Hope

lol at badit saying empower.. hehe i cudnt imagine having no electric hun.. that must have been awfull... candle lit is supposed too be romantic tho 🙂 i guess with you just being in the house alone not much fun lol 171 days wow!!! and as for xmas thats what im normally like xmas eve getting everything in o*g never again... i dun and dust with the basics and thats all down too not gambling tc hun shell x

All this talk of food is making me hungry..lol.

Hope your well SA 🙂

Del xxx

Day 172

Thanks all for thoughts and yes Del am thinking of food right now... what to have for breakfast??? .. toast or weetabix?? mmmm

All is well... slept well last night.. feeling very alive this morning. No thoughts or urges to gamble. I intend to make today a good day.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Hi S.A.

I slept well last night after my wife took over with the little one. First time I have had a good sleep in weeks. Today should be a good day as I only have a few hours and I'm home (hopefully). I'm intrigued as to your counting of the days. For me I feel if I count I'm anticipating the next bet. Not saying that you are as we are all different.

Take care mate and enjoy your gamble free day.

Steve E

Thanks for your feedback Steve. I have been giving this some thought. I count I think because it motivates me to see it written down and simply the act of writing it down reminds me of how far I have come.. taking life just one day at a time. Its also since I found the gambling free calculator on problemgamblingguide.com.. pop in your last gambling date and hey presto the number of days, hours, minutes free from gambling is displayed.

Having said all of this.. alot of the literature does say that counting aint really a great idea because as you suggest it can set oneself up for a fall. I have travelled this road before. When i was writing a private diary I counted to past 1000 and then fell... self-esteem took a bit of a battering going back to day one. I swore that i would stop counting but here I am again counting away.

Anyway, conclusion: I think I shall revert to what I was doing earlier in this diary which is a statement at the bottom of each post saying when my last gamble was. I think that that could be a happy medium between counting days and not counting at all.

I also remember when i first came to the diaries and would find myself reading the last few pages of others diaries that were maybe hundreds of pages long and think to myself.. How long have they been off gambling?? cos its not always clear and I wanted to know without having to be a detective... thats just me i suppose.

Anyway, regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble was on the 25th of May 08

Well done SA, I too have given up counting the days, it seemed pointless after my slip ups so just going to keep reading and posting, know in the past when I have tried to stop I would have 1 slip and then be right back to where I had been. This site and reading is helping me to keep on the straight and narrow, shall we say with an occasional divertion, Bandit X

Hi SA thanks for your post, have you tried the chicken noodle from batchelors, it is Brill think that is another one of my addictions lol bandit x

hi cant view the calculator lol... gamblock blocked the blooming pop up i get sick of it sometimes... fine when you cant log on bingo etc but other things such as free play game sites really does my head in sometimes abyways take care shell x

Hi S A

hope you are well . i'm with you on counting did it for a bit then start thinkin of a reward cos id done well so put that one to bed . I like you and prob's most poeple 1 day at a time and never look back .

Stay strong hope you have a great weekend

Paulxx

Hi All,

Well another day dawns gambling free. My legs ache today.. over did it in the gym.. 10.32 km's in 60 mins and lots of aerobic machines. Thing is I han't been to gym for a good few days. Its amazing how quick ones fitness levels start to decline when one stops exercising.

Anyway not much to say really..just checking in, like i do..off to meet a friend for coffee shortly and also to buy a new phone.. am gonna get a decent one. Now that I am not gambling I can afford to do this and that feels good.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Nearly forgot... last gamble: 25th of May 08

Hi S.A.

I hope you don't think I was being rude asking about counting days. It's just that I thought I was missing out on something. I genuinely can't remember the last bet and don't want to. I know I'm in a good space right now and that'll do for me. We have to do what works for us so tell me to mind my own business (LOL) if you like.

Stay strong and keep posting.

Steve E

Hi SA, dont't know which to say well done about first, the number of gamble free days or the distance covered in 60 mins. Most impressed with both!! I once did a 12k run, took me 2 1/2 hours and I was pleased with my results, I feel embarressed now.

Did you get yourself a new fandangled phone? They are so high tech now, it took me a week to work out how to send a text message and make a call. But you are young, so it shouldn't faze you. It must be nice to be able to choose to buy yourself something that you want rather than something that you need. All your hard work is paying off, in more ways than one. Hope you have a good week, look forward to reading you views and thoughts. Opps! nearly forgot, this weeks veg is globe artichoke. All is well on planet Ostrich, take care, love Ostrich x

Hi ya Ostrich and all,

Yes I did get a new fandangled phone and ive just about worked out how to text and phone.. thats enough for now. Over time am sure i will learn how to use more than 1% of its capabiltiies lol

Must admit it does feel nice that I was able to go in and choose the phone that i wanted without really having to worry much about the cost (thanks to being free of gambling). I had done some forward planning. I am with tesco mobile and what with the money off vouchers and taking advantage of another offer they had running.. it is a quality phone that didnt actually cost me a huge amount anyway.

In the past i would have accquired a mobile.. a friends cast off. Alot of the time it would not have had any credit on it. How things are starting to change. I have some new clothes, lots of pairs of shoes and trainers, several leather jackets and instead of getting my hair cut at the cheapest hair dressers in town I can now go where ever.

Dont get me wrong. I am not gloating. I am saying this for my benefit really a compare and contrast. I am in my thirties and yet have never really had nice things. i went through my teens and twenities looking like i'd been dragged through ahedge backwards. My priority was always to squander my money on machines or get drunk. Its only now as I get older and wiser that i am starting to wake up to real life.

I have no reason to go back to gambling. reagrds to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th of May 08

Blinking good luck to you S.A. you deserve everything and more you get from your recovery for the sole reason of how much time you take to respond to new people logging on.

I can relate to what you say in your previous post and like you I'm enjoying myself having extra cash to hand over at the end of the week. Please believe me I don't begrudge a penny. Without my wife I would be gone now I'm sure. I'm not dependent on her but very grateful.

Take care

Steve E

Well another day passes gambling free. No thoughts or urges to gamble. My day has been fine. No problems or issues at work. Now its not very often I say that lol. I am proud of the fact that i stuck with my job despite the emotionally traumatic times I had over the summer.

Old behaviour would have been to jack the job in when the going got tough and then panic once unemployed with a bank account in free fall. That would have put my recovery under pressure that and all the free time I would then have had to structure. But not this time. Better in a job than not in a job especially in current climate I think.

I am learning to face life's problems and not to seek shelter in gambling.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble: 25th May 08