Gambling- the sure way of getting nothing from something! 11th May 2014

What a cracking wkd,doesn't the sunshine make everything better!

Walk along the sea front with the kids,an ice cream,playing in the garden and a trip to the swimming pool before a nice roast.

I've defo turned a corner,I was piling so much pressure on myself,paid of a big debt too early,left myself short which lead me too gamble.

I know when in vunerable to gamble,finances out of my control,just how I want it.

Its all a learning curve,I know I can go weeks or months without gambling,just got to beware of when I'm vunerable.

My recent relapses haven't been the life or death experiences I've had years gone by,but they had the same feelings,there is a line I wiould never cross,- thank god.

Onwards and upwards

Robby

fella glad to read the sun not only shines on the outside world my friend but also inside your mind.

Great to read, great for the resolve.

Keep making the right choice.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks for the post dunc,I really do appreciate it,tho don't deserve any support.

Its taken a lot of effort to post again,another failure,I feel embarrassed,ashamed and at this moment truly believe I want the path of self destruction.

I have little tastes of what life should be like,but I just cannot stop acting upon small urges. Tuesday I thought f*** it why can't I have a little flutter at cheltenham,I enjoy horse racing- just don't go mad,barriers are up,I've no access to the mortgage account.

The worst thing happenend I won,and won again on the wed,I was aware the stakes were rising,there's no way back then.

I had a punt on the footy wed nite,turned out I needed man city to draw for 1300,we all know what happened there! I woke up in dissarray on thurs morn,cursing my bad luck.but I was still up.

Lost my winnings on thurs,chased on fri,ended up borrowing getting myself in more debt. Walking on home from work,decided that was that.its just gota stop.

Had a great day yesterday with the kids until around 2.30,stuck the tv on,an urge to have a quick acca on the footy to regain my weeks losses, again acted upon an urge,another account opened with what must be the last independent bookie im not excluded from,acca lost,acca chased agin,another near miss,more losses,more debt.

I'm weak,I'm sitting here now playing with my two little girls,I can swear that I will never gamble again,but in half hour my whole train of thought can change.

Thinking of ways to block,stop myself,getting rid of the debit card? But I've found ways round that,I'm at a loss of what to do. At least the priority bills are out of my hands,but still have my own account,overdraft etc.

My partner knows of my problem,she doesn't have much sympathy,mainly because she doesn't understand,I don't blame her.

Even now my mind drifts of to perhaps having a small flutter on the footy! This is impossible at times,but I'm not giving up on giving up,day 1 today,I gota do this.

Apologies to those who have supported me in the past.

Day 2- thankfully got through yesterday ok,self excluded from yet another bookie,i honestly dont know any more!

In determined mood,ready for the week ahead,drastic action,blocks,change of attitude,not gona tempt myself anymore.Life starts today.

Robby

Reading your diary is similar to how my thought process was maybe 2 years ago. I knew I needed to stop, I wanted to stop, but I just couldnt. At that point I had eradicated a number of problem areas of gambling but I just couldnt let go of random permanently.

I'd like to say there was a light bulb moment but there wasnt it was just a progressive thing trying different strategies and changing my routines and trying to spend my time in different ways.

When I say I wanted to stop it was only to improve my finances, not because I wasnt enjoying the action, I still crave that a lot. But I have crucially found ways to live without it. They are not exciting, much of the time I spend and things I do are mundane, but I have developed a routine that works.

It took a lot of time. I think it may be some time before you are able to stop completely. Even when all the blocks are in place you will find a way if you want to. I hope I am wrong, I really do.

You have my continued support.

Thanks for the support captain,you always give me food for thought.

I believe I've had a lightbulb moment today,I finished reading that allen carr book,I took a lot from it.

It made a lot of sense,whilst giving up in the past I've always had the feeling of waiting for something,waiting for the urges to lessen,for things to get easier,counting the days,but they never did because as he says 'you have the feeling of being deprived,- the one thing that will make you feel better is the one thing that made you feel s**t in the first place- a vicious circle.

Having the mentality that your not missing anything,your giving up the one thing that makes you miserable makes sense,remembering that you hate gambling like I hate brussell sprouts,simple as.

Reading that book has made me realise I hate gambling,I do not enjoy it and do not need it.

No more counting days.

I'm not looking at horse odds anymore,footy odds,there nothing to me so what's the point.

I've got my finances where although I'm worse off than a few weeks ago,- I got a manageable allowance,enough to get by,I don't have to borrow more,chase around,I can survive.

