Day 3: no gambling today.
Why is it so hard? I managed over 400 days last time around and here I am struggling to get through a week without gambling. I am so disappointed with myself. Frustration at work and worries about money got the better of me yet again today and I lost more and more and more. I should have been working but instead I just threw away everything I had left and more. I thought I could win some money back on the horses, but I just saw the money slip away and when the last horse lost by a head, I just thought 'no more; enough is enough'. I am not going to stake my future and the security of my family on the result of a horse race. Yes, I find horse racing exciting, but I cannot continue to live like this. As has been said by many people before me: I cannot win because I cannot stop. I have been in 'profit' so many times during periods of betting but simply ploughed the money back into other races and lost it all and more and more and more. It's a repeating pattern and it is going to stop NOW. I have closed my remaining online account and this is the final barrier in place. I admit I had left this door ajar before and I feel a fool about it. Anyway, all doors to the bookmakers are firmly shut in my face.
I have decided to ditch my smartphone in favour of my old Nokia dumbphone. My smartphone just made gambling much too easy. The internet and particulary the mobile internet have made my battle so much harder. I would never have been betting such vast sums of money if I had been restricted to cash down the bookies. Virtual money on a screen just does not have the same value as a wad of notes in my sweaty hand. I must learn to value money correctly again. Day 1 starts in earnest tomorrow.
Hi
I did the same thing for years I was off for 2 and a half years then spent seven trying to sort myself out. you are in a dangerous position. I am not going to hold back but if you don't do something drastic now your life as you know it will be ruined. This is a big decision either you want recovery or you want gambling up to you.
hi P,
Sorry to hear your struggling, i was going great for a month there but screwed that up last week.
I have just challenged Milkman to join me in targeting a month gamble free, hope you can join us, i am targeting on getting to the 1st of July as my first goal,
keep strong
Pat
You're certainly right about virtual money and 'in the sweaty hand money'. Terrible. Can you imagine what 2k looks like in tenners?
Wise move on the phone front. Anyway, those old Nokia phones were always more reliable.
There was a programme on Radio 4 on Tues, 330pm. It's still on the BBC iPlayer. You should listen to it; it's about people with addictions who fall and how they feel the moment they fall. Gambling and alcoholism are represented, and there's one great quote from an alcoholic who says that the first drink she had after a period of abstinence was like 'a party going on in her body'. That got me, I can relate to that. That's why it's so hard to stop. The memory of those first few 'hits', before it all goes t**s up money-wise, is too much for us CG.
Day 1: no gambling today.
Currently battering my way through day 2. Just received an email from some rancid casino offering me free spins. Disgraceful. Never been interested in casinos anyway so not even tempted.
I have just been accepted for a Post Office credit card but I do not know the credit limit yet. Hopefully at least 5k to cover my latest batch of losses. I need to conduct a balance transfer ASAP in order to get rid of my existing, soiled NatWest credit card, which is overrun with filthy, out-of-control gambling transactions.
Pat: you are on. Let us smash our way to the end of June together. 32 days to go including today. Hit it.
Day 2 nearly done, hope your feeling stronger for making it another day.
I am going to do as you suggested and start back on the 2 euro coins, it actually worked very well for me once before, I will try anything now.
Funny how we think alike, I would also see a new credit card as an opportunity to make money from those poor bookies. For relatively clever guys we can be very dumb by times.
Keep strong, we will feel so much better if we can get a good month under our belts.
Pat
Thanks Pat and good luck with your coin collecting! It's good to have some company on this wretched journey. It strengthens my resolve. In many ways I am glad I found this community because I could not have survived on my own. I don't know anyone with a gambling problem in the real world and non-gamblers just don't understand our problem. As I have said before, it takes one to know one.
I don't think intelligence has anything to do with our ability to gamble any better or worse than the next man. Once the red mist descends and we are into the chase, all reason and discipline goes out of the window and we are left placing reckless bets like a zombie. Having said that, in some ways having a bit of nouse may make things even worse: I have gone to fairly impressive lengths in the past to obtain and rotate credit while finding ways of gambling the proceeds covertly without anyone suspecting what was going on. Perhaps if I was less sophisticated in my approach, I wouldn't have made things so bad for myself and would have been found out long ago. Who knows. Anyway, this makes me more determined than ever to clamber out of the filthy hole I have dug for myself.
Day 2: no gambling today.
Hi Pelle,
Sorry I've been a bit slow, a very busy weekend - 2 gigs in the space of 12 hours plus my other job plus the kids. Will respond to all tonight when I get a moment
Hi Pelle,
No drunken slips - I'm off the booze completely to save money and also to avoid alcohol-fuelled gambling. Reckon I'll save 35-40 pounds a week (that's 12ish pints a week plus stupid extras ie nuts). It'll not do me any harm, that's for sure, but I don't half miss it. One month total abstinence and then I'll have 4pints a week max.
As for the gambling, still tempted but too scared at present, since there aren't many straws left to load on my proverbial camel. In the midst of restructuring finances; tried to shift a CC onto my new Lloyds one, but they haven't sent the activation card, so can't bloody do it at present. What happened when you got accepted for the co-op one? Was there some fireworks or a 'success' screen or something? Mine just fizzled on to a 'watch the post for further details' page without saying 'congrats' or anything similar. I wonder if they're checking on me.
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