Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Hey Blondie,

Thanks for your posts 🙂 always very much appreciated! I have reached the end of day 50 so now I can sleep easy knowing I hit the first of I hope many milestones! Like we both say it's just about keeping it simple one day at a time!

I really see great progress in your posts, you are getting on top of the gambling now and beginning that personal inventory which is the next step in the journey!

Really really pleased to see you got something out of GA as you prob know I attend a meeting myself on a Thursday and I really do see it as a great aid in my own recovery! I am lucky In that the group i go to is very supportive and laid back, they see the meeting as almost taking their medicine, it's an Intersting take on things but I quite like the analogy. If nothing else I like that I kinda feel accountable to the group, I like saying this week I did not gamble, and all in all I find GA most helpful!

A big well done tonight you mentioned after a day at work and returning to an empty home would often be a trigger, but the new you ignores that trigger and catches up with her gamcare friends it's a far more sensible option and one that I personally am really glad you chose just for today!

Have a lovely week and keep doing what your doing cos it's working for you big time!

Flagg

Evening,

Big high five on week 5 ,

I will be there both hands raised to salute , 10 , 20 and the big 5 0

Keep going honey , it's great to hear you so happy.

Feel a bit silly on the top of tree , with Christmas 7 months away, ok if I come down for a month or two. Lol

Dusty xxxxxxxxxxx

Ty hun. In fact it is Wednesday that I should get my scan results. Looking for secondary growths. If it is localised should be pretty sortable. Big op possibly on my tum and with good fortune will clear it up.

Not handling it well as I am still overcoming a bad nervous breakdown from 2 years ago. Still a top wife and all sorts of support. Hitting the cider jar a bit too much of an evening but not too worried about that right now. Goes down a treat with anti depressants, sure makes me sleep.

Told my unofficial adopted son today. Think he was shocked but was offering to get me back from Reading to Plymouth for an emergency op. We are going there to have a break with my sis in law and help her in the divorce of an excuse of her man that was her husband in her divorce. Of course the lovely Ange, my wife, says if I go for an emergency op she is driving me there.

Anyway my message to you. Having hung around these sort of sites for years, I get a gut feeling. For you, I am pretty convinced you are on the way to a good recovery. If you have a slip or two so what. No one will ever think the worst of you.

Write out those lines. In them, they contain all the things you need to know why quitting this pointless task of gambling is very worth doing.

Good you are a friend.

Hi Blondie

Superb effort on 5 weeks.. you just go from strength to strength. I love the way you have embraced this recovery and your whole positive attitude towards it. I also totally admire the support you give out to nigh on everyone on this site, always having something constructive and positive to say... long may it continue as you really are an asset around here!

Keep going buddy, you're doing great!

xx

Day 36

No councelling today have a week off this week, which gives me more time to reflect.

I have come to terms with my dads death, and i accept that it was his choice not to go to the doctors and even though i spoke to him about it, i could never have changed that decision, and it wasnt mine to make anyway.

The flash backs are subsiding now, i started treatment last week for Post Traumatic Stress and the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy last week really helped me to start processing those traumatic memories into something more normal, because of the quick succession of my dads sudden death, my mums ankle and there dog all in the space of 2 weeks my counceller said that your brain hasnt had time to process the trauma because of 3 traumatic events in one go and the CBT is really helping me to do that.

No palpatations and only 2 panic attacks this week and that was when i was on a beach that had a quick sand sign lol which i think is quite normal behaviour, so i think i am getting back to my old self again, i feel lucky that i didnt quite tip over the edge but i know for sure i was tettering on it ever so dangerously.

Getting back to work was no where near as bad as i had made it out it was going to be, work have been great and i have a fantastic team so thats another thing to be thankfull for.

No gambling urges apart from last night but that didnt last long and i fought it off a bit like swatting a fly which i took immense pleasure out of .

I know for sure i couldnt of got through the past 5 weeks if i had been gambling, I just wouldnt have dealt with it, it would of still been locked away in that box in my stomach, Im glad i opened it, I really am.

My dad always used to say "You get one shot at Life, this isnt a practice run", and as always dad you was right. xxx

Blondie day 36, quite humble and very thankful

x

I was just coming to say hope the counselling goes well but see you haven't got it today. I think a week off is a good thing as it sounds hard going!

