Ground zero

60 days clean today.

Thank you for your support NT, Ryan and Suzanne. It is appreciated.

I spent some time earlier drawing up a repayment plan that would be affordable. Realistically, it is going to take me around two years to get out of this mess. I am aiming for a debt-free day of Christmas Day 2016. If I can stay gamble-free until then, I will succeed in paying off my gambling debts and re-routing my life in general. However, if I cave in to my addiction, the consequences will be catastrophic - I would lose my home, my job and my family. I would be emotionally, financially, morally and psychologically ruined.

For now, I just need to keep on marching, work hard and try not to allow the debts to overshadow the rest of my life.

Today is the first day of Lent - gambling is no bad thing to abstain from for the next 40 days and beyond.

Things can only get better.

Week 9: no gambling this week (63 days clean).

A steady week. I got through Friday's payday without any urges whatsoever. I made affordable payments to all my creditors and also paid off a hefty bill that had been hanging over me for several weeks. March is going to be another tight month financially with more expenses on the horizon, but I am looking to start making some proper inroads into my debts from April onwards. I need to grind this battle out.

Week 10: no gambling this week (70 days clean).

I have reached double figures in terms of weeks so something of a mini-milestone today. But it is nothing special - I reckon it will take me 100 weeks to get out of this mess. Still, I guess that means I am a tenth of the way on my road to salvation. Anyway, I have had no thoughts of gambling and no urges. I know Cheltenham is starting soon (adverts on the tube), but I do not care. It would just be another opportunity to lose money I have not got. Fortunately, I am going abroad on Monday and will be out of the country for a week. My finances are in a hideous mess with three weeks to go until payday. I am hopeful that once we hit April, I'll be able to start chiselling away at my debts in earnest. It just isn't possible at the moment as I have far too many expenses, including buying new locks for my front door (owing to a recent security breach) and a large water bill to deal with by the end March. Still, I knew January-March would be a struggle with my tax bill, service charge, ground rent, car insurance, and other expenses to deal with. I imagine I'll be starting April with £15k of gambling debts. Oh what a mess. Still, if I do not gamble between now and then I'll have 100 gamble-free days under my belt, which should serve as a solid platform for the rest of the year. I need to keep marching forwards. I cannot walk the road to perdition again.

Hi Pell,

Well done on 10 weeks today, 70 days is a great achievement.

Keep strong and stay positive, and keep winning.

Suzanne xx

Hope youre having a good trip abroad and Cheltenham won't cause you too many problems. Thanks for taking time to post on my diary. Its good going to get 10 weeks done isn't it, I look forward to reading you have reached day 100. Keep up the good work!!!

Just seen your post on the Tips for keeping busy...If you need any tips on cleaning windows I wished is ur gal!

Great work on 76 days...& the start of the last quarter of your solid platform! Keep strong - ODAAT

Week 11: no gambling this week (77 days clean).

Another week has passed and I have spent an enjoyable few days abroad. However, I am worried about the future. It is looking increasingly likely that I'll be emigrating later this year owing to the fact that my wife's work will take her to a better-paid and more secure job in her homeland - I'll have to move with her as I do not want to be separated from my child/children (another one is on the way). I am not sure where this is going to leave me in terms of my career as I won't have a job to move to straightaway, and it might take time to find something vaguely suitable, especially when I'll be competing with native speakers. Moreover, I cannot afford to be unemployed until I have paid off my gambling debts. All I can do is plough on in my current job for as long as possible and try to salvage what is a fairly desperate situation at the moment. I am more determined than ever to leave my company pension scheme - I do not see the point in contributing anymore when I'll be leaving the company by the end of the year, and I cannot afford the £200 per month it is costing me. There are two weeks until payday and I have a pitiful amount of money in my current account. I am going to have to scrape by yet again, but I am hopeful that April will be better as I'll be able to start hammering my debts in earnest. For now, I just need to keep on marching towards Day 100 at the end of this month.

Thanks for the post on my diary, stay positive mate! The stress you are under right now can make us seek 'free money'. Things may seem bad financially but you will be able to work a way around it. As long as you stay gamble free the light at the end of the tunnel will keep getting closer and closer. Have a great weekend mate!

Phil

Week 12: no gambling this week (84 days clean).

I am very relieved that the Cheltenham Festival is over for another year. I have avoided gambling, but it has been hard to avoid the Cheltenham adverts plus mentions of the action on the national news. I have turned away as soon as anything has come up and done my best to ignore as much as possible. Horse racing was my vice, so getting through this week was key to my ongoing recovery - it is the highlight of the racing year for horse racing gamblers (not the Grand National) so I am feeling relieved to have bypassed it. However, at times like this, parts of me still long to have an affordable interest in horse racing, because I enjoy the excitement and the spectacle, but I know deep down inside that any excitement would be short-lived and it would soon turn into a financial disaster. I cannot win because I cannot stop: irrespective of the outcome, an affordable bet would result in either greed (= more bets with higher stakes until I run out of money) or chasing money I have lost until I run out. The outcome is disaster. I must keep pushing forward with my recovery.

Week 13: no gambling this week (91 days clean).

Solid week. No urges.

My finances are still a mess, but if I had spent the last 91 days gambling they would have been a hell of a lot worse. I just need to remind myself how much I am saving every day of my recovery. Bornagain estimates a general figure of ВЈ50 per day, so for my 91 days without a bet I have saved £4,550. Not bad when you look at it that way.

Now I need to keep on marching towards Day 100 and beyond.

91 days is fantastic. Well done. You'll get those finances sorted. Great stuff. Keep going. Don't let the finances impact on your stead fast ways.

92 days today Pelle fantastic going be proud because you are winning now, finances may still be a mess, but they have not increased and they are slowly but surely decreasing every day you don't play lol.

Keep going stay strong that 100 is getting nearer.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for the post on my diary mate, you are getting close to the century so congratulations!!! As for the footy, who do you support? I try to look on my footy days as more about a laugh with the lads and a dose of life as when I was a gambler I never had the money to go or anyone to go with. It is however getting beyond a joke as the odd win here and there would be nice. It annoys me that I graft in work all week and then watch 11 wasters who are putting no effort in, a new manager could save us, if not we are in the conference. Keep up the good work mate!

95 days clean. ВЈ4,750 withheld from gambling corporations using a notional £50 per day.

Thank you for all your support. It is appreciated. I support Sheffield Wednesday for my sins, but have become a rather passive supporter in recent years.

It is nine months until Christmas and I have just checked my finances. Currently £15,622 in the red. Not good, but not worse than the position I was in 95 days ago. I need to reach Day 100 next week then really start to kick-on with my recovery plan.

Good luck everyone.

Hi Pelle,

How in God's name did you end up supporting SWFC? No wonder you were never a very successful gambler.

100 days is a real milestone. There's lots here that don't count or don't attach any importance to the numbers, but personally I think 100 days and then 6 months and then 12 months' abstinence are worth celebrating. You can't go back to your old ways now; 15k is hard, so much money, but your maths is probably not far out - £50 a day - and it really feels good to see the debts start to fall.

My life is now following a very similar route to yours - foreign climes beckon, moving with the debt, kids, our line of work...perhaps we're due a chat sometime soon?

Keep going; now the bubble has burst you'll see the debt slowly starting to reduce.

mm