Keep it up and be a winner because you have not wasted all your time, money and energy on a pointless and painful exercise. Going to feel a lot better come tomorrow morning!
Hi Crossintheroad,
Thanks for the post on my diary. Well done on your recovery so far. I think the first couple of weeks is really tough to get through so well done. Also, good to read you had the strength to tell your wife and even better to hear she is supporting you.
Keep up the good work!
James
Day 10 double figures. No real urges kept myself busy over the weekend. Will need to guard against complacency I cannot win because I cannot stop. Need to have a good week exercising this week I'm sure that will help
Day 12 no real urges at the moment still coming to terms with how I've not come to my senses sooner. Thinking clearer, payday next week. For me a real achievement will be getting from payday to payday without a gamble
Day 13. Having a good day in work usually get incredibly stressed about presenting to a large number of people. Today I coped really Well, could this be partly down to the reduction in stress and anxiety caused by gambling. Let's hope it is and that's another positive to love forward with
So today has been a good day. Not only have I overcome some major anxiety issues which has plagued the past 6 years of my life bit also had good discussions with senior manager about where my future lays. I genuinely think someone is looking over Me, to be honest I would've paid anything to rid me of the anxiety and would have chosen the gambling over anxiety any day but never did i think they could be tightly linked. Did I gamble because of my anxiety? I'm not saying that is solely true but I think gambling was an escape for me. I'm only 2 weeks in but I see a future which is far brighter already.
I do need to sort my weight out as I'm currently about 3-4 stone overweight but if I'm honest overeating and lack of exercise was brought on by the anxiety. My weight can be solved whereas I didn't see an exit from the anxiety. I had a brief thought about calling to the bookies on my way home thus evening but was strong enough to say nah I don't need it. Let's hope I can remain strong and on the right track. Onwards and upwards
So today has been a good day. Not only have I overcome some major anxiety issues which has plagued the past 6 years of my life bit also had good discussions with senior manager about where my future lays. I genuinely think someone is looking over Me, to be honest I would've paid anything to rid me of the anxiety and would have chosen the gambling over anxiety any day but never did i think they could be tightly linked. Did I gamble because of my anxiety? I'm not saying that is solely true but I think gambling was an escape for me. I'm only 2 weeks in but I see a future which is far brighter already.
I do need to sort my weight out as I'm currently about 3-4 stone overweight but if I'm honest overeating and lack of exercise was brought on by the anxiety. My weight can be solved whereas I didn't see an exit from the anxiety. I had a brief thought about calling to the bookies on my way home thus evening but was strong enough to say nah I don't need it. Let's hope I can remain strong and on the right track. Onwards and upwards
So the mrs just came in and let up at me for no apparent reason. Totally flew off the handle. Sitting here annoyed and could easily gamble. I won't tho usually it would be a solice when things are s**t. I'll sleep on it. What a rollercoaster life is top of the world one minute in the s**t the next. Gambling won't help it may fill a void for a short while but it is not the answer. I read some diaries tonight I forget who but it mentioned people gambling because they have always had a money issue. I wasn't a rich kid my parents struggled but altho my parents losing almost everything in the 80s mostly due to Thatcher they still gave me everything. I was the kid on a council estate wearing nike air max trainers. There was little money to do a lot of things but I was dressed well so nobody could tell my parents were broke. Did this have an effect on Me? Maybe? I have a good job now my wife too things are very comfortable. I have personal debt of around 5k but have always had a spending problem easy come easy go. Who knows I'm still searching for answers. The most I have ever won is 6k. I've lost 20 times that easily. Onto tomorrow it can't come quick enough
A better day today. No Gambling, I woke up and was thank full I had no gambling hangover. That's the worst feeling remembering what went on wishing I cashed out thinking what I could have done with the money. Any how I didn't gamble let's try and get through the weekend. One thing I have noticed tho is things are a bit boring mad as that sounds calm but boring
So it's Saturday usually now I'm thinking about my accas flying in thus afternoon. No bets today but there is rugby on so I will spend the afternoon watching it. Once Saturday is out if the way I'm usually not too bad. Payday next week also so it will be more of a test then
Day 17 PAYDAY.
Paid out Money seeing straight away. Left with a bit less than what I thought. Usually this would annoy me and I did think about gambling to get the excess back. I know this isn't an option and I'm in this position because of what I've been doing. I owe approx 5k at the moment but this will be lower in a few months so just need to progress bit by bit. If I think about it too much it makes me sick.
My weight is an issue for me at the moment which I need to sort. Good diet this week and training. Next weekend I am going away with my wife so will look forward to that
Well done on 17 days GF, Keep it going!
Wilsy
Another day down, absolutely full of cold so not been training much. Thoughts of gambling getting less although now I'm realising how bad I got. Family members giving me cash for something I end up gambling it and now having to pay back. It was only £60 but thus was gambling in under 2 minutes and then lost another 200 on top. There is no value of money when gambling just totally irrational behaviour. My gambling I admit was pretty poor I could win a grand and gamble and gamble until it was gone 4 days later I always wanted more. I never once took a week or two off to enjoy the money I won so I never really won the cash. I won 6k once and have most of that to my wife. Think I kept 1500 for myself which I was going to pay half off my credit card. That never happened and I lost the lot and more. Madness
Good to hear you're doing well (apart from the cold ofc)
It is a big eye opener to a lot of things we were ignoring once we remove the "safe place" of gambling. Hard to look at some things we have done/not done but if we want to move forward, we must.
Keep at it =)
Thanks sj I plan to. Just find it crazy how a gamblers mind thinks
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