Hello to whoever reads this.
I have been on here for 6 years, before my little boy was born and not much has changed for me.
Granted, the amounts I have lost on line and the frequency have decreased but I am still a secret gambler and have just managed to lose £730 in the bookies in the space of 45 minutes, not on the roulette but the slots, with the new hi-roller spins this is easy enough.
The story is a familiar one i guess, built up a nice amount over the last 6 weeks and kept winning until today, had a jackpot last week but clearly that has gone, never my money really was it and I need to write it off. Just a couple of hours ago, straight after my loss, I was trying to deposit online to get some money back, fortunately I have blocks in place that prevented that as I would likely be here typing how much I had lost there.
I think this is time to say enough is enough, but I have said this before.
The feeling of losing is still very raw and the mount is obscene, I have a 5 year old but and a wife who know nothing about this problem, I have debts of about £7500 and am determined not to add to these, we have a nice house and some savings so why do I want more, shall i tell you why? I like to feel that I have cash in my wallett that I can spend without using my salary, crazy eh, its cost me a fair few quid, the last few weeks have been great to have an amount of money I can use without going to the bank but that has all gone now. I will take a positive that I have not got myself into any debt due to this episode.
I think I am just dissapointed with myself to not have moved on in 6 years and still be here typing another diary, I know I have to want to do this and I question if I really do at this point, I am excluded from local bookies but the one I went in today (and last week!) obvuiously didnt care about this!.
Thanks for reading, I am going to try my best to leave the slots alone this time.
Take care all
Doggy.
Hey g-doggy.
Youve hit the nail on the head, You actually have to want to stop and you also need to tell your partner.
Ive been gambler for around 10 years now, im 28. Ive had debts into the thousands, told family member countless amounts of times im going to stop (just because thats what they wanted to hear). Then 52 days ago I decided this is it, i gave my bank cards to my girlfriend, self excluded from every online site i could think of and things are falling into place.
You will never win, we never do.
Yesterday was a bad day, today seems worse. Not gambled but cannot get the thought of feeding all that money into a machine out of my head. I guess it's something I need to get over.
We've all been there. I usually find my worst losses have come after my biggest wins. Then all the what ifs start playing around your mind. You need to stop, give your cards to a friend and let this last episode blow over. The red mist will disappear and so with the remorse. There is no point adding to your anxiety. Take it easy
Thanks for that. Feel terrible at the moment.
Yep westsider is right, hand your cards over to someone else as this takes the urge away. Try and occupy your mind with something else like go to the gym, read etc. Those thoughts will eventually subside. It took me about two weeks to get over my final losses.
You may feel terrible now but feeding machines with your hard earned cash wont solve it as "you wont find happiness in the same place you lost it". I am currently living off this motto and it helps me anytime gambling crosses my mind.
Good luck pal!
Thanks Bop. Not left the house since Monday. Feel incredibly depressed and wonder how I will get over this. I won't gamble but need this sickness in the pit of my stomach to go and to find some peace again. в№пёЏ
It will go, do something to occupy yourself. Thats not your money no more, and know matter how much you try you wont get it back.
With a bit of will power and a good structure in place we will beat this addiction!
Will power I have!!! Been feeling really sorry for myself since Monday. Time to take responsibility for my actions and realise it was never my money and that I cannot win because I cannot stop.
Yes thats the attitude!
Feeling a bit brighter today. Back to work and some normality. Not gambling today.
Thanks for responding to my post. I don't come on here everyday but finds it helps. I know this is not easy but I thik patience is so important. As gamblers we want to put it right straight away and it seems the only way to erase the feelings of loss, pain and guilt is to win back the losses. Try to imagine where you will be psychologically and financially in 3 or 6 or 12 months time if you don't gamble again. Do something today that your future self will thank you for. Don't gamble! Best of luck and keep going.
I won't be gambling today as much as the temptation is really there. Been a big part of the last 6 weeks building that pot up! You are right. I want to feel ok now. Going for a run later to get some good feelings in me! I am not in a terrible situation financial wise so not really sure why I have been so fixated lately!
Time for some honesty. Gambled all week. Lost 490 in about 20 mins yesterday. That's 490 debt this time. However, the good news is I am now self excluded from all the bookies in my area. Multi self exclusion is easy to do. Feel a bit happier somehow despite the loss.
Feel incredibly anxious and my usual response is to ring in work sick. Stay in bed and lick my wounds and be depressed for days. Not doing that today. Facing up to what I have done.,moving on and being proud I have finally excluded from all the shops. Could be the best 490 I ever spent. Have a great day all. Will post in a few day says with a further update.
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