Hope

Another day dawns gambling free.

Am just tired today..its been a long week.. my emotional rollercoaster with work continues..hard to switch off. In a way I am pleased with myself though.. I did my bit to the best of my ability.

Its just hard I think to find that work/life balance. It takes a good 24 hours and more for me to be able to switch off from stuff.. and then it starts all over again.

Having said what i have said i do get good self-esteem out of what i do, for the most part anyway. Its well suited to my personality I think. I keep going.. taking life very much one day at a time as always. Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

Last bet of any kind was on the 25th of May this year

Another day dawns gambling free.

I am having a lazy weekend..unshaven..pottering around..probably spending too much time lurking in cyber space but its not gambling related.. so I can forgive myself for that.

Perhaps I should be picking up the phone and arrange to meet someone for coffee or lunch or something... but I havent. I feel quite happy chilling in my own company today. No alcohol drunk this weekend so am feeling particularly alive and settled in mind and body. I like this state. Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

Hi Starting again

i have been reading alot of the threads today - as had a bit of a lapse - lost a bit in the bookies- those bloody arcade machines - enough to give me a reality check. Reading your threads - you are doing exceptionally well - i have only managed 4 weeks - not serious damage done though and i feel reading the forum and peoples efforts and support re- focuses.

I understand where you are coming from re people only being interested in themselves - do not make the effort to listen to you - only interested in themselves - you have to rise above this. However you are wise to this - they may think they are better than you or more important - but they are the fools. Your comments and observations on the threds are appreciated - sharing our thoughts keeps issues to the for front of our mind

keep up the good work

thanks for your comments in my originally post, sorry i did not thank you before

cheers

daveco

HI there SA...many thanks for your message. Absolutely no problem in not having read my diary before...really has grown too big. Also badly titled as I slipped after 49 days and started again...so no longer my first attempt !! However I chose to keep it as a whole, have read back over sections a few times. I find reading others diaries has given me both inspiration and ideas...no two people are alike, therefore our recoveries are all different. But we can learn from one another.

For me anytime I'm feeling a little down, I simply put on some of my fav music depending on my mood lively, relaxing whatever soon picks me up. That or chatting with friends, there is ALWAYS someone worse off than yourself and from chatting with others you tend to hear real issues which allow you to put things into perspective.

Your going well mate, a nice part of the world too so hope you carry on posting here. I found my diary to be invaluable to me.

Thank you for your thoughts Williebhoy and Daveco.. much appreciated as always.

Today is 3 months since I last fed a machine with my hard earned money. Today is 3 months since I last had a gamble of any kind. Today is 3 months since I stepped back into self-destruct. Today is 3 months since I chose to ignore lifes problems and escape into gambling. Today I choose NOT to gamble.

Taking life one day at a time as always.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A 🙂

Last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.

Well done SA on the 3 months - it is a real achievement and you should feel well pleased with your efforts.

Of course we all have to remain vigilant against this disease BUT i am sure you will and here's to the next 3 months.

Well done mate

Tiodaat

Hi SA. Just wanted to stop by and give a big congratulations on 3 months gamble free! I know it hasn't been easy at all for you. You've really struggled sometimes with the emotional side of things, but you're still here, fighting hard, and taking each day as it comes - that's a lot to be proud of. And, I'M proud of you. 🙂

Lots of love,

Anna

Thank you Tiodaat and Anna for your support and yes I am proud of my acheivment.

Its been a good day.. work went well..and then to GA this evening which was also a good meeting. Regards to all who read this..S.A

Last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.

hello SA...

Rodders 'e*e....

just a quick line to make sure you're okay and doing well.....on to day 66 and no pangs yet....we'll see?

no stories on my diary for tonight but tomorrow will be a good one....can feel the urge !!!

anyway sense of humour? intact and ready to go.....there's still a party in me head...lol

Rodders

Good stuff rodders on your 66 days! 🙂

All going well with me as well. Today has been a good day even though the dentist was at work on me.. good result though.. a nerve removed from a tooth.. now it can rot without me feeling the pain 🙂

All fine on the not gambling front.. no urges or vague thoughts of gambling.

