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Day 6. Still having a lot of thoughts and feelings about another gamble but I have refrained and I am proud to say I haven't gambled in 6 days now.

well done Matt

stay strong, take care

Stu

Thanks Stu,

It's weird how this forum and just writing it down helps.

Wishing you well with your battle too.

Have to post this morning. Last night I had a dream I had an accumulator on the horses, I of course lost and I felt that sickening horrible feeling you get when you have lost everything.

The dream was very real. It goes to show how deep my addiction runs, I think about gambling in my sleep. Very scary but I am however proud to say I am now 8 days gamble free.

Day 12 and the hardest so far. Constant thoughts of wanting to bet but I can't let this defeat me, today I will not gamble!

Well done Matt. Keep up your strength and good work in clocking up your gamble free days.

Take care.

Feb.

Thanks Feb,

Taking it one day at a time is definitely the way to do it. Big battle ahead.

So today is my 33rd Birthday, I am praying that I reach this day next year without a bet. My 34th year on this earth I would love to be the one that marks my new path to a positive future.

hey happy birthday Matt.

The best present you can give yourself is not to gamble.

stay strong

Stu

So I am now 33 days gamble free. The urges have been strong especially with Wimbledon going on (I bet a lot previously on tennis).

I am struggling financially, paying off these dam pay day loans but I am getting there. I was paid nearly 2 weeks ago and don't have much left to my name but hopefully come Friday the 26th I will feel a bit more like I am achieving something rather than being screwed by Pay Day loan company interest charges. These loans are a real reminded of the blurred mess I created gambling.

Trying to stay positive and look to a gamble free future. I know it has to be done but it is so so hard and a permanent battle of not only will but a disease that will always live within me..

Matt

Well done for contiuing to make a great choice, by arresting your addiction there is one thing for sure, those debts wont be added too, they will just lessen.

Keep up the good work.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Just a brief update...

I have now made it to day 70 gamble free and the world really does seem a different place. I was dreading the football season starting as that was the majority of my betting. I haven't felt any major urges at all yet. I have the odd wave and I nearly walked into a bookmakers to place a small accumulator on but I walked right back out of the shop telling myself this is the top of the slippery slope again.

I have now nearly paid all my pay day loans off and in the next couple of months I can actually see myself having some of my own money in my bank, rather than borrowed money. I am under no illusion that this is just the start of the battle but I feel like I am well on the way to kicking this disease.

My life is slowly returning to me and I hope others can in some way take some inspiration from this post as I honestly thought I was beaten 70 days ago and had no idea how I would ever regain a normal life again.

Take care everyone and remember Today we will not gamble.

Matt

Congratulations on Day70, you must be so proud of yourself, keep up the good work

Jax

Matt,

For some reason, I've never come across your diary... but I've just been reading through some of the early posts. Firstly, it's great to see you've clocked up 70 days gamble-free; an unbelievable achievement given where you were in June. Keep up the good work.

You and I are of a similar age, and your story is a particularly familiar one. I've battled with gambling for over a decade now, and whilst managing long periods of abstinence, my 'binges' are completely brutal. I've lost about £15k in a day before (I'm sure this will seem a staggering amount for some, but perhaps not even that much to others). My point is that's money I just didn't have, and could never afford. I'd spend in minutes what it would take me a year to pay off. Yet, like you, I'd somehow convince myself a few days later that everything was OK... and that gambling was a viable way to get out of the mess.

Did I ever hit a true 'rock bottom'? I'm not sure, although I know I've been to some pretty dark, horrible places in my time. I'm 8-months gamble-free now, and although still coping with a backlog of debt, I know complete abstinence is the only way out for me.

I wish you all the best mate. Enjoy having your own money back in your account, but stay vigilant and focused.

D123

Hi D123

Yeah 70 days was a feat I never thought I would achieve. I was in a desperate mess when I started this and now I have come this far it is almost like the urge to gamble is far outweighed by the urge to get to day 365. I am so happy to be where I am but I am also so angry that it has dominated me for so long. I feel like I have awaken from a very bad dream with a big mess to tidy up.

8 months is a brilliant achievement, if you are anything like me you know it is a great thing but still feel the frustrations of getting yourself in the mess in the first place.

Complete abstinence is the only way I agree, we cannot trust ourselves we know this. I have done over 20k in a very short space of time and on more than one occasion. I have been with PAYPLAN for about 6 years now, my debts with them total over 60k and it is all through gambling....ludicrous. My recent debts were with payday loans but I also spent my wages every month chasing lost earnings.

Next month all my pay day loans will be clear and I will at last have my salary to spend/save etc. This has all been a long time coming. The way I see it I have lost 10 years to a disease but the next ten years could potentially be the best period of my life. This is a huge target but taken day by day I hope is achieveable.

Stay strong D123 and thanks for your reply.