HARMONY !

Hi Shiny,

"Changing my life seems to be the biggest aid to my recovery"

For me I think its why I still have to work so hard simply not to gamble.

Well done for sticking to where you want to get to, despite the ex still playing the guilt card at every opportunity. Regards... S.A 🙂

Yo,

Weird really . Yesterday went out with my work crew ,heard a few things that will put me in the firing line on my return to work . So what happens ..............

Yep the obsessive thinking returned . With that the urges . Could not stop that washing machine brain of mine . f*****k it .

But it's all a question I feel of self preservation. I had planned to go to town this morning replace the battery on my phone . With that thought came the planning to escape my thoughts in front of a machine .

Got to a point that I had worked out what bank cards to take , foooooking hairs breath away . I knew that I if I did that , that the addiction would win the day .

The bargaining went back and forth , you know what I mean coz well you've all been there , right .

In the end I thought no sireeeeee, so yep still in my jim jams . Hardly ventured out of my bed all day .

A means to an end .

Time , money, location triangle . Had the time , had the money , stay away from the location .

Today shiny 1 addiction 0

Laters

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Sounds like a close call!

The time money location saying is true but this addiction is so powerful that it can overpower any thought of that scenario in whatever way it can so that in many cases where you have two out of three you find yourself creating the third so big well done for resisting......

Hey Shiny,,

You said it in one ..self preservation.!

You're worth something ...and today you know that to be true !! you made the right choice Hun..

R and D xx

Shiny,

Sorry to read about your night out. Great that you can face a tough situation like that and still be strong in dealing with addiction. To be honest that is where I struggle. I am not good at reversing a decision once the seed of doubt has been placed in my mind. I am all about being positive and staying positive. Hard task sometimes when you open yourself up to others. Some people can drag you down and I am sorry that a night out turns into causing you more hassle than it is worth.

I laughed out loud at your previous post on my diary. It is true I have spreadsheets for everything. I can tell you how many cigs I haven't smoked and how much money I have saved. Another charts my runs in terms of miles, calories etc. I love them.

Tomso.

Well done Shiny. Have been away for a few months. Great to see that you are still fighting temptation. DB

Howdy,

Thanks so much for checking in with me, I'm pleased you are proud of me, you've been there for so long and I am proud of myself.

Happy to see you are doing fine, I sure hope life is becoming happier for you and more settled.

Take care my friend x

my shiny friend.

thanks for sliding that well needed shake along the bar, it was well received!!!

As for your debate, I vote for the detergent from that German supermarket, the one without the pomp and ceremony!! it is called formil.

another recovery lesson, never judge a book by it's cover!!

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Shiny,

Let me tell you Shiny, you are such an amazing person, and your support is very appreciated to all of us. You always there, looking after us and giving us encouraging words and strength. I wish you all the best and keep fighting the good fight!

I am very proud of you, and wish you all good things happening in your life!

Take care and have a lovely coming weekend!

Sandra x

Yo,

Thank you peeps .

Although on holiday had to do a 13 hour shift in the shop:-( Same again tomorrow 🙁

Having said that it will be the last long shift I do. Exchange contracts next week ,and within 28 days gone .

Going to be a rocky month as emotions will run high , about my husbands future . But I will cope , even with the debate over assets which has already started to rear it's ugly head .

So much going on , both in. My personal life and in real life that poor brain feels like it will blow a fuse .

But I am learning daily , you can only deal with one thing at once . Coming home here everyday , to peace and quiet , definitely refuels me . ( and I count my blessings every day ) And gives me strength to cope with what ever s***t gets thrown my way the next day .

There is a very bright light as I come to the end of the tunnel, a light that for many years was not there .

Thoughts of gambling today 0 , why would I f******k up what I have been striving for .

Rambling a bit tonight , sosssssssssss

Laters

Shiny xxxxxx

shiny

We may not have had the same reason to gamble but through it we both ended up with it controlling our lives.

now we share a common goal.

to abstain and maintain.

gamcare is a place of solitude, for that I happy to enjoy those ramblings and I hope they help to build your resolve.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Shiny ...

Youre on the last leg now ...and not many more hours in the shop and an end goal in sight....I know you are there today so maybe "back in 10 mins " can be put on the door at regular intervals...be kind to you and no doing extra Misses out of guilt..you are Not Guilty.

It's hard to live in the day when all around is changing and even if folks say its exciting times ..it doesn't feel that way when it's happening..only usually in hindsight but trust in this and you will get through the next few weeks Shiny..

The thing that seems a big relief for you is that you have a place to physically escape to now when you want solace and not into a machine ...

I think that makes a huge difference as like you I had to rely on a few days holiday in a hotel ( with work ) or literally escaping into my head when I lived under the same roof as him.

Having physical space of your own is so so important when a relationship breaks down...even being able to sleep in a bed and relax and not keep a psychic barrier up all the time feels a huge luxury...I guess that's why exhaustion sets in keeping that barrier always up.

Anyhooo...rambling there again...hope that makes sense

R and D xxx

Hi shiny

Your doing fantastically well can't tell you how proud I am coming from someone who's just been through all the stress it causes , your doing exactly the right thing dealing with what you can on a daily basis it's the only way , patience is crucial just keep telling yourself it will happen and it's all for the right reasons

It has to be about you and no one can say you don't deserve it

As always thinking of you

Castle2

Glad you get a lot from my posts and appreciate your ongoing support Shiny.

Agree the analogy you quoted re being a diabetic - good one.

You are going through a tough time yourself but still find time to support others and that says a lot about you as a person.

Hi Shiny,

Reading that last post of yours I could actually see that light. So bright I had to put on shades. Keep strutting darlin. And as always thanks for the lift. - joanxxxxx