Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

You're so very right Blondie, it's not just about money, losing time and being preoccupied with gambling is just as if not more damaging. One more reason never to go back to that awful world. Thanks for the post, Steve.

Hi Blondie, thanks for your post on my diary, got on ok at hospital, thank you for your concern - once again thats a sign of you sharing and caring from the huge heart you have.

Your day with your mum yesterday sounds like you had the most amazing mum/daughter time. I agree with you whole heartedly that the gambling turns us into people who we do not recognise.We do and say things that are so out of character and once we've said or done them, we say to ourselves, did I really do/say that. Thats why its great when we start to find the real us again, to start acting and doing things that come naturaly and not the ducking and diving, conniving people that gambling turns us into.

You really have made a difference to me and so many others on here, and for that I thank you so much.

Congrats on your day 23 anniversary, you go girl !!

Take care, have a good day

Cameron

Hi Blondie, just wanted to say hi. I havent as a habit read many other diaries. Today I started reading other people's stories. It's inspirational ! I'm happy to hear that you have relinquished your superhero status. I can only imagine what it must be like to shoulder such a burden. It must be very overrated too.

I have to admit though that I think your pretty super though. And I take much from your intelligence, support and experiences you have shared. I'm starting to believe that the way to make our lives happy is to open ourselves up , share who it is we really are, and then trust in the good in others. I think that is the gateway to something better.

I think you are doing fantastic! You should be so proud of yourself for not gambling. Keep up the great work . You don't have to be super. Just being yourself is super enough.

Hi Blondie, just wanted to say hi. I havent as a habit read many other diaries. Today I started reading other people's stories. It's inspirational ! I'm happy to hear that you have relinquished your superhero status. I can only imagine what it must be like to shoulder such a burden. It must be very overrated too.

I have to admit though that I think your pretty super though. And I take much from your intelligence, support and experiences you have shared. I'm starting to believe that the way to make our lives happy is to open ourselves up , share who it is we really are, and then trust in the good in others. I think that is the gateway to something better.

I think you are doing fantastic! You should be so proud of yourself for not gambling. Keep up the great work . You don't have to be super. Just being yourself is super enough.

Blondie,

Well done on staying clear of gambling and a big well done for getting by payday without gambling. I think by powering through these hurdles we become stronger in our recovery and start to believe ever so more that we can really do this. I can tell from your posts that you are becoming more confident in yourself and this will grow each and every day.

Keep up the good work.

Tomso.

Hi Blondie

The support u receive doesn't surprise me at all and not just a few words here and there but posts full of admiration and thank u,s so I hope ur very proud of urself as these posts u thoroughly deserve

The support what u offer to others is a credit to urself and it's people like u that make this site work

Well done on ur achievements so far and I can see by ur determination that there will be many more to come

Take care

Castle2

Hi Blondie,

Great post there!

Agree, gambling takes sooo much from us, TIME!

Like you was so absorbed all my time went into sitting there just throwing thousands after thousands away, ignoring nearest and dearest and having no life whatsoever!

But life changes when you decide it's time to quit and turn it around, a long road to travel but by staying strong and makings amends with the loved ones one that can be achieved.

You have had a lot to deal with , i'm sure your daughter will love the cooking lol and make lots of mess but that's all part of the fun!

You are really supportive on here and i know others are really finding your support really helpful

Keep Strong Blondie and together we can all enjoy a much better bet FREE life

Smiling Lucy

x

Day 25

It was Treat thursday yesterday , i went and had a facial which was so relaxing, i thought i deserved it for making it thus far.

Its my eldest daughters birthday today she is 23, she is off to vegas the end of this month with her friends, I asked her the other day "Your not going to gamble are you", but she is going to party not gamble, i suppose i just worry that my addiction will in some way be passed on to my girls and hope that in time i can be honest with them about my recovery journey.

I havent really told anyone yet about my addiction, im not sure what to do about that. ? It seems to be something that has been nagging me at the back of my head for a few days, so i suppose its one to think about if its bothering me.

