Hello day one...

Day 292, no temptations recently, but I have passed a few bookies and reminisced. I missed check in on Saturday, so by Sunday I will be in to the 300s. Checking in here is helping massively, and this time I feel like I have quit for real and I don't plan for a bet or even expect it to happen, but I'm always cautious. Keep up the good work guys

I'm not post in a "why am I such an idiot post again". Unfortunately I gave in to gambling, and spent just over 200 quid. I'm just going to nip this in the bud, one blow out so not the end of the world but I'm disappointed. Anyway, this just goes to show that gambling doesn't just go away, it's always there in the background.

I'm not going to get too stressed about it, I'm just going to move on and not let it get to me. It's a small slip up, where 200 quid is a small amount compared to how much I could/would have spent during my 300 plus days without gambling. Anyway, I'm just going to get back to the stopping.

It's not my fault that I became a gambler, I have to think about what my councillor told me and learn from this mistake.

Never give up giving up.
You've shown that you can put a pretty good day count together.
And you can do it again.
Just don't let the slip play on your mind. And think I'll start next week.
Keep fighting

Hey Dean0...Thanks mate. Yeah, you are right mate its just a blip and I'm not letting it get to me, I probably needed it for whatever reason. Anyway, my last count was pretty good and I intend to do better the next time. Thanks for your comments, appreciate it.

I have not made any effort to post recently, even though I have been gambling on and off. So, what am I doing back here AGAIN?

Well, I recently lost my job and that certainly isn't helping me as I have lots of spare time on my hands. After 22 years gambling, and probably over 30 years since I first became fascinated by gambling (now 38)...

I wish I had a magic formula, or a switch in my brain to make the compulsions go away, but I suppose all I have ever got from other people's knowledge of my gambling is criticism. I am now wondering what I can do to limit my chance of slipping up. Let me know your thoughts, maybe someone has a great money management idea.

Option 1: I am currently thinking about not using my Internet banking, as it is too easy to access my money.

Option 2: The other option is, I send money to another card that has a limited amount of money (obviously this means I still can't stop myself from sending more money to my second card and then losing control).

Option 3: I destroy my Internet banking remote card, and only transfer cash when in the bank.

I am brainstorming, because every time I mess up rational thoughts seem to be a way of dealing with loss. I think I need to get posting on here again, and back in the challenge. After all of this time I though I would be in better control of my life, so I guess I need a job as a distraction and obviously to get me an income after recent redundancy.

Lots of thinking to do, but with no real answers. Thanks for reading...

Ok, I gambled again today and played until I lost around 200 quid. I'm really back in the place I didn't want to be, but I'm back here now. I'm going to have to start posting here again, and going to try and get back on the 2017 challenge.I risk losing everything, which is not what I want, but my addiction says otherwise.

My willpower is at an all time low, which makes me feel weak and unable to put temptation to one side. My negative thoughts control me, when I previously managed to fool myself that I was in control. Why do I always come back to gambling, it hasn't done me any good from the moment I started, when will I e er learn?

Hi thereaper,

One way forward would be to request replacement cards for all of your accounts, and ask someone to open the envelopes for you and scratch off the last three digits of the security code on the back for all of them. This way you won't be able to use any of your cards online.

Also I am wondering if you have looked into blocking software. If not, here is some info: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software

I would also recommend that you start keeping busy. Start planning your days ahead, look for clubs you can join, courses you can take, doing some volunteer work. All good ways to get out of the house in an organised way, to do something new, to meet new people, and who knows, one of these might even help you in finding a new job.

If you need any further advice, do feel free to call the Helpline or the Netline, to speak to an adviser.

All the best,

Forum Admin

Thank you so much for your advice admin, I'm grateful for your help. I'm very secretive about my gambling, especially with those close to me as my parent probably think it's not an issue, or don't realise how bad it really gets and I don't want to worry them. I left my bank card in Wales, and only transfer what I need on to a separate account, but that didn't help, because I just transferred the money to the card and have lost well over a thousand pounds in the last few weeks.

I found concealing helped me, but didn't get to the root of the problem after 30 years or more gambling, beginning as a small child. Today, I had my card and walked through town, with my mind saying have a bet, or I would think about gambling and realised how easy it is to ignore my rational thoughts.

