Hope

Hi S.A

I totally agree how appalling this situation is with Ukraine and Russia. There is so much pain and suffering with the people involved. I'm sure there are lots of Russian soldiers too that are against having to carry out this so called military exercise.

It's unbelievable that Putin is carrying out such atrocities all because he fears NATO being a threat to his beloved country. The suffering that Russian citizens are going to endure over the coming decades will also be horrific. 

You are absolutely correct when you refer to Putin as a psychopath. He can't have one ounce of sympathy, empathy or compassion when being responsible for all this destruction. I would love to believe that he doesn't sleep at night but I doubt it very much. Like yourself it makes me so so angry.

Watching all the refugees fleeing for their lives and leaving partners and husbands there to fight is soul destroying to watch. 

It has certainly put my life into perspective and has given me so much gratitude for such basic things that are more than often taken for granted. 

Kind regards 

@sb28 

Hi

It is very sad with the great suffering in Ukraine.

When we are able to heal our pains we can also feel for other peoples pains.

In healing our self and having empathy for our self, only then we are able to have empathy for other people pains.

The is how the healing of recovery works, in sharing our self and our pains we start to heal those pains and also reduce our fears.

In feel angry at the injustice are we also reminded of the injustices in our life.

Today I am able to have empathy for myself and every one else, yet if we take it on board can we allow our self to be  filled with our fears.

The serenity prayer helps me understand I can have empathy but to accept I am not able to heal their pains or reduce their fears.

A dictator Putin or a bully are the same kind of person, they are very unhealthy inept inadequate insecure fear filled people. 

Such unhealthy people will transfer their pains fears and frustrations on to other people, that is what they do.

They use fears to control people.

All of my problems seem so much simpler today, now I know for sure that the world did not change for my benefit because I was in my recovery.

If the world did not change for me then what did.

I do not react in such unhealthy ways, that my pains are being healed, that my fears are being faced, that my frustrations are being drastically reduced, I am no longer the loner and isolate myself, and because I am so much more productive I have  no time to be bored.

Thanks for every one sharing their experiences.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

Thanks both.

Iv'e been to the dentist today. He looked about 12 lol

Anyway to cut a long story short. I can have a bridge on the NHS to "bridge" the gap of my missing tooth... total cost... £600 on the NHS or have an implant done privately (not available on NHS) for circa £3000

Now I could afford the 3k, (thanks dad) but do people really pay 3k to have one tooth replaced?? It would give me my smile back, but 3k??.. the bridge it is me thinks.

Ive just been asked to do the night shift. I says no.

Thanks for listening

@s-687 

Hi

In my recovery going to the dentist has been less and less fear filed.

When the options happen I have asked myself the question how much do I value myself today.

Am I holding back because I feel guilty from my past.

I have had both bridge work done and recently a tungsten steel screw fitted.

And had a tooth fitted this last week.

Was there some pain and discomfort a little.

But in the old days I would procrastinate about getting it done for myself.

How much do I value myself today.

To not hesitate getting things done which are healthy for me.

There have been many people who held back from dentist doctors because of fears.

Is it fear based holding back, is it lack of self worth.

How much do I value myself today, a I fulfilling my needs wants and goals today.

I should not feel guilty for looking after myself.

OR put a price on how much I am willing to spend on myself.

Love and peace every one.

Dave

Yes I hear you and agree. But lets not beat around the bush. Alot of compulsive gamblers don't go to the dentist simply because they don't have any money. That's been the case with me for sure.

Yes I am starting to value myself. Iv'e spent 2 years smiling with my lips and it would be lovely to be able to smile with my teeth. bridge work here we come. I hope he knows what he is doing. getting the tooth root out won't be easy. after 2 years the gum has almost grown over it. I will keep the world updated.

Iv'e been for a long endurance run today. Glad I took my woolly hat. Really cold wind. Did I enjoy it though?? yeah it was ace, pushed myself to a new level, knowing that I didn't have to save some energy to go to work. Am gonna really take advantage of my work break to see how far I can push myself and to do the sub-4 hour marathon later in the year. That's the goal.

To any Ukranians reading my thoughts. Am with you all the way. Fight like lions. get the Russain's out of your country!!

Thanks for listening.

A day in the life...

Was up at 6.30 a.m frying some diced beef which then went into my new slow cooker with some casserole vegetables.

I left my home at 7.40 a.m for what turned into a mammoth run. Arrived home at 10.05. I must surely have done at least half a marathon. bath breakfast and then a lie down assuming I was gonna feel pretty f****d for the rest of the day. But as it turned out, not the case. Tucking into beef casserole for lunch and then out for a swim/sauna/jacuzzi, walked both ways. Unfortunately I ruined the healthy eating regime by having a macdonalds milk shake and then family bag of cheese P***s from asda. came home and then polished off the remainder of the 3.5 litres of beef stew lol Am now over full and feeling fat.

Just watched some telly. Still feeling angry about Putin. I will make some sort of donation to a good cause.

No gambling.

Thanks for listening

Check you out!!!

