Hopelessly addicted to gambling

Hi Balfour,

Welcome back and well done for the strength you found in yourself to put this merry go round to a stop. Then we get gripped by the devil, it's claws always feels stronger than our weak body and mind. Really pleased you gave it a huge kick and set urself free from those chains.

It is not easy, i feel your anger, devastation and loneliness you feel at the minute..

Leave losses behind, nothing you can do about them now. Start again, slow and steady the fog will lift my friend. Well done for finding the strength to go to GA, of course it might feel dounting for you at the minute, but i'm sure all the folk in there will understand you. Same as here, no blame..only understanding and support we all receive. Be proud my friend, keep your head high!! You broke the cycle, admit the loss and carry on. The only way is upwards, don't feed the devil with the guilt, isolation and stress. Just stand up and make the move. For the better all the way.

Day at a time

Stay safe, calm and keep the belief going. Only you are the one in control, and you are moving to the right direction. Stay strong

Sandra x

Hi Sandra thank you for your kind words they have helped a lot. I'm 100% sure ga will help but the voices in my head still tell me to gamble. My daily life is on repeat at the moment, earning money but losing it every day. Keep on convincing myself about crazy systems that would work on the fobts but in reality the only system is not to play these machines. The gambling devil certainly has his claws in me at the moment.

Break the cycle dear friend. Give that little extra and set urself free. Dont put ur future on the line. It is never too late to change things around.

Contact gc advisers, they are really helpful and understanding. Work your way out of this mess..slowly, little baby steps...don't turn back. You are worth much more than misery and guilt in your life. Dust urself down and come bk fighting.

Stay strong and keep posting. Get it all out of your system, dump all the poison and become stronger!! You can do it!!!

S x

Day 1 complete, been thinking about what a ****** I've been over the years and how much money I've lost. Nothing I can do about that I only wish I stay strong and don't gamble. I see they have put ridiculous new warning systems on the fobts for when your doing your money in them as if u already didn't know. The bookies say 1 problem gambler is 1 to many, limit the stake on the machines to £10 max then and I for 1 would be instantly cured. £10 stake is not enough for me wouldn't even bother with it. They won't thou to much money at stake, they pretend to care but all they and the government care about is getting the millions in they make from these evil machines. Fobts have nearly ruined my life along with thousands of others but apparently there's no evidence of this!!! w*****s

Hi Balfour

It is easy to vent your anger at the gaming industry as it takes away the responsibility that lays at our feet. I feel your pain too as I was once in the same amount of debt. I struggled to come to terms with where I was in my life. I didn't really like myself for some reason. Today I accept myself even though not perfect it is OK to be me. I have recently cleared off all mt debts and now feels a little strange to have nothing to worry about. I struggled to actually pay the last £150.00 as it meant I was losing part of me, can't explain that part at all. I now have a weeks wages in my pocket and it is surreal to think I owe it to no one. I have booked holiday and getting home improvement done but these are "normal" things which "normal" people do. Being part of the human race ain't so bad after all. Get on board Balfour and enjoy the rest of your life. You are punishing yourself for one reason or another.

Take care

Thanks mate, I know I'm responsible for losing my money in these machines but the opportunity to play these machines needs to be stopped. It's like saying drug dealers are not responsible for drug addicts and shouldn't be blamed. The gaming industry doesn't care, people who work in bookies have told me when people smash the machines up they are told to not call the police as they don't want the publicity just to let the person out the shop.

I am not looking to get into a debate about who is to blame but you need to get yourself into survivor mode. At present you may feel like a victim this needs to stop for your recovery to move forward. You are now on the side of the winners and a survivor. Get surviving and leave those FOBTs where they belong. They will be there forever until something else takes it's place. You have two choices self exclude and stay away or jump on the merry go round to nowhere. I know where I prefer. Try and stay strong just for today take care

I hear what your saying mate, day 2 is now over. Onwards and upwards

Well done Balfour! Move forward in your recovery and enjoy every day for what it is

Take care

wow , I cant believe how much what you have been through relates to what I have been through and what you describe seems to be the way I think. the sad thing is for me I just love roulette but hate it and myself after I have lost. day 4 nearly over for me this is a bit weird as im talking like a drug addict how many days ive stayed off drugs but lets face it gambling , roulette or otherwise it is a drug. anyway sorry this is your diary and is about you not me although it might be good to relate. I get what you say about the gambling industry they should defo take a lot of blame , but on the other hand if we cant control ourselves me included as soon as we start to play to much we should stop then and get help but we don't so really we are to blame aswell , although I hate to admit that myself. I really relate to you with the fact that you thought you could up with a system when betting , its unbelievable how many systems I came up with when playing roulette, but always lost in the end as I could not walk away when I won, as always thought why not carry on and win more , then when I lost I also could not walk away again as I would then have to chase my losses loosing then more . I have also spent thousands in just over 12 months over £40000, online betting mostly , I once spent £1800 in 10 mins that was the worst time of my life very low and confused , then they froze my account that just made me angry , but now im glad they did , although have still found a way to gamble scince , don't get me wrong its good to get this off my chest but why im replying to your diary saying all this is just to let you know your not and havnt been on your own , and lets get one thing straight in your blog you wrote , your sad life , you havn't got a sad life and are not sad you have just got an addiction to gambling and that's all it does not make you any less of a person , just affects our lives in a bad way which is why you me and every other person on here needs has to stop for our sanity, familys, future , finances ect... and also not to give those greedy casinos any more of our hard earned money. what that other member said though is right , you must self exclude yourself from every bookies casino and online casino you have ever been in , delete all emails from them when they offer you anything except self excusion , and ask them to self exclude you from any company or site linked to them , I wish you well and you can be a winner and make these gambling places loosers by not betting anymore, not sure when your GA meeting is or was but hope it went/goes ok thanks simon

