekend treat sounds like a fab idea. I am off abroad in Oct with a friend. She is coming to see me in a few weeks time an I am making sure I pay her in full for the holiday. I do worry sometimes if I will always be able to keep from gambling but then I worry about so many other things that may or may not happen I just add it to the list! All we can focus on is here an now. And you are doing brilliant. Enjoy your treat. Take care Mary x