Hope to All! Be Truthful.

Days 23-26 now done cheers for the tips folks greatly appreciated! Had a really busy few days at work worked everyday no chance to gamble through this! Coming close to month now gamble free and booked a short break,only £65 each for the flights with the wife to Spainfor a few days ! The joys of having abit of cash again! One Negative point-i Still feel I can't be trusted with money! Luckily the wifes keepin tabs on my account which is keepin me on track! If I get caught itl be the end! I must fight this and will fight this! Stay strong folks!

Day 27&28

Well Sunday and Monday working 13-2200 shifts

One month now gone! But boy what a surprise today popped him to recieving a letter regarding a PPI claim if put in! 12 years back when we brought our first home we believed we took it out due to being on very poor wages and worried our newly brought home would be took off us if we lost out jobs through illness Ect! Although we only paid i think it was £40 a month for 2 years i was Gobsmacked to recieved a offer of £3200 today from them! Inbealiveable really due to paying in around 1k! My wife is over the moon and thrilled we've had a change of look for once! Only the gambling front It's been a really hard month but ive been finding it easier with having no access to cash.i must get focused again though! Not been coming on here every day like earlier in the month and must get back to this to keep myself on Track and to talk to others! Keep strong all.

Days 29-31 Tuesday-Thursday- always the hard days in my life Rest days! Stuck at home bored on my days off while the wifes at work trying to resist temptation to gamble. Said on day 1 I must keep myself busy on these days and have in fact spent the days working for a friend. I Earned myself £150 and After pickin up 2 flights to Palma last week il be using the cash to enjoy the break! the wife chuffed and she's over the moon with the bit of extra spendies! 31 days is an achievement but knowing I went a year clean free before relapsin means I must continue to focus fully!The 3 days away will be a well earned break we both deserve. keep focused folks we can beat this!

Day 32- good day at work worked an 8-5! No chance to gamble Straight home curry and a few tinnies! Worked out finances with the wife and seems this month Iv saved £40 From the £200 I have left after debts are paid! What a feelin it is to hand the wife £40 towards Spain next week! Iv 50k worth of debt which was b4 joining the forum 67k yet I'm happy to save £40! It's part of or battle folks! In just under 2 years from now if I do the same as Iv done this month my wife will be collecting an extra £490 due to my £340 per month loan and £150 cc being paid off hopefully! The Debt amount total wil be then 34k down from the original 67k! We can do this folks! Only 8 sleeps to my weekend in Spain also! Can't wait!

Well done pal, you're getting that debt down at a good rate! Be proud of yourself and don't forget to treat yourself now and again as well. I'm not jealous one bit you're off to spain in a week!!!;)

Have a good weekend bud

Ryan

Hi will

Thanks for the post it's much appreciated ur doin so well and it's showing financially for u and also the life u av worked so hard to turn around is now gettin all the rewards u deserve

Enjoy them

Take care

Castle2

Day 33 steady day on Annual leave spent with the family and took my son with me to football so no chance to gamble what's so ever!

Day 34- where do I start! A bad bad day! First time in weeks Iv had money on me and yes I did it! I was told to get a flyer from work, It was raining and as i left work to hit the gym i walked past the nearest you no where no one was in the shop and I did it I entered the place a quick bet placed a quick £10 won i put the tenner in the roulette machine won again within 10 mins winnings gone plus my £20 or so quid! I headed back to work immediately to grab my £50 or so spare quid I had in my locker before heading straight back! By a 1000-1 chance I crossed to re enter the shop my wife's best friend pulled up at the lights! What chance was that! I jumped in gettin a lift

to the gym! I got there and did nothing but think about the hitting the shop! WHY! my wife will give me money if I need it and if I'd won I can't give it her or use it as shed known I'd won it somewhere! Im not going back to day one as Iv already replaced the small amount I'd lost but I'm going into the shop Tuesday to exclude for sure. I could have lost £70 today and then almost certainly I'd be back chasing to replace the money! I can't visit the shop tomoz but Tuesday I'm going in 8.30 on the dot to exclude! I still as stated in my diary earlier that I have a credit card of which £1200 can be drawn on! I can't get rid as I need to balance transfer next month on a large card iI still have but I'm going to put the exclude in place! As far Im concerned it's day 35 tomorrow and I carry on with my diary , it's not a loss today because theres no cards or bank accounts involved but I must exclude! Today showed how easy you can loose it be begin chasing! The machines are rigged for sure theyre gettin worse you used to enter the end of the day and win quite often,now it seems they entice you in let you win but you us addicts just can't walk away when up! Im giving the loose money to my younger sister for safe keepin for a night out in aug with her! We are all in the same boat, gambling addicts now I know cannot have money! Stay strong folks and take in.