Hi mate, basically were the same I reckon. I can never stop when I've won, once put £50 in online roulette got it up to £2800 and lost it all in less than 2 minutes (£800+spins). Found it surprisingly easy not to gamble on the football yesterday but probably because I have a couple of debts to pay this week and literally have to pay them. The real test comes when I have spare money but I have to learn to put it in the bank and take away the temptation. Hope your recovery goes well. Keep in touch

First post .....I've had this problem for around 8 years now but only admitted it around 3 years ago I don't know why I do it I have a lovely caring partner and the two best kids in the world so why? Today is day 2 after losing everything and crying to my partner like a little girl again on the 28th I'm now another 1500 lighter and the lowest I have ever felt wondering how to pay the bills. I didn't gamble for thirteen months got myself in really good shape by becoming addicted to running instead done the great north run and finished 750th out of over 50,000 a great achievement for me after training hard we became fine financially for the first time ever and were doing well on the run up to Christmas then one Saturday morning two weeks after the run whilst at work I went into the bookies and put 300 on city to beat Fulham out of nowhere sure enough it lost welcome back ste the gambler you all know what from October until now has been for me so I won't bore you with details. My partner is sticking by me again even after I told her to take the kids and go because they are better off without me and it will only happen again she said she is scared to leave me because of what will happen to me and it will also kill the boys. I have become somebody I'm not and somebody I hate I have no friends anymore really I'm telling lies to my sick father and destroying everybody around me I think if I got hit by a truck right now it would not even hurt that's how empty I feel anyway going to go back to ga this which is amazing for your recovery by the way as that was what made me do 13 months going to try and find that addicted runner as he's a good man who doesn't lie or hurt people and is happy with the perfect little life he has got.....thanks.

hi balfour , ye weird I defo click the same way as you , and when I have no money my addiction , does tend to diassapear abit , I have a 4500 credit card bill , which is to be honest for other stuff , but if I had not gambled I would of had enough money to buy the stuff without using the credit card, im a t*t , but anyway slowly paying that off , starting to have a little spare cash so really can add a little more each week /month to credit card , just hope I do and don't use it to find another godforsaken online site , how did your GA meeting go ? don't worry if you don't want to discuss it that's fine , seriously though I hope once you've sorted your urgent debts , you can keep it up , there is a saying on here which I keep seeing a lot I think it is something like this [ I cant gamble because I cant stop ] or it might be [ I cant win because I cant stop ] so basically there in no point you or me gambling as we are guaranteed to loose as we will if gambling always carryon once started until we have lost all winnings and all max losses that we can afford for that day and probably loose more on top , so what im trying to say is don't gamble mate as in the long run if you do its a guaranteed loss , so its pointless don't do it . And forget what you already lost try and look at it this way , me I worked out on average although it was depressing to work it out , but I worked out I was loosing about £1125 per week on average sometimes more sometimes less and if up would always loose it within a few weeks , But my point is , that means if I can go 2 weeks without gambling that means I will have £2250 more than what I would of had if I had of gambled, 3 weeks £3375 more by not gambling and so on... ironically I was spending much more a week than I was earning , so don't know where it came from half the time ? but if you get me forget what you already lost but kinda work out what extra you now have every day or week by not gambling , thinking this way might help abit to stop you gambling ,you can do it your not on your own , don't give up , one last point , as I bet online I was obviously on my computer most of my life , the good thing is being on this site , your still on a computer a lot of the time even if not writing your own post but also replying to other people or just reading there stuff , which kinda fills the computer part of the habbit if you know what I mean , but without spending a penny. my only thought is to carry on not betting I may have to stay on here permenantly we will see , anyway good luck , don't forget while you not got them urges get self excluding ring them up email them ect... that legally have to oblige

Hello people, day 5 is over still no urge to gamble but I have no doubt it will return after I've sorted a few things out in the few weeks. Have to find 5 grand in 6 weeks but it shouldn't be a problem. Hoping it will make me see sense how much money I've been gambling and how much money I can have for the future. Went on holiday for Xmas and new year but had to lie to people to borrow money because I gambled a

all my spending money, and yet I still gambled as soon as I got back. 36 years old at the moment so getting on a bit, want to be debt free in 6 months, then start saving for a deposit for a house. But taking 1 day at a time for now. Hope everyone keeps gamble free