With every sentence  I read, the bigger smile appeared on this mug! Thank you as you were the first to accomplish  that in days! (OK OK...I was a bit cheeky in gym passing few smiles today lol...woman's  day after all!)

Seriously,  so great to read about your day. Mc'ds? Are ya kidding man? Thats the first I ever heard from you and I think that made me even more happier! You sound on even keel now...you sound like you're  taking  life on its offer and enjoying  everything you can.

Good on you man, truly good on you and most importantly  - you so deserve  it! Impressive  run along...I found it very difficult  to complete  5k today...it wasn't  even straight  run..it was walk/run/walk and taken me 31min...ah well, I guess I just exhausted  my  body recently and simply  had to take it steady.

Back to you...

KEEP ON KEEPING  ON SA! 

Well done on new found you ?

Enjoy  and don't  let others get you down

S&B xx

@s-687 

Hi

Nice to see you are making more healthy choices.

Putin is a very inadequate inept insecure person who is very unhealthy.

Now thinking Putin Hitler who is the most unhealthy person.

He is transferring his pains fears and frustrations on to the people of this planet.

He is a control fear who has lost the plot.

Now I will get off my orange box and be quiet.

Glad your are making more healthier choices.

I am sure the milk shake was for the hurt inner child in you.

Perhaps you both needed it.

Enjoy your life,

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham

Hi SA,

Just checking in, don't visit these diaries as often as I once did.

I can't watch the news, it's just heartbreaking. Weirdly, though, since I accepted I struggle massively to cope with my fairly normal own life and shouldn't feel bad for not being able to give much energy to this stuff, I have gone from strength to strength. I think people who know what vulnerability, fear and instability feel like, feel these things very keenly. Ironically, we are least well-placed to be of help, until we rebuild ourselves to a decent level of resilience first. I get you, though. It's awful to watch feeling so powerless.

Are you still enjoying those runs? I jogged for 5 continuous minutes, last week. Heartrate finally stabilising after thyroid nonsense.

Hi

For me watching the news was very unsettling.

Now I have empathy yet I do not have so many fears in me so I do not take it personally.

How ever it makes me aware of how fortunate I am today and how little I have to worry about.

Having my healthy normal own life I am fortunate I took my recovery seriously.

Being able to ask for help was a powerful move for me.

I have both hope and faith in my healthy recovery today 

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Thanks for your thoughts folks. Thought i'd better check in.

Tired and achy today.. bit depressed as a result. Did my half marathon Sunday. Enjoyed it lots, but it was a struggle. Warm sunshine not good for distance running. Didn't get under two hours. I wasn't expecting to to be honest, its was quite a hilly course and am just too heavy and lets face facts... not fit enough. Gonna try and lose some weight by giving up sugar in coffee. Iv'e just had a cup minus the sugar. Yum yum lol

My mum got covid while I was visiting. Not from me I would add. She tested positive the same day I arrived. She not very well, but not in hospital. I will go down if things get worse. I did enquiry about picking up some shifts but nobody got back to me and am currently not motivated enough to push the issue, cos am not desparate for money.

Nothing much else i want to say. Hi to all. A swim and sauna beckons. Its a hard life 🙂 x

@s-687 

Hi

A swim and sauna sound very healthy to me.

Enjoy it,  you deserve it.

Dave L

Thanks GaDave

I must admit I am struggling a bit. Am sure many people would be slightly jealous to be in a position of NOT having to work, but the trouble with not working is that it highlights the fact that work has been such an overly large part of my life.

I feel like I want to acheive something "for me" before i go back to work. Am looking for something but I don't know what. Whilst its lovely to get up and potter around and wonder down to the village have a  swim and sauna and chat with folk. Whilst its nice to be able to buy "stuff" and not worry about bill payments or debts.... I then think to myself... what next?? I am an empty vessel, a lost soul bobbing around in the ocean going nowhere. I really don't know what my purpose in life is, other than helping others and now am not even doing that.

I am now starting to feel guilty for not picking up the phone to sort out some shifts and yet at the same time its depressing me the thought of doing so, so I don't do it. Work structures one's life, don't you think? Ya go to work, get tired, go home rest and then do it all again without thinking about it, cos you don't have to.. thats what society wants... obedient workers

Am trying to enjoy my freedom, but today am struggling. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently.

Thanks for listening.

P.s I watched "Tinderswindler" on Netflix. What a psycho that fella is, no empathy, no nothing and yet able to seduce beautiful women and con them out of tens of thousands. How different we all are.

Hi

For me I use to struggle in so many ways.

For me it was and is today to keep both focused and motivated on getting things done.

To write down my needs wants and my gaols.

At my begging I use to be so jealous of so many people.

For me feel guilty is living in the pains of our past, not living fully for today.

The series on Netflix after life is brilliant.

My freedom and being able to interact is healthy for me.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Feeling better. My melancholly has lifted. The big questions of life have melted away for now. Just taking each moment as it comes. Just washed my bedding and done some hoovering. Off down the pool now.

Thanks for listening