Had enough. Time for change. For good!!

It’s Friday evening, it’s been a full on stressful week so time to take myself away for a good old spin on them reels.

Ha ha, good try gambling side of my brain. You forget, you devious little critter, I’ve re-wired you. You no longer have control over me. Cheerio and good riddance.

58 days gamble free and I miss it like a hole in the head.

Haha nice one, Ukds!

Lovin’ the positive attitude. I feel like I’ve rewired my brain too.

It’s very rare I think about gambling these days.

Instead, I’ve cracked open a beer and watching some telly. Tonight would have been a big gambling night. Not anymore!

Closing in on two months buddy! 🙂

Dan

A testing few days. My feline friend finally succumbed and with great sadness I had to take the decision to say the final goodbye. These are the times when gambling usually rears its stupid ugly head and tries to tempt me back in. Not this time, I’m over gambling for good. It’s life sapping, counter productive, pointless and quite frankly, just the thought of playing those mindless spinning reels is boring the pants off me.

At the weekend I received an email from one of the sites I used to frequent, telling me that they were closing down and would I like to log in( which I can’t anyway) and collect my balance of £2.10. To which I replied, how wonderful it was to see them closing down and perhaps they could do something good for once with their miserable lives and donate it to charity.

62 days. Lovely jubley.

Nice one on 2 months GF. I have read through your diary and can identify with the cycle of addiction and relapse. However you appear very positive and determined which is crucial for recovery. Keeping the motivation fresh in your head helps you to remember when the guilt starts to fade. I've abstained before but like you I'm hoping to start again properly this time. All the best, Myles

Hi Ukds69 - just want to say that I'm sorry to hear the sad news about your cat.

But a massive well done for the strength of spirit you're showing, especially at such a testing time - It's clear to see that your decision not have gambling sapping your life energies while boring you to death and stripping you of all cash is bringing you a much better life.

Inspirational. Well done for clocking up 62 days.

So sad to hear about your cat, but you got past what would have usually been a big hurdle for you at this time, so you win not the addiction.. massive step in your journey well done you.

Your response to that email was first class, made me smile 🙂

Everyday's a winner while you are not gambling I hope you reward yourself in some way as you deserve that, 62 days is very handsome indeed!

Best wishes,

angel x

Thanks for the comments Myles, Equinox and Angel, it means a lot.

I maintain that my continued abstinence is down to a combination of things and finding and posting on this forum is certainly a big one of them.

I now truly believe that I have broken the relapse stop relapse cycle. I can’t be 100% confident that it is for good but I’ve never felt this sure (even close to) that I’m well done with gambling for the entirety of my life.

Things are getting clearer and clearer. There is absolutely no doubt where I was going wrong before.

1. Trying to do it on my own. Forget staying GF if you are trying that. Long term it just doesn’t work. Whilst I didn’t reveal to my girlfriend, I have had counselling for the past 12 months.

2. Not wanting to give up completely. Yep, I thought I could control it. yeah, sure... You know, abstain for a year then allow myself a Little weekend ‘reward gamble’. Logic being; i’d have more money and I’d ‘simply stop’ after the weekend for another year or so. Hmmm, to say this is flawed is the understatement of the year! I’ve discovered that we will only truly stop by accepting that gambling will no longer play any part in our lives.

3. GAMSTOP. A big factor. Just knowing I can’t (as easily) hop on a new website, register, deposit and start playing again, is helping shedloads

4. Time and experiences. It’s taken so long and so many (many) relapses but with each one I now believe that I was edging ever closer to ta point when the straw broke the camel’s back. When the desire to give up finally became stronger than the desire to gamble.

To those of you further back on the road to recovery I offer you hope. I was in the depths of despair not that long ago. Nothing seemed to work. There was a sense of hopelessness that was all consuming. But it can be done, it really can. We can make choices. We absolutely CAN re-wire our brains

Off surfing for the weekend. No gambling on the North Devon coast!

66 days. Two thirds of the way to triple figures 🙂

A fantastic post mate and a one which speaks nothing but the truth.

I can vouch for all 4 of those points that you’ve made and they’ve all certainly worked for me too.

Especially, point 4! I’m also a believer that with each relapse that I’ve had, I’ve learned something new every time which I’ve taken with me onto my next journey.

Congratulations on getting to Day 67. You’re edging further and further away from the misery that gambling took you to. It’s happier times ahead.

Dan

Cheers Dan. Happier times indeed.

I was in the pub Saturday watching the France Argentina cracker and I couldn’t help but overhear and notice a guy sat with his mates on the table opposite. It was clear he’d bet money on the game as he seemed far more preoccupied with other things going on in the match and spent the duration on his phone. For what? Maybe he won a bit, if he did he’ll end up losing eventually and, for sure, any enjoyment from what was a great match itself, was totally lost on him.

68 days!

Into the seventies.

71 days and no gambling in sight.

It’s Sunday. The weather is gorgeous, England are into the SFs and I am 74 days gamble free.

Happy days.

Thanks for the morale boosting post in my diary mate.

Congratulations on hitting 74 days. You too must be starting to see the benefits of a life away from the doom and misery of gambling.

Yes, I’m not being fooled by those ridiculous Tv ads during the football matches. I now see them as tedious and a motive for them to trap us into a life of misery. No thanks!

Keep up the good work mucker! You’re striding towards those magical 3 figures.

Stay honest and keep happy 🙂

Dan

Cheers Dan!

Whilst it’s true that the cravings have all but gone and GAMSTOP is sat there as a huge, as of yet unused, barrier to the online gambling world, I am still mindful of how easy it would be to slip at any given moment.

Most likely to be, initially, in the guise of a scratch card or at a Motorway Service Station, I am trying not to get too complacent.

A good trick I’ve acquired is, every time I’m having a bad day for whatever reason, I just try and imagine how bad it would be on top if I was also still gambling and trying to recover a big loss. That always puts it into perspective and gives me positive vibes.

The big 80 today. 80 days gambling freee. Triple figures coming into sight....

Life is so much simpler, less stressful, more sociable, just plain better.

82 whole days gamble free.

Thanks for your post on my diary mate.

82 days gamble free is a helluva an effort.

I think you’ve just summed up in your last post what being gamble free actually represents for us compulsive gamblers.

Keep riding the gamble free train mate. It’s a happy ride one.

Dan