Get this poison out of my system

Had a tough day. My Mum is insisting that I set up an ISA with the maximum of £3,600 in it from the money I've earned this summer. I don't have this money because I lost it gambling. I hate lying to the people close to me. I hope I can get out of this mess without them finding out. It did occur to me to try and win enough money to set up this ISA, but I know now that more gambling will just lead to more problems, so am steering well clear.

Gamble-free for 3 days now.

Hi,

Just been reading through your diary as not been on here for about a week

Firstly, well done for coming on here and being so honest about your gambling and doing something about it.As a mum of someone not much younger than you, it makes me sad that young people are getting hooked on gambling but I'm wondering, if you owned up to Mum, would it really be such a bad thing - sure, she'd be upset at first but I think she'd be glad that you've been honest and that you're doing something to put your finances back in order and kick this awful habit before it's too late.

The post about the lenght of your bank statement certainly rang true - I've been playing roulette machines for 2 years and every month there were pages of withdrawals from cash points and over the bookies counters and nothing else on there - this month, after 2 months off them, there was half a page - rent money and purchases from shops - nothing else. And the biggest surprise was a plus balance and not a minus one on the bottom line.That's how short a time it takes to change things around and get your life back on track

Wishing you all the best - keep reading others' experiences on here - it helps a lot

Kay

Thanks for the encouragement Kay.

I went for my first run today and that was fun. Still keeping well clear of gambling. If I make it to 1 year I will change my username to SirGambleNot, so that's a kind of qwerky added incentive to me.

Much respect for everyone who is taking positive steps to get their life on track,

SGL

Had my biggest urges so far today. I really want that money back. That is the only thing driving me towards gambling ever again. But I know it will most likely end in further loss, so I have to accept that the money is gone and start my life again with the money I have left.

Planning on another run tomorrow.

SGL

Went for a big run yesterday, had a rough day today, but sorted out some stuff with my Dad (nothing to do with gambling; still no-one else knows) and feel better now. I am still gamble-free. 10 days now.

SGL

I'm still resisting the urges. Went out with friends today to do one of my favourite things. And I just saw a 22-year-old man run 100m in 9.58 seconds.

Life is good without gambling 🙂

Hang in there everybody,

SGL

hi mate

well done on staying determined, but i sense you are still hurting from your losses.

I can understand that, but you have to let it go.the money as gone, and its not coming back.

Being only 20 years old you can put this down to a expensive mistake, you had your time with gambling, its hurt you, but if you quit now, for good, a few years down the line you can look back and think how silly it was but unscathed, rather than in a few years look back and think, I so wished i quit gambling when i was 20 years old, when i had no debt, and at least still some savings, because trust me, if you continue, regardless of anything else in your life, you will be very unhappy! read some diaries on here as proof to back that up, mine included. wish you all the best.

neil

Thanks Neil. I have read some diaries and I realise that it will be much easier and better if I quit now than further down the line and up to my neck in debt and misery.

I have had a good gamble-free week. I would like to share some wisdom that I heard from my grandmother this week.

I got a beautiful new pair of cuff-links that my parents bought in Italy. I showed them to my grandmother and she said something like: "I wish you good health by them. Not money or luck, just health, because that's what really matters". It's amazing how sometimes people say exactly what you need to hear, without even knowing it themselves.

I am very thankful that I have my health, and I am only becoming more healthy the longer I keep away from the poison of gambling.

Wishing you all good health and a gamble-free day,

love SGL.

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Gamble-free since Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:30pm

Great post!

Here's to good health, its priceless 🙂

Hello avid readers (wishful thinking, I know...),

just dropping in to say I'm still going strong on the no-gambling front. Have had a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions this week, but have come out of it for the best. I'm trying to find worthwhile activities to fill in those "twitchy hours" of an evening when I am most tempted to gamble. Well, to be honest, it's not such a problem thinking of things to do, I just need to be more proactive in improving my evening routine by actually doing the things that I've decided to do.

Oh, and I've started to learn to touch type, and decided to make it a moral lesson at the same time:

"The lazy compulsive gambler just wanted a quick fix"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it incorporates the whole alphabet.

All the best,

SGL

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Gamble-free since Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:30pm

OK So I went and copied the phrase put it into a Word document and checked it. Yes all the letters are there (LOL).

Hope you find something to fill the voids. Maybe trying too hard might be dangerous as if you tire you might think about the easier option of things to do. Just a thought. Keep on your guard.

Take care

Steve E

Hi SGL,

Understand what you mean about up and down moods, they can be very frightening in the early days of recovery. Stick with it, its worth it!

As for knowing what to fill the gambling void with, think it's different for everybody, bu still very difficult all the same. Lots turn to exercise, which is a good thing, but not if you are struggling for motivation. I have taken up reading about addiction and the causes of it to try and give myself some understanding of my past behaviour. I also spend too much time on here, but it's a lot cheaper than the other, so who cares. Whatever works for you is good and you will find it,

Good luck

DT

Hi SirG,

Thank you for your thoughts in my diary. Your right in what you say about being pro-active with friends. The more one makes contact with them the more they are likely to keep contact with you. Its obvious really of course, but for me the reality is that over the years I have lost many friendships simply out of an idleness over keeping contact. Like everything good in life it takes effort.

On the gambling front you seem to be doing well.. making effort to fill the void etc... greast stuff. Though just a word of caution as its something I think you said on my diary.. be wary of a build up to a big "all or nothing" bet. Ive seen and read about it many times. Saving up money maybe for months and months and then going for the big one.. it always ends in disaster.

Strangely it never worked quite that way with me. If i was in gambling mode, id gambling with 30p I might have found on the street. But however ones gambling works.. the outcome is always the same.. financial drain and personal misery.

Anyway.. all te best in recovery... keep up the good work.. S.A 🙂

Thanks everyone for your posts and support. I've now had over a month gamble free. I am keeping my bank statements in a box in my room, so that whenever I get a really big urge I have something to remind me what happens when I turn to gambling. Not that it will necessarily stop me, but it's worth a try.

Soon I will be back at university, which is something I have been looking forward to for months, so that should be a welcome boost. I'm going to start looking for part-time jobs to fit around my studies this year, because my timetable will probably not be too hectic. Up to now I've been very naive with money, especially online. Online £1,000 is just a number, just a stake, but if I had 50 £20 notes in my hand I might see it differently. I'm going to try and be financially stable when I've finished uni, so I can put the gambling behind me and learn positively from it.

Have a good week everyone,

SGL

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Gamble-free since Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:30pm