Am just back from the gym... 8.22 km's in 50 minutes today... am pleased with that. Of course now that i am home I am eating like their is no tomorrow lol.. pate sandwiches folowed by a whole malt loaf.. a pint of juice and various other assorted nibbles from the fridge..ah yes a scotch egg..I like scotch eggs.

Am off for a family visit tomorrow..back sunday.. unlikely that i will write in here while i am away.. though dont forsee any major problems. Now that gambling is behind me (one day at a time) visits are relaxed and enjoyable... no money stress.. no worries that neices and nephews will ask me to buy them something and i wont have the money... no worries about finding the train fare... no worries about not being able to buy a round if we go to the pub.. and no need to have to put on a front and say every thing is "fine" when of course it was obvious that it wasnt.

It will be a visit to relax and enjoy time with the family and all being well to dip the toe in the water 🙂 Regards to all who read this.. S.A

Last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year

Hi SA

Glad to hear that a trip to stay with family can finally be taken without fear or trepidation. I remember getting invites to parties and thinking "when is it?" - "is it close to pay day?" - if not, won't be able to go cos i know i'll have lost all my money by then!!

It is so reassuring to hear that when we do finally stop gambling - simple pleasures that are free - become so much more apparent. Good on you SA - enjoy the break mate.

Tiodaat

morning matey !!!

Rodders 'er....

ouchhh mate..feel yer pain, hate the dentist!!! I went out with a girl who was a dentist when I was younger...until she pulled one of my teeth,,,soooo painfull !! never seen her since mate!!! cow...

Just posting to say...have you noticed in yourself, how much time you seem to have when you're gamblefree...not for yourself but for other people???? isn't that sooo rewarding!!!...and I smile a lot more.....

just how foolish have we been mate!!

Rodders...catching you up!!

hi

yes rodders is right - i have done all my house work - very boring I know! but not thinking about the near missess of the horse being beat a short head or an accumaltor going down in the last leg - or fretting about the lossess for the week from casinos etc - still have a few hours to spare to be bone idol - lovely -sun in shining although i hear a storm is brewing - waking up earlier - sleeping better - less fear and worry - seems like a good day today -

keep well - and keep the humour going Rodders - when the black days come i know your threds will bring a smile

cheers to you all

daveco

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.

Just a short post this evening. Am back from family visit...all is ok.. I remain gambling free and no thoughts of gambling.. tooo tired to say more but just checking in. Regards to all who read this.. S.A

Last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.

Another day passes gambling free.

Am still feeling tired from trip to see family but no doubt a good nights sleep will sort that out. Whilst i enjoyed the visit and felt pretty chilled out during my stay there was a moment where I was reminded of my gambling past.

We were having a meal and the topic of running came up to which my mums husband (not my dad) started talking about the london marathon and the time he had run.. to which i was then asked about what time i had run in the race I had been in a while back. Now the thing is I never ran the race.... because the day before instead of booking myself into a hotel.. I went straight to an old gambling haunt and squandered my money. Of course I was immediately on the defensive.. said something about I didnt know what the time was because they hadnt sent me an official time in the post bla bla bla..damaged time chip bla bla...lies.

Just goes to show that a gambling episode from months ago (my last gamble) can come back to haunt one..to haunt me. I hate lying.. I hate it in others.. i hate it in myself... I consider myself an honest person except when gambling comes along and then I lie to myself and I lie to others.

I think what I take out of this is the need to be on my guard.. not let complacency come in the side door.. keep in touch of the consequnces of my gambling and what I become when I gamble. I continue to take life very much one day at a time.

Regards to all who read this.. S.A

Last gamble of any kind was on the 25th of May this year.