It has been a long and tiring day in which I have completed huge amounts of administration both at home and at work. However, most importantly of all, I've battered my way through four weeks without gambling and I celebrated by attending a concert this evening.
Day 28: no gambling today.
For the first time in a month, I walked into a bookies today for no particular reason. I just walked in during my lunch break, looked around, observed the people clustered around the FOBTs, watched two horse races and a bit of cricket and walked out. I did not spend any money and I did not have any real urges. I just felt the need to confront my demons head-on, which I did, and I did not succumb to the temptation of having a bet. In my past life, I'd be in the bookies with a wad of cash, throwing it away race after race with a thumping heart and a sweating brow. When I looked around today, I saw my former self running up to the counter with my betting slips to stake my hard-earned money on horses running around a race course and invariably watch them finish second in a photograph finish or fall at the last hurdle or just run like a total donkey from start to finish. I would carry on until I had no money left then walk out feeling sick. Today, however, I thought to myself, there is much more to life than this and I left. I do not plan to return ever again. I will stay gamble-free and my life will be infinitely better. Here's to a gamble-free weekend!
I'm glad you came through it unscathed. I'm not sure I could do it - it'd be like lying in bed with an ex and remembering what the s*x was like.
That's a good analogy, Milkman! However, today's visit to the bookies did not turn me on whatsoever. I'm looking forward to a gamble-free weekend. Sunday will mark one complete month without gambling so I can't wait to get that under my belt. I'll then focus on reaching 50 days gamble-free, then reaching Christmas Day gamble-free, then reaching New Year's Day gamble-free.
Day 29: no gambling today.
Day 30: no gambling today.
I am pleased to say that I have reached the end of my first month gamble-free. It feels good and I am having fewer and fewer gambling thoughts. I walked past the bookmakers yesterday and did not even contemplate entering. I must say that it is striking how hard the first few days are of one's recovery - the constant urge to gamble, the dragging days etc - but once you've got some days under your belt, the time starts to flow a bit quicker. I'm looking forward to Day 50, then getting my gamble-free teeth into 2012.
Day 31: no gambling today.
Along with a few other people on here, I am really looking forward to Christmas 2012. As long as I stay gamble-free it should be a great celebration marking over one year gamble free and, hopefully, the final clearance of my gambling debts.
Day 32: no gambling today.
I did not spend any money yesterday and am planning to do the same today. My finances are extremely tight at the moment and there is no room for any additional spending. Christmas shopping has been postponed until after pay day next week. Gambling is an impossibility and I would be totally reckless to contemplate gambling again as I know where it would lead - massive financial losses and extreme self-loathing.
There are too many abandoned, short-lived and one-post-only diaries on this site. It would be helpful if the moderators removed some of them after a period of inactivity as they are a waste of space and get in the way of more committed diary members.
Day 33: no gambling today.
Hello,
Kind of agree with you about the one-post/short-lived diaries. On t'other hand, I read through a dozen of them the other day, just to remind myself who I was in the last years (ie someone who recognised they had a problem, but wasn't strong enough to confront it.)
As for money, it's just horrible, isn't it? Daren't gamble because losing would mean'Game Over'. but have to buy something every day now, food, pressies, stamps etc etc
Stay strong!
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