Gary's diary of (continued) recovery

Day 754.

What a week.

Had a great weekend in London for the cup semi (shame about the result). No thoughts of gambling, even the coupons passed round were rejected with a resounding "No thanks, I don't gamble".

Back on Sunday evening to the news that my dad was being admitted hospital. He's out this morning after an emergency operation and appears to be on the mend. The thing is, I accompanied my mum to lots of her cancer ops and treatments - and would always gamble off the back of it. Funny how a recovery programme can be applied to ALL situations. Would have been mums 67th birthday today - happy birthday up there x

Will hope to get to my laptop later to update the 2016 challenge numbers.

Sorry to read some of the more toxic elements recently. I can't offer anything wise except that everyone is entitled to do their recovery in whichever way they want. There's more than one way to crack a nut but I'm comfortable on the GA programme

Sorry to hear about your Dad & wish him a speedy recovery!

Happy Birthday Gary's Mum!

Keep doing what you are doing Gary, making them proud - ODAAT

Don't worry about the update Gary, you have enough on your plate, speedy recovery to your Dad,

754 days is simply awesome and soo inspiring, proud of you Gary,

Suzanne xxx

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Tough week Gary these things are sent to rest us I'm sure you mum is looking down proud of how you have turned your life around

KTF

Cheers guys....back into work now ploughing through the backlog of e-mails!

Glad that my head's in the right place to do the right things.

Thanks Gary :))

I hope your Dad is getting better by the day.

And thank you for doing the challenge thread, it has helped me to not stray away from the forum, when the life music is turned up,very high:))

Have a great gambling free evening.

Suzanne xxx

Day 760.

Working on the BH..boo. But not to worry, I've got a great job and it allows me to now do many great things rather than feed my addiction. Payrises were nothing more than extra gambling tokens when I was at it.

Dad seems to be on the mend, he was well enough to attend my brother's wedding bash on Sat night. Spent some time with him getting him ready and giving him a shave as he's now incapable that. Took me back to him teaching me to shave over 25 years ago in the same bathroom...amazing how much has happend in that time, but guess that's life.

Was great to see him enjoying himself and talking with family members. I also had a great time but had a bit too much to drink...was going slow and steady till the Jaegerbombs came out.

Into May now - a massive month for me. I turn 40 3 weeks today 🙂 Am really looking forward to it...the 30's have been a mixed bag with ups and downs. I'm now over 2 years gamble free and probably been in true recovery for 9 or 10 months...prior to that was just getting abstinent and baby steps.

In addition to a party in 3 weeks, I'm also on a stag-do in 2 weeks and going away with the wife the weekend after. These are all things I could never afford and never wanted to do when isolated by my additction. It's taken time, willingness and effort - but continually working the GA programme has changed my life indescribably for the better. I remain fully commited to it and hope it remains in my life forever.

Funny how little things can bring back some long forgotten memories.

Finishing work today early to attend my son's parents' evening.....I've used that excuse in the past to leave work early and dive in the bookies for a few hour's gambling time. And then telling the missus I'm stuck in work.

Pretty shameful remembering some of the scams and lies to feed my addiction.

Anyway, all good with me - back to GA for another dose of medicine tonight. Hopeful (but not convinced) that some of new members from the last couple of weeks will return.

Yea Gary little things do pop up, but I guess it's good in a way, it keeps us on our toes , and keeps us keeping one step ahead.But I know the gut feeling when these reminders just appear in our head.not nice my friend, (talk about a blast from our past)

Like dreams, they are in our subconscious, and if they wernt my friend, we would (my words only) understand what recovery is about.

Not told you before, but am proud to be on this rollercoaster journey with you,

OAUs

Suzanne xxx

Day 770

Thanks for those kind words Suzanne.

I'm in a great place at the moment and don't have any urges or thoughts of betting. When I look back now, all of the gambling memories are tied up with negative thinking and low moments. I struggle to recall any joy I had when the addiction brought me to knees and continued to pound away relentlessly.

I'm very fortunate to be in a good job and have largely recovered financially, I'm now able to do nice things and be an active part of my friendship circle and the wider community. Off to Portugal tomorrow on a stag do and it's been paid for and have plenty of spending money available...a far cry from the countless stag do's I've missed, or turned up late penniless with a pathetic excuse trying to cadge a few quid off mates.

So, all in all, recovery has been great for me. I'm a different person from 110 weeks ago and will continue to work it and moving in the right direction.

Another dose of medicine tonight at my GA meeting...it keeps me topped up and vigilant to the horrors out there.

Just for today, I will not gamble.

Hi Gary

Enjoy your meeting tonight Gary. Looking forward to mine as well. Reocvery in action eh 🙂

I will Tri....got to work it as well as want it.

Because it only works when you work it & it wont when you dont. One of my meetings as well tonight, enjoy!

Thanks for popping over to my diary. Much appreciated. 775 days is a huge amount. Keep up the good work.

Best wishes

Day 777 (that has a nice ring to it...111 weeks)

Quite a chunky period of abstinence and also some recovery in there too...looking back over it now, I was recovering slowly but have only been in true recovery for about 10 months - when I 100% truthful about finances with my wife and didn't keep some things back for fear of upset or argument. I've also become much more open about explaining my feelings and not keeping things locked inside......I say what I think sometimes where previously I'd stay quiet and let things get the better of me.

Anyway, loads of positives on the near horizon. Got my 40th on Saturday night (still fretting that numbers will be low) and then big day on Monday. My 30's have been truly mixed....some high spots but a lot of lows; pretty much all manifested in compulsive gambling.

I'll continue to try and improve on a daily basis, work the GA programme, help others and hopefully have fabulous 40's. Perhaps lose some weight but just enjoy good food and drink a little too much 🙂

Onwards and upwards.

Gary