Day 35- At work working a day shift! No chance to gamble! Big day tomoz/now today!

Will my friend, as your diary is called, be truthful!! You gambled and you've talked yourself into thinking it was alright because you didn't lose much. I'm absolutely gutted to read that, my heart sank and I hope to god you haven't had any more slips!! You've been a constant source of encouragement on here for me and I'll never forget that. Go back to day 1 mate!! See it as a challenge! You owe it to yourself to be completely truthful and accept it as a slip. It happens to just about everyone so don't beat yourself up. Did you self exclude?? Keep me posted mate

Ryan

Hope you're ok mate, been worried about you. Get in touch pal, the site isn't the same without you! 🙁

Ryan

Wil,

I hope all is O.K. We are on a journey for life and sometimes we will slip up but no matter how many times that happens or how hopless our journey may seem we can never give up.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Tomso.

Hi wil

Always remember we're in this together no shame on this site , hope ur doin ok

Castle2

24th April 2012- seems a few light years ago ! Day 35 I think I hit! Well things started that day and I hit the sad trail again of deceit! As always football bets and horses had never been a problem I have never ever put on big stakes in that area,from day 1 the problem as always been the roulette machines! Well from keepin a day to day diary on here I disappeared altogether and with that the hopes of Stoppin betting went out the window! From April to 14th dec 2012 my life went back to the dark days of sleepless nights taking the dog out on walks to the local bookmakers and trying to cover my tracks of taking Money out joint accounts and hiding statements!

I did it I gambled and again 8 months of my life down the toilet! Turning point - i was caught out a few weeks before Christmas we attended a Xmas party and my wife had entered the venue,i popped of to the cashpoint to draw some money and I ran into the nearest you know where across the road to place a football bet! I turned around and my wife was there stood there! She had watched the previous 5 mins of actions and I done the worst thing possible betrayed her trust! She stormed of took my lad and went home! Finished,done for I didn't know what was coming next. It was the longest journey home ever - We sat down and she told my son what a waste of space I was I was forced to tell him the definition of gambling and what I had been doing -a dad talking to his 9 year old on gambling issues was the worst moment of my life! The following weeks it all came out! The true accounts of months of gambling !

My wife because she believed I had conkered my demons gave me my bank card back in the may and from that the £10 and £20s football bets turned into £150 days on the roulette! I had rackeded up just short of 2k by the time she had found out I was back gambling in dec!

I am now 3 months free from gambling again, like before I still have masses still to pay but the only way I'm doing this is by having no access to cash what's ever! From Dec My wife has checked the banks every other day and picks up all my statements that drop through the door!

I feel this is the only way to combat gambling addiction if i have cash you only want more and If you little cash you want to generate some! I know that I can never carry cash around! Do I still want to bet? Yes I do but I know I'm on last chance scenario so I'm working with my wife this time and every time I get bday money or cash i hand it over! This is my diary and I hope people do read it from day 1 years back! Im back on here as I believe there may be a few persons on here that are probably or have been in a very similar position! Keep battling folks we are all in this together! Its a addiction like smoking we are fighting and must work on this together!

Will.

Fella good to see your name back and to read you have had a period of abstinence. I have lost count of the folk who posted regularly when i first joined the forum who have fallen back into the cycle of gambling.

What counts is today and the choice we have to make.

With the blocks in place i know it is made easier and from this i hope the outcome is you get to like me enjoy recovery.

Abstinence delivers this for me.

I did win because i did stop.

Again glad to see you back. I hope others can learn from your honesty.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Dunc! Much appreciated! Just spent the last hour reading my own diary from day 1! Debts from the beginning I racked up was around the £67k mark!

£1700 a month goes in my bank at present and after loans,cc and bills are paid I am left with £140! Upsetting I know

It should be £1000 without the gambling Debts! The main thing is I keep on track! I keep talking to the wife daily and pointing out cash issues! It does get on her wick I think but the moment she lapses on I dread to think where this may lead!

Big 8 months ahead now I've got 8 payments left in a 17k loan and That then frees up some cash into the family pot! £140 then becomes £500!

The noose around my neck is steadily loosing !

67k down to around the 43k in 3 years it will be by then!

I am reading diarys daily and while we are all in many different situations some in minor debt some bigger than mine! I am posting again to show that although Iv £140 from £1700 take home pay to last on I'm happy and healthy again from presently being gamble free! Take care folks stay strong!