I still cant beleive that i got paid 3 days ago and i havent spent one penny on gambling, it wont sink in lol, I feel a bit flat today i know I have things that i still need to tackle, my relationship with my eldest is a little strained at the moment and i think i need to sit down and speak to here about a few things but obviously not today as its her birthday, but i have to remember that its small steps, I could feel myself getting a bit overwhelmed if im not carefull.

So for my own benefit these are the things that today i will be thankfull for.

Im alive

I am in good health

I have a roof over my head and food in my cupboards, and good food at that now i dont gamble lol

I have 2 beautiful healthy girls

I have a boyfriend who worships the ground i walk on

I have good family and nice friends

I have a good job

I have money in the bank

I have the support of some amazing people on this site

and today i am gamble free

Onwards and upwards, one day at a time

Blondie day 25 x

Hey hey,

Treat thursday I like it!! I treat myself everyday I put my single pound coin into my pot at the end of every day it's my Barcelona fund and it's a nice to know that the fund grows a little every day, almost like

I do as a person!

As for telling people you will find many differing opinions but I think it's a need to know thing! I told the people who needed to know and that equates to a grand total of 4 this may increase to 6 when I'm ready but it hasnt got to be a worldwide announcement! I must admit though I did find it a wonderful release telling someone that might be something to bear in mind!

Hope you have a fantastic weekend you deserve it!

Flagg

Hi Blondie

That is such a great post! Well done for focussing on all the positives in your life, because there sure are a lot of them!

You are coming on leaps and bounds on this journey and you are doing all the right things. You should be very proud of yourself.

Keep fighting the good fight.. there's a bright light waiting to shine on you at the end of that tunnel!!

LMM xx

Hi Blondie

Thanks for the post on my diary.

I totally relate to what you say about about the roulette in regards to it not being about winning but still wanting to play when all hope has gone. When I was down to my last £100 I knew I was going to lose and literally just wanted rid of the money, feeding it into the machine as fast as possible.

This forum is a valuable resource in our fight and we should be thankful we've found it and have the support of people who can relate to one another's problems.

Hi Blondie,

Well done on the 25 days gamble free, u r doing gr8!

U should be really proud of urself, ur determination 2 beat this shines thru 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hi Blondie,

Day 25 for you, woop woop !!

Great post today and I agree with Flagg, you'll know when and with whom you want to tell. The 1 person in my life who 'gets' me is my son.

Your post made me think of my niece and what she saw as a shameful secret. As her lifelong friend and confidante she came to me 1 day in absolute tatters, she could'nt go on, she wanted to die, she would never be able to walk down the street again, what was she gonna do, what about her good name ???????

And what may you ask was all this over ??

Her son 'came out' and told his parents he was ***.!!! No big deal I say, but she and her husband were absolutely devastated. They had set such high hopes and saw everything in life in little boxes..a place for everything, and everything in its place.

I told her how that it was'nt anything to lose sleep over, that at the end of the day he was still her boy, the same one as he was the days weeks months and years that he'd always been, he hadn't changed, he'd just 'found' himself.

So 2 years down the line, the dust has settled in their household, my great nephew is happy with his partner - and, my niece and her husband welcome them both with open arms.

What Im trying to say is, things that seem huge usually arent that big at the end of the day. There are always bigger concerns in life , like the health and welfare of our loved ones, theyr the things that matter. So you stop stressing bout coming out, if they know-they know. if they don't-they don't, Its your call.

Sorry for the long winded post, long way for a shortcut as the saying goes haha !!

Take care hun, wishing you a good weekend

Cameron

Hi Blondie, thanks for your post.

I just can't seem to get over that I gambled the other day. I didn't go all the way like I normally would have, but the point is I let myself down, my friends and my counselor. I thought I could bet this.......

Maybe by next week, 1 day at a time, I might learn to love myself again. I feel like such a phoney...

Thanks again for your kind words.

Crystal - 3 days

Hi Blondie,

Know what you mean about others knowing but if we arrest this then you can change it !

You are doing so well and i know how you feel about your daughter , i know my son likes a bet on the footie etc but must be strong for him so he just enjoys an occasional bet and not become complacent about betting, i dont think he will as he is really tight with money, not like his mum lol

I'm sure it will become easier for you as you advance in your recovery and am there if you need me

Smiling Lucy