Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Hi Blondie00

Welcome to the forum. That is a really encouraging first post and shows your determination to succeed.

You have already learnt a lot about yourself and about this illness in a short space of time and you will find that it is a great foundation stone to build upon.

It is good that you have put some blocks into place and that you are taking this one day at a time... 9 days is a great achievement so far.

Keep updating your diary and reading others' as this will give you the strength to carry on especially on days when you are not feeling so strong.

I wish you well - you can do this!

LMM

Hi Blondie, well done on starting a diary. U will get lots of support here.

Well done on the 9 days gamble free that is gr8 🙂

U can do this! Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hey Blondie,

Just to echo the other posts this really is the place to be if you want support. Everyone here is great and the plus side is none of us are any better or worse than you, we are all fighting the same battle each day.

Read plenty of diaries, take plenty of advice and i'm sure you will progress one day at a time its the way forward 🙂

Flagg

Hi Blondie,

You have turned the corner onto a wonderful journey called life without gambling. I have been gambled free for 23 days and will be going to lunch with my friends today ( a weekly thing since I retired from work) and I used to use this day for me to gamble as well. But no more, I cruise the shops, I now buy a magazine, sit and have coffee, while enjoying the moment and tranquility. I use to think spending $6 on a magazine was a waste of money.....what I joke when I put in $100's at the pokies.

These are the things that we forgot that life was about, enjoying the time and the day that we have been given. These little things do give you pleasure. Just try it Blondie, one day at a time, and eventually you will learn to forgive yourself and feel like a valuable human being again. Best of luck and hang it there.

Crystal - have seen the light 23 days

Day 10 double figures

Hi All,

Thanks for your encouraging words it really does mean a lot.

So how do i feel on day 10, i feel a bit scared today, i have been reading lots of posts flag thanks and even going in the chat room, thanks charlotte and LMM for the chats it helps.

Today im scared, scared of this illness, scared that i will fail, and scared about the future. I know its not easy turning youself inside out and facing this thing head on and that scares me, but im also encouraged by peoples stories on here, thanks crystal i want to be that person again who enjoys life and enjoys it without having to fill the gaps with gambling.

Im keeping an open mind and happy to take as much help as i can get to get through this.

Im even contemplating a G.A meeting tonight, no time like the present to face my demons, and i hope with time and help i can start to untangle this web that i have weaved around myself and get me back.

I know in there somewhere is also a lot of pain and grief about losing my dad 5 months ago but i hopefully took some positive steps yesterday by contacting a grief counseller to help me through it.. Its 5 months and feel bad that i dont seem to be moving on, but like gambling ive buried all those feelings in a box in the pit of my stomach and maybe now its time to take the lid of and see if i can make some sense of it all.

I keep saying im doing this in my dads memory he was my hero, but actually i want to do this for myself.. Ive had enough im sick of compouding how i feel by destroying myself with gambling.

Its time to be brave.!!!

Thanks all keep strong and positive in your recovery.

Blondie day 10... and moving on up

x

Hi Blondie

Just want to say how well I think you're doing. It's normal to be scared about all of this, I think most of us are, but once you realise that it is possible to arrest this addiction, you can start looking forward with positivity.

You have obviously been through a lot and it's great that you are taking steps to deal with any underlying issues that may have caused you to gamble. These will benefit you greatly.

Like you said, it's time to be brave! But it's also time to look after yourself, to give yourself the best chance going forward and anything you can do to help you, will be worth the effort!

Stay strong!

well done on day 10

what your doing is great in taking steps in talking to a grief counseller. sorry to hear about your dad. given an addiction up is hard enough without dealing with grief. you sound very strong and focused on what you want to

achieve. an inspiration to others. keep it up stay strong.

Hi Blondie, thanks for ur kind words on my diary. what u said makes a lot of sense.

Well done on the 10 days gamble free, u r staying strong although u r coping with a lot that show ur true strength and determination 2 beat this. U give me hope 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂 xx

Hi Blondie, thanks for your words of encouragement. Means a lot. With strength a perseverance we will all overcome this menace. Power to you my friend

hi Blondie... thx for your kind words on my diary... you are strong and brave, you are doing very well... this journey is neverending but every day we take, we learn how to be better person, how to improve our life and relations with those around us... stay strong and keep on posting. K.

Hi Blondie!

Hope your still going strong. 10 days is a big milestone for someone whos time is consumed by gambling, hopefully youve found thing to fill the void!

Im feeling alot more positive today :))

All the best

Day 11 Gamble free

Thank you everyone again for your positive words and encouragement.

So how is day 11 for me. Well its still gamble free, so im happy about that. 🙂

Last night i attended an on line G.A meeting its my second one and i shared also as part of that meeting. I find its really helping me to stay focused and to listen to other peoples stories of continued strength and success.

Its so encouraging to see that people are making really big steps and there lives are improving along the way.

I logged on my internet banking last night also to see how much money i had spent before the 23rd of april on gambling, ive never counted before, i just spent it, ignored it, and checked my balance every now and then, in all honesty it made me feel sick and thats just one month.

I know i cant get that back.. and im actually done chasing it and the countless thousands before that, but i found it was good albeit painfull therapy, and just another reminder of what i am doing to myself finacially never mind emotionally.

I feel like ive been through a washing machine these last 11 days, and ive asked myself lots of searching questions that i dont have the answers to yet, but i hope intime they wil come and i realise now that i need to stop putting such high expectations on myslef and give ME a little time to work through it.

I wont be posting until monday now but dont worry i wont be gambling, Im going away for the bankholiday weekend, and im excited, ive always loved holidays because i dont even think about gambling when im with my family.

So friends I wish you strength in your continued recovery, stick with it, it WILL be worth it.

One day at a time

Blondie day 11 Woo hooo.. and moving on up

x

hi blondie00,

dont look back to your account, its doesnt make a difference now.what is lost, is lost now.just take it one day at a time.try to live for today.my mistake is that i always looked at what i have done in the past and what i ll do in the future.its wrong.we have to look at today.just for today i wont gamble and i ll be a better person.just for today...

enjoy your holidays

mike

Hi Blondie, I know we have similar stories of loss and heartache over many years. 11 days is huge! Keep fighting. And thanks for the kind words. Anyway have a great holiday.