I took some long breaths, trying not to think until I got through town. I tried to rationalise it in my head that, I could go to a bar and get drunk, or visit a restaurant and order everything on the menu or buy a new washing machine. But, I didn't, I choose not to do those things so I can choose not to gamble.

I'm going to look at the suggestions you have given me, with the aim of going back to councelling again.

Thank you, you have been a great help.

Today, I write this heartfelt post that I do not wish to gamble, but after falling back in to the habit I want to do something life changing. My goal, is to do something with my life. Gambling is just so easy to do, I do it, I don't think money has any actual value and I treat it like paper.

The money I spend isn't mine, it was given to me and guess what? Every penny will get wasted, and I will look back and think, what did I do with it? Anyone that had never gambled, will never understand the devastation it causes, and the ease that a gambler will find gambling away every penny that they have.

The truth is, I have never been good enough, or felt good enough. I was in a great relationship that turned sour, and mostly down to me. I wish there was an on off switch, to make gambling go away, but truth is there isn't. I want to stop gambling and be a normal person, but I'm not. I have a talent for drawing, which I am grateful for, and did not him with.

I live a life of regret, and don't appreciate money, or those close to me. I am short tempered, hostile and intolerant but a good person at heart. Greed has gotten the better of me, and I dream of doing better without putting the work in, to do better. Please, can someone join me on the 2017 challenge, encourage me to do better and just be had with what I have got.

I am debating on going travelling, getting on my bike and travelling the world. I even fancy doing a challenge that will bring attention to the fight that is gambling addiction. I could literally pack up my bike, plan a route and cycle to different countries for self reflection, improvement and success, but I choose to gamble instead.

Why is it that gambling seems so innocent, when I k ow that it causes nothing but harm. I can't be that after 20 years, it still hasn't entered my thick skull, that gambling is no good. I'm getting back on the challenge now, and I need some support to do it, I can't do this on my own.

If anyone can help me, please encourage me to post regularly as I'm afraid I will forget to, and get more lost than I already am.

Thank you...

As you have said wishful thinking & grand ideas really wont get you anywhere. Why not actually do something to help yourself. Lots of help out there in real life. Its up to you whether you are brave enough to embrace it.

4 weeks without a bet, finding plenty to distract myself and it's working.

47 days gamble free...

I am obviously not trying hard enough. I have been gambling recently and feel like I'm heading on a downward spiral, even though I don't think I have lost a lot over this period, I won I lost and that's where I stand. When I did my diary last year, I was really doing well, I think I was one month away from going a year without gambling.

Why do you think we gamble? Is it to fill a void, or is there another reason? I am going to do my daily diary posts, as when I did this previously it kept me on my toes. I have also decided not to have access to cash, and I'm even going to change my bank pin, so that I don't know what it is.

I will also try something I have been thinking about doing, which is going to allow me to live without the need for my bank card on me. At the start of each week, I plan to buy a gift card, with enough money for food and petrol at the supermarket, as it's the only place I shop.

For me, it is important to have some safety tactics that will give me a cushion to limit temptation, and limit or even eliminate the potential to gamble.

I'm back...but I never learn.

Today, I will not gamble. I have even decided to find extra work this week, to make up for my stupidity the other day. Unfortunately, they won't make up for all of the years I have gambled.

I have decided that I am going to carry 2 gift cards with me, so that I can get food and petrol and other essentials, and completely doing away with carrying cash or carrying a card. If I need money, then I'll do it by bank transfer. Hopefully this will do when I'm local to my home/work.

Additional, I have downloaded a day counting app, where I can build an unbroken chain of days, which is a nice visual interpretation of progress along with a savings app, where I can aim to build up my savings again, after a recent job loss that helped to push me back in to gambling. I'm nipping things in the bud now, time to get back on track.

Hi thereaper . Sad to see you struggling with the addiction . On a positive note you have had gamble free periods before , you know the recovery business as well as anyone, it's time to get your life back.

Your gift card is a great idea and saves you having to carry money around. Whenever I'd done my brains in I was greatly relieved to have my gym membership paid and the gift card for Asda next door . On one occasion I went 10 days with nothing to eat but porridge and had to clean my teeth with washing up liquid , no great hardship but nevertheless pretty stupid and totally unnecessary. Worked hard all my life for nothing .......wishing you well