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day 583

Had a fun weekend. 3 BBQ's on the spin at mine and plenty of beers and good times on Saturday night with my friends.

Sunday the folks came down with my brother, his GF and my Niece, always great to see her. Had a rather bad hangover from the Saturday evening but that didn't stop me putting on a BBQ for everyone :-).

Monday I met mf GF's best friend for the first time and I was given a resounding thumbs up, so that is a good test passed.

Tuesday back to work with a letter on my desk. I have been given a bumper pay rise for my efforts this past year. All this gamble free stuff has freed my mind to focus on my work and the rewards just keep coming.

I have also been in the process of complaining against some payday loan companies with the help of the Financial Ombudsman. It appears I will be getting refunds on all the horrendous ammounts of interest I paid. I won't say figures on here but it looks like it will clear all my remaining debt once paid and resetting me to where I should have been if I hadn't been leant the money to gamble and get into further debt.. Amazing result.

I am a firm believer in fate, everything happens for a reason and my gambling recovery has led to some fantastic things and they keep coming. I hope everyone on here can get their lightbulb moment to change their lives around.

Matt

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Matt - It's taken me a few days to be honest but I've read your story from start to finish and I cannot praise you enough.

I'm sure we are all going through different stages of our own battles when reading this but it's truly an inspiration to read what you have been through and how positive and loving you have seemed throughout all of the cr@ that has been thrown at you.

I noticed a strange thing (I think) in that you've barely mentioned the money apart from one reference that stuck out on this last page. I think it's a testament to how focused you've been on sorting YOU out and then the rest will come. A lesson for me definitely as I've been struggling to focus and think of anything BUT the money that is now gone.

Good luck for the rest of your future and I'm sure it will be a happy one. Take care.

Hi All

Appreciate the posts as ever.

Samba, I am a little overwhelmed you took the time to read my whole story. Long old read these days and I am sure not an easy one but I was as honest as possible about everything I went through.

The money, yeah I guess I never really did mention it. My attitude was what's done is done I cannot change it and each day I don't bet is a day richer. We CANNOT win when we gamble, pretty simple really. We cannot stop because when we lose we chase and when we win we think we can stop if we get to X ammount fundamentaly we lie to ourselves and everyone else to fuel the addiction.

The figures of debt have been crazy in the past. Over 15 years I dread to think what it totals but it is irrelevant now because I am a stronger man for it and you cannot put a price on the experience that I have gained. I have no shame anymore, I understand myself and where my urges came from and basically half improved my self-esteem to know I am a good guy who's made plenty of mistakes but no longer has to be held to ransom by them.

I wish you all the best in your recover Samba and will keep an eye on your diary.

Matt

Day 592.

A week since my last post, crazy how quick it goes! Very busy with work but it is going very well. Having a mind clear of gambling has enabled me to fulfill some potential in all aspects of my life and I am really seeing that now.

A year ago I wrote

Day 228

Saw my Niece yesterday which, as always, was great. Finding myself getting very used to an independant single life now. I do still miss the companionship but life is moving on.

Yesterday I sent my Mum a bunch of flowers for absolutely no reason, much better than wasting and losing £50 quid on a bet. Stupid thing is, the stakes I used to bet with, £50 I would have considered small. This time the money bought my Mum a lot of flowers and she loved them.

Life is precious, stay strong and stop gambling, it truly isn't worth it.

I will have to do that again next week, my Mum helped me through some tough times in many ways so doesn't hurt to remind her of that.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Matt

day 603

So I have managed to get past 600 days without a bet. I feel free, I feel like I know myself and most of all I feel happy knowing that whatever the future throws at me I will be able to handle it all and some!

Stay strong everyone

Matt

Nothing else to say but amazing!! You have been a support and a huge inspiration to mysrlf and many others, happiness more than deserved my friend Sx

600 days top effort Matt, it’s great to see you doing so well and just goes to show it can be done. You’ve been to some dark places but know your standing proud out in the sunshine. I couldn’t be more proud of you.

If you haven’t read Matts diary you should it’s very inspiring

KTF

Mighty Matt is rocking on ~ relishing recovery

Inquiring mind ~ heart of oak ~ a journey of discovery

Courage, hope, integrity have carried him along

With honesty and humbleness he's learnt what's right and wrong

DAY 609

Thanks to all my old friends on here seeing me to this point and stopping by my diary with their words of encouragement. Sharon and Stephen I appreciate all the words you offer I really do, you are great people.

Oldham I remember a long time ago looking at your diary wondering how the hell I could get to 600 day which you had passed. Scary looking back sometimes and realising what was indeed achieveable. You helped me set the ball rolling so a big thanks to you as you hurtle toward 1000 days!!

Keep going everyone, life is for living not gambling.

Matt

Wow. Do not have the words to describe exactly how I feel after reading your journey from start to finish today. I feel overwhelmed and have hope that you have overcome what you have. Things seem really bad for me at the moment but after reading your story I know I can achieve what you have if I put my mind to it. Congratulations on turning your life around, you really are an inspiration. Your story has given me the strength to continue and be as positive as I can. I hope one day I can have a diary that can reflect yours. Thank you for sharing your journey and all the best.

day 613

Claire, welcome to Gamcare and I wish you all the best in your recovery. You have made the right start by admitting your problem and trying to find a way to break free from the addictions ***. I am by no means the finished article but for you to read my diary and draw some hope from it really makes me happy. If I can help one person to be inspired to recovery it will make it all the more worthwhile.

I have just returned from a 3 day business trip, to meet some friends and customers who have been there for me. Things are going tremendously well with work and I am leading my company from strength to strength. I feel a huge sense of job satisfaction currently and this would only be possible now I am free of gambling.

Anyone who takes the time to read my diary I really appreciate it. It has been a hell of a road and I have gone through some extreme emotions but today the overwhelming one is happiness. Gambling you nearly took me from the world, gambling you nearly broke my spirit and resistance but gambling I am stronger than you and I hope others will be too.

Matt

Just had to search for your diary, I was thinking about how open I've always found your diary and wanted to check in, also I am around 200 days behind and hope it always stays like that for us both!

Great to see the updates you have posted and keep well, congrats on the growing company too by the way

Hey buddy ! Keep it going 🙂 good job !

Sars