Future began 14/11/2014

Thanks ODAAT for reading and for your reply.

I do feel proud of myself for the effort so far and I am determined not to go near a betting shop again in my life and hopefully have a fantastic bet free future with my family.

There have been urges so far in particular the weekends are tough and I've tried to even tell my girlfriend when I have an urge but then I think she doubts me but find it helps to talk. I think a recovery diary on here is the way to go.

I feel a terrible guilt at the moment with debts of probably around 5000 mounting with every missed payment and Christmas coming up and the kids and family are really gonna miss out makes me feel terrible but I'm determined to beat this so it doesn't happen again and future years we have the holidays and stuff normal families do.

Im self excluded from all online betting sites as when I did one I searched for another a couple of days later. Think I've exhausted that avenue and must of used every single site over the past year.

Thanks ODAAT for reading and for your reply.

I do feel proud of myself for the effort so far and I am determined not to go near a betting shop again in my life and hopefully have a fantastic bet free future with my family.

There have been urges so far in particular the weekends are tough and I've tried to even tell my girlfriend when I have an urge but then I think she doubts me but find it helps to talk. I think a recovery diary on here is the way to go.

I feel a terrible guilt at the moment with debts of probably around 5000 mounting with every missed payment and Christmas coming up and the kids and family are really gonna miss out makes me feel terrible but I'm determined to beat this so it doesn't happen again and future years we have the holidays and stuff normal families do.

Im self excluded from all online betting sites as when I did one I searched for another a couple of days later. Think I've exhausted that avenue and must of used every single site over the past year.

Copied my first couple of post from the intros section to give a little background and now starting a diary for myself to help aid me in this recovery and think this is definitely the way forward from the experiences I have read in here over the last few weeks.

this site has inspired my recovery so far and intend to use it to keep away from gambling for the rest of my life and give me and my family the future we deserve.

Day 19

Another day without a bet coming up. No intention to gamble today.

Having gambled pretty much every day for the last few years I'm actually suprised how much I enjoy sporting events without my hard earned money on the line.

in the past if I knew I was going to watch an event I would always have something on it but starting to really enjoy it in a relaxed state instead of agonising over the whole match and missing most of it while checking other results and such like.

I feel the real tests for me will come after Christmas as I know I can't ruin it anymore than I already have.

Hi Taxi-man,

Well done on stopping gambling and starting a recovery diary.

19 days gamble-free is a great start. Just try to keep taking "one day at a time" and slowly things will improve.

You will draw lots of positive energy from this site and try and post your thoughts and feelings as much as you feel you can, as it's all part of the recovery process.

I've been trying to stop for the best part of 6 years, and am only now hopefully getting a real firm grip on my recovery. Recovery is bespoke and you will find what suits you best. I hope you can get through each day and become a stronger, better person without gambling in your life.

Keep strong

Ade

Thanks Ade for the comments, support and advice.

Yea I have only discovered this site a few weeks ago and a real inspiration reading thru these diary pages especially and I do intend to post on this one every day during my recovery process also helps keep track of how many days I've been clean.

Had quite a busy day today with it getting closer to Christmas I've not had as much time to think as usual. Can be a lonely job at times just sat around reading the paper while your waiting for the next job. Managed to keep away from the racing pages which was a bit of a habit every morning.

Driving past a lot of bookmakers including the one next to the taxi office every day also causes a temptation but not had any urges at all to frequent there today.

Pool match tonight for the team I play for so that's something to look forward to this evening.

Good afternoon diary

Day 20.

Busy morning at work today only doing half a day today picking kids up from school and visiting my grandma as its her birthday today after that taking the kids to see a well known fizzy drinks wagon off the TV adverts as its in town for the day so busy day all round and gambling couldn't be further from my mind today.

Great work Taxi man,

Out of interest, how did pool night go? I've been trying to quit gambling for years and found pool night a real struggle.

Football cards, people betting on the games, fruities, side bets etc!

Don't play any more so it's not an issue for me but I used to find tempation everywhere!

Hi tears of clown thanks for your post.

Well we lost the match 6-4 was close and a real good nite I love playing the game n am captain of the team so my main focus is what's goin on in the match and I'm not a big drinker at all so my minds usually pretty clear.

3 of my team mates are quite heavily into the fruities in the pub but I don't have any interest in them anymore don't even watch them on it, you usually kno wen they win like last nite but they put a lot more in over time.

My problems started with fruit machines as a young lad and it's quite encouraging I don't show any interest in them now and am hoping I will feel the same about sport betting in the future.

There's only 1 pub I know of that does a football card and yea people betting on the games could be problem going forward as its quite common as the betting shop is in very close proximity to the pub.

Sounds like you'll be fine!

When I first went to GA they advised if I almost felt like I had to play on the football card, think of it as a donation to the team. If you win put it all in the kitty, everyone thinks you're a legend, you've not really gambled. Winner!

They do raffles at work I feel pressured to be involved in but they are always for charity so I don't even check if I've won most of the time. Think the GA philosophy is say no to everything but in real life unless you want people at work asking 100 questions it's difficult.

I used to be captain too, didn't stop me on the fruities, I was probably the worst captain of all time although we won the league a couple of times 🙂

Day 21

Thanks tears of a clown some good advice am grateful of the support.

No league titles to speak of I'm afraid have a couple of promotions and 1 Sunday cup title to my name but there's life in me yet.

Kids enjoyed seeing the truck although I didn't expect it to be such a commercial event plenty of rides and characters they could of had pictures with etc unfortunately we don't have the money for that so the guilt of them missing out again stuck with me today and no intention to gamble today.

Night shift tonight starts here Christmas party season starting hoping for a busy weekend.

Not particularly looking forward to tmoz as Saturday definitely the hardest day for me without doubt although my team out the fa cup so no game tmoz and betting was very much a pre match ritual.

Day 22

Well Saturday is here and this is really tough loads of great sport on today love football and the fa cup in particular so dissapointed my team was knocked out in first round and no game today so going to make an early start to take my mind off it.

Good luck to all the non league sides still in the cup.

Hope everyone has a great bet free day

Day 23

Survived another Saturday and on to day 23. Well deserved day off today got to fit in a shopping trip then back home to chill out with my family and watch some TV appears most of the non league sides are playing today don't look ahead to fixtures anymore as it just adds temptation.

Day 24

Had a good weekend and still no gambling no thort of gambling today at all.

Got the Christmas decs out and put em up yesterday so feeling more in the festive spirit.

Just been informed by my sons football coach his u10's team won there league with 10 wins and 2 draws unfortunately it is classed as non competitive at that age group so no trophy which is a shame for the lads. Do have some competive cup comps after Christmas so hopefully silverware later in the year.