Gambling- the sure way of getting nothing from something! 11th May 2014

Robby

Fella sorry to read you have found yourself again un the cycle of destruction.

Only a week ago you had a profound affect on my recovery, nailed it with.

Gambling is a waste of time.

Those words rang through, hit me between the eyes like an epiphany.

Those odds mean nothing fella do they??

If that punt came in today would you have walked??

Was 1200 bunts robbies end game??

For me fella it is simple.

The day we stop we win, the next day the choice to stay gamble free is the same for us all.

Whether day 1 or 100. It is your choice.

Have you considered GA, for me a great help, a bunch of like minded folk in the 3d world, all with a common goal to arrest the destruction.

Not for everyone, a great deal of folk turn up twice appear to think their cured or forge an opinion it is not worth two hours a week.

For me two hours versus 24/7 is a small price to pay for the wealth of free knowledge on offer.

I hope you find a way that works for you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks for the reply dunc,it means more than you can imagine.

I've tried ga years ago,for about 6 months,found it quite clicky,plus the fact it was an hour away,it wouldn't be practical for me now as my partner works evenings and we have 2 littlens.

I've gota make sure its not possible for me to gamble essential monies.

My partner is gona get control back of my wages,barriers are being put up.

But more importantly I've gota work on me. These past few days I've had no interest in what anyone has gota say or do,nothing else matters.

I sometimes think I don't have a problem,its just the addiction playing tricks on my brain. My whole life has been a catalouge of disasters revolving around gambling.

Gambling is a complete waste of time,I was right,it is a cycle of self destruction to the cg.

Apparently less than 1 percent of gamblers have a problem,my town must be rare,its more like 50 percent or is it just b*****ks from the government etc,I wonder??

For a fleeting moment after my 2nd horse of my treble won,I did think 'if this comes up,that's it'. I'm very aware that I shouldn't be gambling,I don't know what makes me think winning money would be any different this time,its always been the catalyst for a big loss a little way down the line.

I've gota realise losing yet again was the best thing that could of happened if I quit from this day forward.

Sorry to read about your recent gambling Robby, the scenarios are all too familiar, been through them so many times myself.

I think you are one of the few on here whose gambling problems are as deep rooted as my own have been for so many years.

I went through the thought process so many times that I need to stop then I want to stop but it took years to get to the point of thinking 'i can live without it'. That is key. No matter how much you want to stop it is so hard as gambling is so much a part of who you are. You think and act and breath like a gambler all the time.

I really hope you can get through this. If you can manage to go 'cold turkey' then great, but maybe some kind of breakdown of gambling types or days or amounts is a more achievable target?

That worked for me - cut out the gambling types I could easily live without one by one, reduce my stakes, only gamble on certain days, certain times of day. That's how I did it, that's how I got to where I am today.

I know you are so determined. Think about all the options and do what is best for you.

You have my continued support regardless.

Day 1 again,I think for the 4th time in this diary,things have got to change.

Laid in bed last nite,blankeed out the what if thoughts,no point depressing myself,what's done is done,I gota find a cure.

I need structure,I'm gona sort my finances,move the burden of paying the bills to my partner,tho I will still pay them,I will get a monthly allowance,its what I've wanted for a long time but there has always been obstacles in the way.

Get my head straight,stop chasing pipe dreams,live normally- not on the edge where every bet is a matter of life or death,I'm gettin too old for that s**t,I need stability and so do my young family.

Will nit gamble today,have no means for starters,don't want too.

Day 1 completed- probably been the hardest day I've encounted- that I can remember.

Started the day ok,but I didn't hold much hope of abstaining,the pull of trying to win back yesterday,the wkend and januarys losses- need I go on?

This just wasn't gona happen,so I resigned myself to making a financial plan to get myself back on track.

This completley depressed me,so I thought- why can't I just have a few £1 bets on,as long as I'm in action and don't do damage? I look up the tipsters tips I've been following,all the pain and desperation of yesterday has disappeared,hope has been replaced in its place.

He has another 3 star bet,he can't surley have 3 losers on the trot? The thought of having a few small bets goes out the window,I could get my losses back of his last 2 bets.

Without thinking I get a quick loan,search the net for a bookie,found 3 small bookies,first 2 I try wouldn't open an account,the last 1 was irish and wouldn't take a debit card,so by default I couldn't gamble,well I could travel out of town.

I then come to my senses,have a read on here,pay back the loan,well it cost my a fiver,- and started feeling like I've had a lucky escape,another chance,it felt like I've done the right thing.

People who read this may be frustrated at me,I want nothing more than to quit gambling,this diary is for me,I want to record all my thoughts,temptations,be as honest as I possibly can.