Ah palpitations, flashbacks, panic attacks and post traumatic stress - I can see now why you are so understanding about my little girl. I have both first and second hand experience of all of these and can empathise/sympathise completely, to put it bluntly it sucks!!

You just take care of yourself missus, you are beginning to heal for sure but it can't happen over night. Wishing nothing but good things to come your way hun. x

Hi Blondie, thank u 4 ur support and kind words on my diary. It means alot 🙂

U r doing amazing... u r taking this journey with all ur strength and determination. I know u can do this 🙂

I hope u remembered to get off the bus lol 🙂

Stay strong and keep going xx

Hi Blondie,

A post straight from the heart and mine goes out to you x

It's great to see the CBT is already changing your thinking patterns and hopefully over time you will start to settle even more, anyone would have found what you have had to deal with difficult so never think you are alone.

Well Done on swatting those devils, feels good does'nt it!

Glad work was not as stressful as you thought too.

Your dad's used wise words there and i think we should all take that on board.

Keep Strong, your doing great

Lucy xx

Hi Blondie,

I just want to tell you that I am very proud of you. You have had so much adversity and heartbreak lately yet you keep moving forward in a very positive way. And congrats on not gambling. At the same time I feel empathy and compassion. Yet I'm very inspired for Through reading yours and other diaries that we all are just people navigating our way through life. And life doesn't come with blueprints. None of us are perfect. Least of all me. But what we are trying to do today is what matters. And it feels good. And it feels real good that we can all lean on each other sometimes for support. I feel so happy for you in your struggle against gambling. And I hope your proud too for facing things head on. It's a big deal Blondie.

I started getting panic attacks when I was 18. Even though I was an athlete and in great health. They would hit unexpectedly. When they did palpitations , dizziness etc. I thought I was having a heart attack each time and was sure to expire. It took me a few 5 years to try and conquer them. Its when I realized that when the mind hurts it cries out through the body. Some therapy, meditation and just realizing that physically there wasn't a problem with me helped me to overcome.

Keep doing what you're doing just the way you do and take time to smell the roses.

Chris

Good evening Blondie, thanks for your post on mine.

Geezo you are one mighty strong woman !!! You got all the things that happened in you personal life, you got the gambling, you got the therapy, and you got work too, and yet you still find the time to come on here and offer so much support to so many people, oh and I forgot to mention the shoes !! lol

You are doing an amazing job all round, and you are much to be admired.

Keep posting, stay strong, and have a great evening.

All the Best

Cameron

Hi Blondie, Thanks for your post.

The progress you are making is phenominal, I really don't think many people would manage dealing with such an intense situation... but you are facing your challenges head on, with a fierce determination.... but still trying to smile.

I don't know whether you can see the light at the end of the tunnel yet... but we all know it is there, and whatever the course of our journey, we know the journey is worth making.

:O)

Jon

Hi Blondie

Ur dad was spot on sayin that bout u only get one life and there's no practise runs a quote I used myself to others over the years but never quite implemented in my own life till seeing the light with gambling

And u av certainly seen the light and are now facing up to everything thrown at u and importantly dealing with it , everyone has so much time for u and that's because u make the time for then even when life can be tough

So a big thank u from all of us

Take care

Castle2

hi blondie00,

i hate so much gambling that i ll do whatever it takes to stay away from it.my only other addiction is smoking, which i know is bad but i can handle it.but i ll never expected in my life to be addicted from this silly, cr**,ugly thing which is called roulette.i dont miss it, i dont have urges, i m not thinking:'what if i play 100 euros..' i just HATE it.it ruined my life but i ll turn my life round this time.this time is for me now, for my life.i m starting to love myself again.

you are very strong,you seem very determined,you ll see after a couple of weeks that weeks will be passing more quickly than now.gambling is past.our mission is to recover and to help others in the forum or ga meetings to recover too.

take care

mike

blondie.

A huge well done on your continued effforts to live the gamble free life and with every day you will become stronger in your resolve to live gamble free.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Blondie, how are u today ? Hope you've not had too much on your plate and you're getting a chance to come up for air !!

Your are such an inspiration on here, long may it continue.I wish you nothing but the best in all you do, and I know that you will beat the gambling demons, they're in the past, done and dusted, all we have to do now is make sure we keep them there.

Have a great evening, take care

All the Best

Cameron