Gary's diary of (continued) recovery

Day 800

Sat in an airport departure lounge awaiting a flight to take me to Delhi for work for a few days.

It's always difficult leaving family, the pup, and my comfort zone but my job helps pay for a good lifestyle.

In the past, would have been hammering the fruity at this point. Today, Im in the queue at Costa and will shortly attempt the crossword in the latest edition of Let's Talk (the GA magazine).

Plus ca change

Hi, haven't read your diary but just wanted to drop in and say you've done a fantastic job, 800 days is so inspiring! I hope you enjoyed your coffee and crossword 🙂

800 days of winning inspirational stuff.

KTF

Congratulations on day 800 mate, what an achievement. Well done!
Ben

Day 809

Back to work after a week off. A few days in India (was interested to see that GA is burgeoning there...the IPL cricket has led to a large increase in problem gambling with spot fixing and the like.

Then home for a couple of days followed by a trip to the Smoke to watch Coldplay and spend some relaxing time with family.

All good and no thoughts of gambling at all. Still working on some character defects and aware that I can be very compulsive still...need to reign it in sometimes and give myself some breathing space.

Spent a bit of time over the last few days considering the friendships I've forged these last couple of years; these people have also done some terrible things over the years but are at least trying to do something about it. They inspire me and make me laugh on a daily basis....it's a pleasure to be part of such an active group of people.

Garyl1976 wrote:

Day 809

Back to work after a week off. A few days in India (was interested to see that GA is burgeoning there...the IPL cricket has led to a large increase in problem gambling with spot fixing and the like.

Then home for a couple of days followed by a trip to the Smoke to watch Coldplay and spend some relaxing time with family.

All good and no thoughts of gambling at all. Still working on some character defects and aware that I can be very compulsive still...need to reign it in sometimes and give myself some breathing space.

Spent a bit of time over the last few days considering the friendships I've forged these last couple of years; these people have also done some terrible things over the years but are at least trying to do something about it. They inspire me and make me laugh on a daily basis....it's a pleasure to be part of such an active group of people.

Positive to see your progress Gary. Keep up the GA unity. Tri

Thanks Gary. Yes and arn't you the perceptic one 🙂

its all very sad. no one wins in wars do they?

Day 813.

Another solid GA meeting last night. 25 people staying bet free and working recovery in a variety of ways. I'm very grateful to be part of such a strong group and great to see people progressing in various guises.

Busy weekend planned - out for a birthday tomorrow and then will be my godfather to my mate's Daughter on Sunday. Important for me as I'd lied to him to "borrow" money to gamble. all repaid now but part of my shameful past.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Day 816

Another solid weekend with no thoughts of gambling. Was a joy to be a godparent for my best friend's daughter yesterday. Whilst gambling, I'd compromised the friendship by borrowing money I had no ability to repay. So glad that recovery has given me the platform to rebuild the relationship and thankful for his forgiveness and trust. Amazing what this programme of recovery has given me.

Sad to see so much negatively and disruption amongst the forum. My opinion is that people are letting the illness isolate them and are putting themselves at risk of heading down an unwelcome path. I also think the deleting of diaries and threads undoes a lot of good work and risks putting the diarist back at square one. Again, just my opinion and no disrespect meant to anyone specifically.

Not much else to report really..my life is in amazing place.

Love reading your updates Gary 🙂 I'm not part of the Fellowship but I've heard enough from Dan to know the importance of making amends so a massive 'way to go' on that front 🙂 Being a Godparent is such an honour & I hope you feel very proud of yourself for being in a position where you know you can fulfil the role to the very best of your ability - ODAAT

Thanks ODAAT...it certainly felt like a big responsibility and committment. If gambling, I'd have paid lip service to it and probably would have begrudged buying a present and card.

I know in GA we promote attraction rather than promotion, but wanted to share some of the metrics from our group for the first 6 months of this year.

We've had 56 people through the door for our meeting with an average attendance of 21.

There's a core of 27 who attend most weeks (work and other comittments pending) and every single one has remained gamble free through that period. In addition to abstinence, each is also recovering and sharing their progression on a weekly basis. There's an active what's app group and some long-term friendships have been forged.

We've admittedly had a couple of people slip away, but also had 5 new members who appear to be taking to the programme.

In my opinion, GA works if you let it and work it.

WOW! What a share, that's incredible 🙂

Day 823

All good in the hood. No bets since my last post and enjoying recovery.

Had a weekend at Cub Camp helping out. I don't go to the meetings so much as go over to see my dad on a Tuesday, but always enjoy going to the yearly camp in North Wales. My mum was heavily involved in the Group so always feels good to continue her legacy and to see kids having fun and learning new skills.

My dad's condition is sadly deteriorating, so sad to see him becoming an empty shell of the man he was. Alzheimers is a cruel, cruel illness. He's probably at the stage where he needs full time beyond the home-care and the family coming round so will begin looking for care homes for him. Not sure what effect it will have on him but it's the right thing to do.

On a bright side, enjoyed keeping up to date on sports and not giving a stuff on what the odds "would have been".

Will continue keeping things simple and straightforward, stay in the moment, and remain honest.

Well done Gary on your continued recovery. I have family too that suffer from Alzheimers and you're right it is a cruel illness indeed. It's difficult to see them go through it but we as their loved ones can just be there for them as much as possible, it's all we can do.

Your journey is an inspiring one which shows us all that it can be done. Fair play to you and keep it up!

Thanks Sam.

Day 825...seems to be busy around the forum with people coming and going. Each to their own but I always think this forum helps provide a bit of stability for me.

Open meeting next week in GA, will gladly be receiving my 2 year medallion. I never thought I could go 2 days without gambling and it's always nice to recognise milestones. Funny how I started by counting days, then weeks, then months and now I'm not particularly bothered about the running total. As long as it's 1 more than yesterday, that's the main thing.

Someone posted something earlier about the concept of medication and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Gambling was the medication of my lack of self-worth,fear or rejection, not fitting in, lack of self-image. GA now provides the medication and those personaility traits are slowing being addressed and improved.