Gary's diary of (continued) recovery

well done, congrats on your recovery... your life must be 100% better than it was two years ago.

I always say if i didnt gamble i would be rich ...I work harder than anyone i know... starting to see the fruits of abstinace now. a lesson i wish i learned years ago.

Thanks....I learnt that the hardway. Years blowing a significant salary within hours/days then begging money of anyone willing to give me money. Stopping gambling provides a massive payrise

Strong GA meeting last night...great to catch up with like-minded friends and do some explorations and character strengths and weaknesses from the Who Am I book. Another big injection of medicine tonpower through the weekend and beyond.

Not been updating this but probably a good idea to become a little more active.

Have been keeping a keen eye on the recent threads and updates about whether gambling is an illness or a choice.

I'm unashamadely in the illness camp as GA has taught me. It's so difficult to explain (although @dayatatime ) does it exceptionally well. I started off gambling normally and in "control" but at some point the darkness came and I had pathological need to gamble - it did not feel like a choice. Nothing would stop me and I jeoparised everything that I held dear as a result.

My mum died of cancer 6 weeks before I stopped and it shames me to admit to lying and stealing from her while she dying in a hospice. That was an act of an ill man who needed help.

Compulsive gambling cannot be compared to cancer but it is an illness nonetheless and the recovery part required diligence, hard work and open-mindedness.

The other point I want to raise is around boundaries and barries. Yes, the time-money-location triange will help with abstinence - especially in the early days - but nothing would stop me if I wanted to place a bet. All three are easily accessible should the addiction taken hold.

Back to GA tonight for our first meeting since 17th December - really looking forward to it.

Well done on your recovery...how inspiring! xx

Would be great to hear more input from you Gary. Enjoy your GA meeting tonight

Superb meeting at GA last night. 28 like-minded individuals battling a common problem.

No new members which is a little worrying but the door remains forever open for anyone who wants to give GA a go.

Huge unity as ever in the room and some awe inspiring stories and tales of recovery. It's a pleasure to be part of such a strong group.

Garyl1976 wrote:

Not been updating this but probably a good idea to become a little more active.

Have been keeping a keen eye on the recent threads and updates about whether gambling is an illness or a choice.

I'm unashamadely in the illness camp as GA has taught me. It's so difficult to explain (although @dayatatime ) does it exceptionally well. I started off gambling normally and in "control" but at some point the darkness came and I had pathological need to gamble - it did not feel like a choice. Nothing would stop me and I jeoparised everything that I held dear as a result.

My mum died of cancer 6 weeks before I stopped and it shames me to admit to lying and stealing from her while she dying in a hospice. That was an act of an ill man who needed help.

Compulsive gambling cannot be compared to cancer but it is an illness nonetheless and the recovery part required diligence, hard work and open-mindedness.

The other point I want to raise is around boundaries and barries. Yes, the time-money-location triange will help with abstinence - especially in the early days - but nothing would stop me if I wanted to place a bet. All three are easily accessible should the addiction taken hold.

Back to GA tonight for our first meeting since 17th December - really looking forward to it.

thanks Gary for your share. In my experience the addiction is progressive to the degree that it kills. Stone dead kills people. People have lost their lives and will continue to. I'm glad i'm not in their ranks right now but my recovery faces the honesty of what could happen and I love that your recovoery sounds fruitful and nourishing. You've not mentioned the steps much in your pieces? Do you have a sponsor? I accept not everyone does but then the 12 step recovery prgoram is progressive like the addiction is. The more ill you are, the more help GA shows to the person who is ready to accept it.

Well done as well for managing for that length of time over christmas without a meeting. The great news is i'm sure there were many meetings around you that you could have attented should you have needed to.

thanks for sharing. Tri

Great turn out that Gary sounds like a good set up

Hi Gary, if you're getting those kind of numbers every week maybe time to consider opening another meeting and spreading the message further? Maybe a steps meeting . The more meetings available to people the better. Unity step 5. GAs primary purpose is to take its message to those that still suffer. Dan

​

Hope you don't mind me asking the question here but seeing as you're talking about GA...none of my local groups do daytime meetings. Is there a reason for that or is it just about supply and demand and there's no call for it?

LifeBegins x

Cheers for the replies guys...in order :-

Tri: you're right. There were other meetings that I could (and probably) should have gone to. We do have a thriving What's App group for our member and have stayed in contact with other members, but neither are a substitute for a meeting. Ditto, have never been to a Steps meeting but do read them from the Orange Book and try to practice them.

Dan - there's already a meeting every night in Liverpool (and 2 some night) so there's no shortage. I understand Thursday is the highest attended and it's a pleasure to be part of such a group.

Lifebegins - this is a good point and one I've considered in the past. I think a daytime meeting would be a big boon but there is a big commitment involved. I'd struggle to commit personally to get the time off work to set one up weekly due to work pressures.

Take care everyone, and have a safe day.

Day 647

No gambling urges to talk of but still appreciate waking up without the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach after a restless sleep.

No need to move money around or resort to payday loans or borrowing from family or friends.

No dreading the postman

No more lying or deceit.

Looking forward to a relaxing Sunday with family

Sounds good to me Gary 🙂

Well done on your continued recovery.

Regards... S.A

Having lunch al desko today as it's tipping down outside so catching up on the forum and having a read of the latest GA literature (called "Let's Talk" - some interesting stuff in there for other GA members).

Feeling strong with no feelings or urges to bet. In the early days of recovery, that was all I was interested in. "Take away the urges", "Make the pain go away" "Let people trust me again". Now, almost 650 days GF..things have spun around so much. I'm incredibly content, positive and have a ton of aspirations for the future. Must continue to guard against complaceny as I don't want to slip into my old, destructive habits.