Ive not gambled for a week now, but I find that this is where it gets hard. Felt really low tonight after seeing a friend in the supermarket. Seems like her life has moved on without me. Although she was still friendly and chatty, theres more distance there. She said she can probably meet up in a few weeks. Thats what happens when you are out of circulation for a while, people move on then dont have much time to fit you in anymore. It feels lonely.
Hi Freda,
Good to meet you in chat and well done on a week free.
As for friends, they come and go....that's life. You will meet new friends, I'm sure, as you move on with your own life. Just think about yourself Freda and look after yourself too...........don't worry about others too much 🙂
Keep strong.
Jas x
hi freda,
completely understand what you mean about losing touch with friends because of the gambling - it's another aspect of this horrible thing - I said on my first post that I had been like a hermit for a long time and people will drift away if they haven't seen you around.Tough though it is, the few people who are real friends will always be there for you no matter what.I've met some awful people masquerading as friends in the past and realise now that some you are better off without!
I've found that now I'm not spending my time hiding away in the bookies and doing mundane things like a bit of gardening. neighbours I didn't even know stop and talk to me.
I'm not trivialising things and do hope it doesn't sound patronising as my partner works terrible shifts and I have often felt incredibly lonely ( not a good feeling for a gambler ) but the longer you stay away from arcades, the more money you'll have in your purse and hopefully you can get back a bit of social life again.
It's not easy - I was out for a few drinks at company 'do' last week and felt very self-conscious all evening as i've got out of the habit of 'mingling' and really didn't have a lot to talk about as my life had been work and machines for so long.
You're doing really well so far - onwards and upwards!!!
Kay
Hi Freda
you hit the nail on the head when you said about being isolated because of gambling, its not the actual gambling that isolates us i dont think, i think its the secrecy about it, the constant struggle when we are trying to find money somehow , anyway we can. trying to come to terms with how we feel about gambling because in a way our sub concious is telling us c/gs we are doing something that could ultimately destroy us and everything we do have. sorry that sounds sooooo depressing was just putting down my thoughts on it.
as for being alone, on here this is one of the places where you are not alone, a place where you can be honest, a place where finally you can deal with this addiction and just as the title says build a recovery diary for your own recovery.
stay strong freda, its been said a thousand times or more on here but the one day at a time really is all we can do for now
good luck my freind
G x
Feeling much better today. Sad feeling passes quicker than you'd expect.
Right on with today! as that fish out of finding nemo would say 'just keep swimming!'
hi freda thank you so much for your post on my thread, it so helps to know someone is listening to me if that makes any sense?
you stay strong freda , we are all in the same boat here, with one aim , one aim to be gamble free, free of the addiction thats nearly destroyed us.
big hugs back to you freda, speak soon
G xxx
hi freda, thanks for the kind words, hope you are ok and had a good day. i never thought life would turn out like this and relying on gambling to escare lifes problems. Anyway all the very best to you, take care. x
Had my first session of addiction counselling this morning.
Was very upsetting talking about how I feel, and realised Ive been needing a 'selfish' outlet like this for a loooonng time. I feel so overwhelmed by my own feelings that sometimes I cant handle other people's problems, so its been hard to make new friends.
At least in counselling I can just let it all out without feeling guilty for not being able to return the favour. I feel confident that once I deal with my emotional distress, I'll be able to deal with other people better.
I surprised myself with how upset I did get, but feel confident with this counsellor. The last one I went to see was a trainee, and talked about herself so much I felt it was all about her! Not good if you cant get a word in edgeways in your own counselling session!
I think if I talk about my fears and emotional pain out loud, it will feel like a relief. Im hoping I wont need gambling as an outlet anymore if I stick with this.
Freda,
Well done on your counselling, I'm pleased you found someone you can talk to. The quality of counsellers, like most things, can vary enormously. Pleased you have found a good one.
Have a gamble free weekend.
DT
Hi freda, nice chatting tonight, hope you have good weekend, your a sweety. x
Hi Freda
Thanks for your post, hope you are having a good day, been swimming and had pizza with boys. They in garden playing, have a fridge full of food for the first time in a very long time (i know thats bad). My friend is looking after my money and bank card, cant trust myself yet! Anyway thanks again for your replies. I hope very soon i will be in the position to give you some support as you have for me. Take care and hope your ok.
Hi Freda
Hope you are having a good day, thanks so much for your support.
DT
Anytime. Have you been watching the Williams sisters? I find it boring when they are playing each other, but gonna catch the mens final tomorrow hopefully.
Keep posting if you are feeling low, take care
f x
Hi Freda
Thanks for your post, how is your weekend going? Hope you are ok, since joining this site on monday i never realised there are people out there with similar problems. Do you think that CG,s should be punished for there behaviour. My brain at the moment has gone into complete meltdown, realy have to concentrate on the here and now, finding myself bogged down with guilt and regrets. Hope im not depressing you, sorry if i am. take care x
The time is now
Now is the time to act. Now is the time to live.
Now is when you can make a difference. Now is when you can bring your intentions to life.
In this moment you can choose to step forward. And when this day is over, you will already have made important progress.
Everything you need to take that first step is available to you now. It is now up to you to make use of the opportunity.
There is no limit to what you can accomplish when you put your effort and commitment into it. Now is the time to make the commitment and to begin the effort.
You have a dream, a vision of how truly fulfilling life can be. Now is the time to make it real.
-- Ralph Marston
Take Care
STAY STRONG
Kim xx
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