I've gained a tiny bit of strength today,by default,I've got through the day gamble free.

My mentality is all wrong at the moment,but maybe tomorrow I will be that little bit wiser and stronger.

Robby

fella someone is shining down on you today my friend

Today you actually won by not placing that punt.

it reads like a sketch from the caddyshack!!

fella whatever the way you have not had a punt today, for it well done.

tomorrow is another round in the fight.

Make a choice that work for you.

keep being honest

Oh I love the title.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Robby

You want to stop gambling but the urge to bet is too strong. That meant you wanted to bet today. Circumstances outwith your control meant it didn't happen.

I remember a similar episode for me in the early days of my diary. I was driving home. At one bookmakers on the way there were no parking spaces. There was then a diversion in traffic which meant I didn't drive past the second bookies. I was relieved to get home safe. That day I avoided losing money but the urge was strong. By the time I got home the urge had gone.

You need to somehow control the urges. Go to a place which makes you calm and allows you to think straight. For me that is home. The difficulty was I couldn't go home at lunchtime and it was difficult to drive straight home at night. I started walking in a different direction at lunchtimes. Went to the library. Phoned gamcare. Took different route home at night. Tried lots of strategies. It took time to re-train my brain to avoid urges. At work when stressed and I got urges I went to the toilet for a while. I went out for a walk when I shouldn't have left the building. I went and sat in a hotel lounge. I went to the golf course and watched people playing. I sent myself messages on my phone and read diaries on here.

Do anything you can to deal with the urges. Come on mate you want this, you can do it.

Cheers captain, beating those urges gives me such a huge sense of relief/achievement.

I've just had a huge urge,start of the racing day,bored at work,my mind has been wandering.

I've taken a break,thanks for the advice.

Pay day today,I get paid weekly,bill and mortgage day 2mo and monday,it will be a big relief to get through till monday,another month of bills paid.

Hopefully next month my partner will have control,she will do I will make sure.

Slowly but surely I'm getting better.

Hi robbie thanks for your post, things very raw at the moment but need to give this a serious go this time.

Hope you are doing ok, keep focused, I recall in 2011 we actually gave this a good go, I did over 11 months that time, if I could do that again I could put a big dent in the debts.

Keep strong and positive,

Pat

Try try and try again they say pat,the fact you stay close to this site and know you have a problem gives you more than half a chance of abstaining,a day at a time.

Day 3 - I suppose,I've taken a completley new approach,its got me through the last 2 days,it aint gona please some people,but its gona work for me. I've been on this road since june 2000,14 years since I admitted I had a problem and went to ga,I've had long spells of abstaining but always fell back into old habits- prob why I have no faith in giving up long term.

The barriers are put up,the important bills are out of my control,I have a monthly spend allowance.

No gambling today,mortgage paid,happy family day.

robby

fella thanks for the post, a great way to start a day, a smile raised, for that thankyou.

Stabilizers, I had a vision of you taking them off your nippers and fashioning them onto your feet!!!

Gambilizers!!!!!

See you on the dragons den!!!lol

Seriously I hope you enjoy your day my friend, those things in life will not be found in a bookies, no tipster could forecast you it either.

As you said mortgage paid.

Enjoy it, because it is priceless, moments like teaching your kids to ride a bike.

Like recovery it is free too

Ok there might be a bump or two in both cases but they share a goal

An end goal.

Enjoy being a winner again

Duncs stepping forward never back

Day 6- gamble free,my new outlook is serving me well.

I've not quite forgave myself for the monies lost,but I'm off the merry go round for now,able to focus on work/family and life.

I'm about to read allen carrs book 'the easy way to give up gambling' I shall let u know if it has any impact.

I dunno why it is so hard to let go of the 1 thing that has caused pain and misery,maybe that's why I've failed in the past,I can't quite let go

Finances hopefully completley sorted out today,will be a huge weight of my shoulders.

A

Havent read that book Robby, be interested to know what its like. Many books have helped my recovery enormously.

Day 8 of my new approach all is well.

Book is interesting captain,I'm half way through,I aint good at explaining it cos its complex - it basically concentrates on the fact your not giving up anything but your getting rid of a bad habit- its obviously a bit deeper than that,but it does make a lot of sense- believe me!

A post by jimmy c who at the tender age of 21 knows every thing, rattled me a bit. The fact that gambling is not physical. Its just a question of calling it a day and that's that!

I gave up smoking first time,was an alcoholic at stages of my life- can take it or leave it now- but gambling has a different lure to me.

I aint gona get into any arguments,but if he's cured and doesn't understand what this site is all about,why come on it?

Anyway,just been for a run,feel good.the sun has got his hat on.

Ordered the book Robby should get it next week.