Hope

Day 139 gambling free.

Well this is unusual I seem to have been the last one to post last night and the first one to post this morning. Ive been up with the larks..unusual for me.

Yesterdays gym session has kicked in.. my limbs are rather achy today but am looking forward to another gambling free day.. they soon mount up. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA what an early bird you are, I am a night hawk cause just going to bed, been on nights ugh!!!

Thanks for posting on my diary, I am looking forward to my spar day, not for 4 weeks yet but something to look forward to.

Hope you get your achy muscles going, have a good weekend, Stay strong, Best Wishes Bandit

Day 140 gambling free.

Am not having a good day today. Feeling depressed. Not especially doing anything constructive..eating and half-watching tv and idly surfing the web. Eventually thought i'd better go out.. exercise usually lifts my mood. Went to the pool only to discover i'd forgotten the swim kit. Came home and then couldn't be bothered to go out again..even though it was such a nice day. Resumed eating and watching tv.. to do the washing up seems such a chore. Its definately woe is me today.

Havent gambled though so thats always positive. Regards to all who read this.. S.A

Day 141 gambling free

Its felt like a steadilly improving sort of day. I was full of angst and annoyance and miserableness when I got up this morning. However as the day has gone on I have slowly started to feel a little better. I think being constructive and busy at work helped..some issues got sorted today..to an extent anyway. After work i enjoyed a gym session and a sauna.

My life feels so topsy turvy in recent months..my emotions seem to be all over the place..happy, sad, angry, depressed. Just got a go with it I think. Difficult emotions are no reason to gamble. Gambling is a choice. I was just unlucky enough to stumble across gambling something that seemed to take the edge off life while in action.. a way to avoid life if you will. My gambling was a reaction to my life...but the consequnces were far worse.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA, WOW a very big one, you are well over 100 days ahead of me, thats just great please keep it up.

You are so right that gambling can be a reaction to your life, if things are going wrong, at work, home or whatever we can all use the gambling to get away from it, we can use it as an escape, I know I did cause when I was in there playing the slots time stood still and the only thing on my mind was what the reels were doing.

Well done, keep going you are an inspiration to us all, Best Wishes Bandit

Hi Bandit.. thank you for your thoughts.. as you say.. time stands still.. life stands still when gambling. My recovery strengthens but very much one day at a time. But today i do feel strong in recovery.

Something that has really begun to sink in albeit gradually over time is that, it doesn't matter how angry or sad or lonely or frustrated or happy or elated or confused or tired I maybe... none of these are reasons to gamble.

Gambling on emotion I think gives no reason to stop.. When i have gambled in the past because I felt lonely.. i got relief from that feeling when in action.. but as soon as i stopped gambling the loneliness came back together with the new problems i may had just created.. which in turn made the feelings of loneliness even more intense and so the cycle continued.

Logically it makes sense.. what would be my motivation for stopping????... to return to my loneliness???.. i dont think so lol. My emotional brain hijacked my logical brain every time.

However this is the past I am happy to say that i have reached a point in my recovery where I am able to cope with my emotions (what ever they are) without gambling. I have felt quite angry about things recently and also depressed as well.. but this is no reason to gamble.

Anway I wasnt planning to write much this evening.. sometimes it just happens. Today has been a good day.. I intend to make tomorrow a good day. Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

My last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.

Am just checking in. Another day passes gambling free. No thoughts or urges. Am o so tired today. Many hours of looking at a computer screen and using my brain.. it happens occasionally lol

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

My last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.

Day 144 gambling free.

No urges or thoughts of gambling. Its been a steady day and I feel stable in myself.

I had a nice walk before going into work today.. then a coffee and read the paper. Normal everyday things which never happened when i lived in a world of work and gamble, work and gamble.

Onwards towards another gambling free day.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Really pleased for you SA. Don't stop posting you're an inspiration to me.

Regards

SteveE

Well done SA, can really understand what you mean about having a nice walk and doing things leasurely, thats not the case when gambling, I was always in such a rush, trying to fit in an arcade between something, keep strong, Best Wishes Bandit

Thanks Stevey and Bandit for your thoughts..always feels nice to get a bit of feedback. 🙂

This morning I look like ive been dragged through a hedge backwards. I look in the mirror and I have tired eyes and pale skin and I think I would not look out of place sitting in a pile of potatoe peel lol

Talking of rubbish ive also found myself looking through my rubbish cos I wanted to find the tesco clubcard deal leaflet with a code for 6 million billion extra points if i spend £50 or more online.. and guess what???.. I found it!! 🙂 However it ran out last week... so now i look like ive been dragged through a hedge and smell like trash lol

As you maybe able to tell.. despite everything am actually in quite a good mood this morning.. gambling free of course.. day 146. Regards to all who read this and have a great weekend.. S.A 🙂

Dang, I had just finished writing out my begging email to you for some Tesco club points LOL.

Another chance of being a multi-millionaire slips through the fingers...ahh well back to the bread & water hehehe.

Going fabulously SA....last bet 25th of May, trust you do realise this was also the day Celtic were crowned Champions of Europe, back in 1967. First ever British club to do so, a great day indeed..all the more reason to remember it and celebrate SA.

Another milestone fast approaching so I am sure you will keep the barriers well in place and make sure you achieve and more.

Stay safe by staying smart.

Hiya S A

Thank you for the website :-)..yep indeed the calculator would appeal to my anorak tendenacies (that give me a larf) unfortunately when I logged onto the site my gamblock blocked it. I think I have installed the superdouper version, can't even get on the to gambling commission government website. Ah well.

Glad to see that all is well your end.

Del xxx

Hi SA you sound on good form toay, shame the old Tesco card had run out.

You are doing really well, hope you have has a good weekend and that you are feeling good, hey by the way dont look in the mirror if you cant handle it lol, Best Wishes, Bandit

Day 148 gambling free.

After a few days of positivity I seem to have sunk into a bit of a depression today. I am functioning and doing the every day stuff but all i really feel like doing is lying in bed and stare at the ceiling. Just one of those days I suppose..just feeling a bit sorry for myself..didn't sleep well last night so perhaps that is something to do with it.

No thoughts or urges to gamble though.. so thats a blessing. Regards to all who read this. S.A