I probably sound over confident,but what have I got to wait for,I'm a non- gambler,s**t days will stay lay ahead but I'm positive I will not gamble.

Thumbs up to that book captain,defo has had a profound effect on me.

keep going robby

hope you have finished gambling for sure

keep the positive approach going seems to be helping you

Robby - mix up at the library - havent got the book yet, hopefully this week!

Defo worth a read,i re read again yesterday,you could say im brain washing my brain,or trying to re train my brain.

Its working,ive had two great nights sleep,ive not even thought about gambling,last week losses etc- long may it continue.

Early days I know,but i cannot ever remember feeling this positive about giving up,always thought it was a chore.

Im getting into the habit of avoiding looking at anything related to gambling,a mistake ive made in the past.

Im very fortunate to have two young children to occupy my time,but the hurdle of replacing the time used for gambling is going to be addressed,ive got loads i want to do.life started on sunday and im feeling good.

Hi, saw your post on the challenge thread and thought I'd stop by.

So glad you have started to find techniques and ways of thinking that work for you. You are right that we need to reprogram our brains or at least work out a way to get the voices in our heads to shut up.

Best wished for your recovery.

Thanks for the support no crisis,much appreciated.

Another gamble free day ahead,another normal day.

My new outlook is serving me well.

Also helping my new approach is avoiding s ky s ports news,oddschecker,newspapers all things that could re- kindle temptation.

These early days have been so hard in the past,but ive found this week relatively easy despite money worries,i shall get through especially now im a non gambler.

I believe in myself this time,im not being cocky,ive realised i hate gambling,dont miss it and will not go down that road again.

Im staying close to this site,avoiding temptations,have barriers up to protect myself- a recipe for success.

Time filling voids- more time with family,friends,kids/a long list of diy jobs around the house,ive got thousands of things to sell on *******,get fit,love to play the guitar ive got - all things i should of been doing rather than throwing money down the drain.

Good to read that your head is in a better place Robby.

Got the book, will start reading it tonight, let you know how I get on.

A week has passed,gamble free and it went pretty easily.

No urges what so ever during the week,I owe a lot to that book for my new mind set,I am not missing or giving up any thing that gives me pleasure.

I do feel like I've been brain washed,early days.

My only negative thoughts came this arvo whilst watching the cricket,It P***** me off that england lost,I'm not sure if its cos I'm english or I would of backed new zealand?

Any way what good would any win of any sort do me? Would I hang on to it? Would I think 'ok that's an extra 300 I can put in the bank' - cos I wouldn't it would just spiral out of control.

Things to take forward into next week,sat arvo after finishing work have to be more productive.

A good week,happy with major progress

Finished reading the book today Robby. Lot of good advice and points in it. I didn't learn anything new but I guess that's because i've spent 6 years in recovery already reading books, self analysis, on here, counselling etc so I've already uncovered all the stuff.

I don't think many could just stop after reading the book if that's their first real attempt to stop but then it's not designed for that it's assuming you have tried to stop already. I agree with what he says that it's not about willpower and if you try and use willpower only it can work against you. The book claims not to be brainwashing but it does centre on re-training your brain and thoughts and I'd agree that's what you have to do based on my experience. But over a long time not just with immediate effect one day.

I completely disagree with the chapter which claims all gamblers are the same. I think it's just trying to create a conplete negative image of gambling to help someone stop. I see nothing wrong with acknowledging that some gamblers gain pleasure from it with no effect on their lives.

The other part I disagree with is creation of the illusion that when free from gambling you will have lots more time, space, energy and money to pursue interests which give you real pleasure. I acknowledge that this may be true for 90pc of people but for the other 10pc they find that the gap created by quitting isn't full of fun and pursuits giving pleasure, it creates a real challenge to re-build any sort of life and pass time getting through day to day. The book creates a rosy post gambling picture which doesn't apply to all.

All in all a good read and should be helpful for anyone trying to quit but I'd suggest in conjunction with other tools and not alone and not as a magic immediate formula. Bit of danger someone reads it, gets the message and sees the benefit but then feels a failure if they fail to stop and stay stopped immediately. The book doesn't provide too much of a fallback or understanding for someone who falls off the wagon other than re-read the book.

One more thing Robby - Allen Carr has done his research but he doesn't have first hand experience of gambling addiction - his method is based on his smoking addiction experience. Think I got more from Overcoming Gambling by Philip Mawer as he is an ex gambler. Also from autobiographies of sports stars who have been gambling addicts like Paul Merson and John Hartson.