Going to keep this thread now!

I guess the reality of modern life is that for many people, they will behave in a certain way towards you because they either "want something from you" or "want you to behave in a particular way". It takes a while I think to really understand each other and to figure out what friends or partners or work colleagues really think of you and why they act as they do towards you.

For example at work I find that I can be exceptionally friendly and patient and helpful with a colleague or a service user but inside I might be really annoyed or irritated by them. I guess the kind way of putting it is "being professional". I find it exhausting putting on a false front though but sometimes I just find myself doing it as a way just to get through the shift or the situation.

Anyway I hope things are settling down in your neck of the woods. x

Sending  you hugs Freda...

Hope you're  keeping  well and content.  Look after yourself 

S&B xx

Thanks, guys.

SA, yeah, I always know that fake persona with work people. I can kind of feel it. Bit more manipulative and dark, doing that to try and gain sexual intimacy with someone, in my humble opinion. He's quite convincing when it comes to performing "love" but yeah, to see it pan out so impatiently, on his part brought it home. I'm lucky he was so overt and clumsy that evening. I could have softened toward him, had he not pushed the issue that night. He may have gotten what he wanted - under false pretences. 

I haven't been posting, as I just can't be bothered to engage with my own "story" at the moment. It feels like I'm repeating myself. It's just details, noise. 

I'm used to being single again, now. It's so strange at first, when you're used to maybe only spending 2 nights a week alone. Big change in routine. The old foster boy was a shouter and the silence when he was gone, seemed to heighten the contrast.

I haven't done an awful lot with my week off work, although I've gotten more gym sessions in. 

Sometimes you just need to rest.

Had my second date with the new bloke on the scene.

He is very easy to talk to, good company. He's also very respectful and gentlemanly and I remind myself it's sad that this is unusual but it is the better way to be treated. 

His worst quality is definitely lateness. He has seemed very keen in general, messages back fairly quickly and so on but he delayed by an hour and a half, at the last minute, on the first date and I still hadn't heard from him yesterday, 5 minutes before we'd arranged to meet, so I was a bit annoyed. I refused to sit around waiting to hear from him, so I got the hoover out. That's the thing with late people - they don't usually mean anything by it, but it wastes other people's time. He'd tried to phone while I was hoovering but I let him think he'd blown it for about 15 minutes, before I rang him back. He deserved it!

Anyway, I'm having some anxiety around getting to know someone new, feeling self-conscious, vulnerable, scared of being hurt etc. but it's manageable.

No urges to gamble, or do anything else nuts.

Work is OK, I feel tired a lot and sad that Autumn is here. 

Good luck with your new fella. Must admit the lateness would really grate on me. If your keen on someone then you let them know in good time. In fact you just let them know in good time whether your keen on them or not. I remember years ago I had a mate who was always late to the extent that I factored it in when we were meeting up. But looking back now I think how disrespectful it was the fact that he didn't really give a d**n if I was sitting in the pub for ages and ages waiting for him. I guess its kind of different for blokes, cos many blokes are in the pub on there own, but its not really if ya look at how one is being treated.

But anyway, like you say, early days... he might be your perfect fella! 🙂

o*g Freda ?

You don't  waste time at all do you! Beating  me by miles with love life! Apart from a handyman and another stroke of luck, (which turned out to be extremely ott  annoying romantic!!) I was single for 4 years!that is a bit...shocking ?..I lost  interest in everything  to be honest. Something  is wrong with me...

Lateness is annoying.  I'm very punctual person so guess would get wound up by someone  being late too! Explain to him how this makes you feel next time you chat and hopefully  he will get his clock set right ✅?

Good to see you enjoying yourself, life is indeed for living and we are human beings, that means...herding is our nature!

Take care and we'll done on staying  safe!

S&B xx

Thanks, guys.

Well, have you ever had "that" chat with someone, when you let your guard down and are just honest and vulnerable? I'm aware I have a track record of being taken in by the things psychopaths say but I dunno, I think most people are - that's the whole point, isn't it? They're really convincing. So, that being acknowledged as always being small possibility - maybe it's a large possibility.....maybe I'm a psycho magnet. There's a chilling thought... - the lateness certainly got explained amongst it all. I hadn't raised it. He said he had been really scared about meeting someone again. You know how we are all kind of lonely after a while, and do wish we had someone to grow old with but also are terrified of being hurt or hurting someone else. He also put on a lot of weight, so he was very self-conscious and doesn't feel attractive. He said he was really stressed before the first date and went back home to cut his fingernails. I can relate to that, as a woman. You are painfully aware of your appearance and that someone is going to be looking at you and basically deciding if they like what they see. I was surprised to hear a bloke feeling that way to that extent. We're all the same inside, I suppose.

He was early to our third date. I was very proud of being on time - I'm often a couple of minutes late, although I don't think people generally mind that. No-one is sat with a stopwatch, haha. He was already there! I couldn't believe my eyes.

However, he might end up being a big P**P head. We will see!

Ugh

mmmm.. that a long post 😉

Have you slipped up in some dog pooh?

Hope your ok 🙂

I can own my part - I rush things a little. People seem to find me intoxicating like drugs. They get high off me, then say a bunch of crazy stuff they don't really mean.

I'm not a drug, though. I'm a person.

Oh my days! What an absolute plank this dude is!

I'm virtually psychic. It's a blessing and a curse. I knew he was full of P**P. Sunday night he's saying it all! using his surname with my name "that's got a good ring to it" , talking about how beautiful our babies would be if we had them, are we together now, then? The whole Facebook, in a relationship, thing? blah blah blah

It gets under your skin, though. It's intoxicating. Next day, I just can't shake the feeling. He's full of carp. Make up a fake dating profile and "like" his. Within seconds he likes it back. Effing knew it! Gave him a terrible fright when I added a photo and messaged him, asking if I looked familiar. 

I just don't need it.

Hi Freda,

First of all you're smart for playing this guy & beating him at his own game. That said you deserve so much better. I ain't no relationship counsellor but I do know you deserve so much better. All I can add is that I hope one day you meet someone as honest & sincere as yourself, you deserve it. I just hope when that day comes ( I'm sure it will ) creeps like that don't make you so cynical that you fail to recognise Mr Right.

God Bless

Al

Hiya... yeah, kick this one into touch. He's immature. He's playing the numbers game. If he tells everybody that he loves them then maybe it will work out with one or 6 of them!!

Like you say, you don't need it

I did get a little schadenfreude, thinking of the terrible fright he must have got when my face popped up - but, yeah, he's a wally.

Oh, when you master self-love, you are abuse-proof, you really are. 

Narcissistic abusive "soul mate" (his words) contacted me one last time to get a dig in, before the discard. Said I'd said "horrible" things to him. I said I was really concerned about that and could I have more information, please? Have I said something abusive one time we were drunk together? "Just the things you've said in texts, read them back."I can find ONE THING, the day after he'd asked if we could be exclusive in a relationship but was still active on a dating profile. I said he was disgusting. Two hours later, I took it back but said his behaviour was not OK. I can sleep soundly tonight. They walk among us. I wished him the brightest of blessings and raised a glass to a lucky escape.

I love myself.