So, it's now the 4th day I think (decided to quit Friday and it's now Monday).
​Friday morning, after a long hard talk with myself most of Thursday evening when I lost literally my very last penny, and its a 5 week pay month! I decided I cannot go on like this any longer. I shouldn't be living hand to mouth each month, not seeing that I live at home and obviously my outgo should be very low, so I should be able to buy mostly what I want, when I want and keep saving to get the new car I want and need before long, and saving for a deposit to buy somewhere to live.
​My problem is boredom, and that my Mum makes me feel like a piece of cr** most days I see her, and thats usually 5 days out of 7 because I work in the same place and department as her unfortunately. I am 30 years old, younger of three children, and the older two have families etc, and I am quite often made to feel like I am the failier because I don't have a partner or children, or really good jobs like my silblings, I'm not the book smart one lol. But aside from my Mother, I have people I know, I play football for a team, yet I have the lack of actual friends, actual people who bother with me. I have one best friend, who is my ex, who is 30 years older than me, but he's always there for me. I am sort of starting to make friends at work, but it's a group of ladies who are late 40s and upwards, which is fine of course, but I kind of wanting friends my own age. That's difficult when you hardly drink though, and then when occassionally going out presents itself, youre too skint to go out because of gambling!!
​So I have identified my problem area to why I gamble and cause myself a bigger problem.
​I really need to focus of the things which made me happy before I became like this, and the truth is is the friends i made online via George Michael website and fanbase, photography and football. I bought myself a new camera last month, and started using it, football starts again in September, and well George Michael, I need to try and get in contact with those who came to my 21st birthday in London and who are George Michael fans and re connect with them.
​Saturday night was an 80s night locally, ladies I mentioned above contacted me via fb and invited me up. I ummed and arghed, and forced myself to go, they dressed up in Frankie Says Relax tshirts, so I got my choose life one out and my george michael mask, I went and had a great time! I saw my football club chairman, we had a laugh, and he has since invited me out with him and the other lot any time. And also has been talking to me via fb, makes me feel like I have a friend right now, it feels good as we are having a right laugh over stupid stuff.
​my best friend who I mentioned above, has offered to loan me money (in cash) so I can go out next weekend and socialise. He knows I'll pay it back at the end of month as I've done enough over time to pay my bills and him back and sort myself out this month, so I think it's becoming more clear that I do want stop and want to change my path in life.
Hi need2change,
Welcome to the Forum. I hope you get lots of feedback by other members here.
It sounds like you are at a place of being ready to make a change and you started being open to bringing people into your life. It’s not easy dealing with things on your own and it sounds like gambling is one reason for being isolated, as it leaves you with no money for socialising.
Well done for taking this first step by posting here. GamCare provides a lot of support and advice so I would like to encourage you to get in touch with us and speak with an advisor. It can make your journey to recovery easier if you get the right support.
I wish you all the best,
Forum Admin
Hello need2change
Firstly, well done for coming on here and opening up. I always ummed and arrrghed about coming on the site, but its a great place to vent and speak to people in the same position.
I think the fact you've identified why you gamble is a great starting point, as you can start to attack this directly.
I hope you can beat this demon!
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