I am stronger than I thought!

Hey char. r u ok. ive just got up to date with ur diary. what a brave woman u r. u should be proud of ur self for what u have been through.

what ever u decide babe whether u decide to leave this site or stay on it i wish u best and hope u stay safe its been an honour to have spoken to u on chat many times. il miss our chats on this site when i make it on to the chat and il miss our good laughs we have as well. it wont be the same without ya.

But if u dont mind me saying it sounds to me that leaving could be a mistake. im not judging u cus u know id never do that but it sounds to me that u need all the suport from this site babe and quite frankly this site needs u 2 hun. u talk bout wanting to play the machines thats natural babe i still think bout the machines when im in the pub and look at them im worse when im drunk mind u though lol. i also think to my self y cant i play on them and then i remember the destruction i did whilst gambling the lies the deception the debt i got us in nearly losing our home and possessions. i drank more while gambling char took lots of drugs as well suffered from depression lost alot of weight and just generally looked like s**t as well with not sleeping properly. the question i ask my self do i miss it sometimes thea answer is yes i do miss having the odd flutter but i dont miss what the odd flutter leads to and thats the pain.so u thinking bout it char is only natural cus u wonder why u cant just have a couple of quid dont ya.. it will be hard char but it honestly gets easier in time.what do i always say think of lil maddison she'll be so proud of what ur doing:) just as u say how my girls will be proud of me 2:).

i was hoping chat was gonna be on tonight been busy all week thats watching footy lol and playing footy lol. if u ever wanna chat or ought char u il give ya my e-mail so if theresever a time u need cheering up as u say i cheer u up 🙂 just send me a message im always checking my hotmial for things and that. or theres facebook if ya use it. or if ya P***** off and ya wanna let of steam then im hear to listen. my e mail is [email protected]. and on facebook. im jimmy sear. like i say its there if ya need it hun. anyway enough of me blabbering on. whatever u decide u take care and be safe xx

Thanks everyone 4 being there and supporting me. U r all amazing, kind caring people.

Red , Thanks... I think u r an amazing person , I have a lot of time and respect 4 u. Also I love our drink talks lol 🙂

I have not gambled 2nite 🙂 2moro I will be 50 days gamble free! I am going thru a really bad time at the moment... Monday is going to be a hard day for me and I guess i'm just finding it overwhelming after next week I should be back on track.

U have all helped me sooooooo much 2nite thanks . U do not know how much.

2nite I took Maddison out in her pram 4 a walk and I hate walking lol... but it cleared my mind. She is fast asleep now she does not know how she keeps her mummy going, she means everything to me. I looked at her 2nite in her pram, I would die 4 her and I am not going to ruin her life by gambling.... I WILL reach 50 days 2moro!!!!!

I am going to catch up on some diaries now and post back 2 all of u that have supported me thru the good and bad. U r all amazing... I can't thank u all enough xxxx

Hello again Char,

Thanks for posting on my diary, you have been so amazing and helped me get where I am today and I really appreciate it.

Well done for not giving in tonight that is brilliant so proud of you it's good you chose to take Maddison for a walk is a good way of forgetting the urges.

50 days is brilliant and something to be proud of you have had a really tough few weeks I just hope things start to get easyier for you.

Keep going stay strong.

Shaun x

Oh mate, I have just caught up with your diary. I am so sorry I wasn't around tonight to support you but am so happy to see that many did.

Char, you have been through so much recently but gambling is not going to resolve anything. I am so proud of you that you talked about how you were feeling on here and allowed yourself to let people help and support you, just like you do for them.

That, my friend, is progress indeed. When you look back on this period, you will feel so proud of yourself that you stayed strong and continued the fight!

I had a long chat with my ex about everything tonight.. it was really honest and I really opened up about things. We are not getting back together, that was never the intention, but I needed him to understand this addiction the way that I understand it now. It was good. It was what I needed.

Another corner turned for both of us I feel, hey? God, this is one, long, old ride!!!

I really hope you're feeling better now and once again, well done for coming on here and talking about how you were feeling.. proud of you!

Lmm xxxxxxxxx

Hi Lotte, I'm really glad you're feeling better. After dredging up all the past as you did a few days ago, as good as that was, you are bound to feel a little drained and emotional for a short while or at least I would. Glad you're still on here, 50 days is a great achievement you should be proud. I hope you get through the next few days ok, I'm sure you will because you're pretty tough but nonetheless it'll be tougth and require courage. Good luck and well done on going for that walk, I too am not too keen on walking at the moment for different reasons, I'm walking like I'm pisssed and had an accident because of my dodgy legs, gangs of kids now chase after me throwing stones and hurling insults. It's enough to make me cry. Take care, keep smiling, Steve.

Boy o boy am I happy happy happy !!!

First off lovey I am sooooooo proud of you for fighting the good fight last night and being victorious, knew you could do it :))

Secondly, massive congrats on your day 50, what a fantastic achievement :))

You are one seriously determined, strong, and inspirational young lady, you sure show us oldies up, oh to be young again and do it all different , I would takes more than 1 leaf out your book :))

Charlotte, you have made my day, and your strength has strengthened my resolve to never gamble again :))

Enjoy your 50th, a.m.a.z.i.n.g. !!!

Loud and proud :))

Cameron

Really well done on getting thru yesterday evening and not gambling that was brillant and congratulations on day 50 u deserve it your so supportive to others

I knew you could do it char, give yourself a massive pat on the back. It so difficult to change learnt behaviour but everytime you resist those urges when things are tough you add another piece of armour to your tool kit to beat this.

Be very proud of yourself you focused on what was important to you, you said it in your post your beautiful little girl. A big massive congrats on making day 50, How good does that feel eh ?.

Keep going char, if you know you have some tough days coming remain focused and think about yesterday and how you beat the urges.

Blondie day 53 xxx

Hi Charlotte,

Thanks for your message. I really appreciate it. I am going to stay close to my diary this time.

Congratulations on reaching 50 days:)

I hope that you have a good day.

Take care

Dave

Just flying past Charl to drop off a big 'congratulations' on hitting the 50 mark. That's fifty massive days of saying 'no' staying strong and saving cash. It may not have been an easy road to travel but take a look back and see how far you've come. See all those people along the way clapping and cheering (use your imagination girl), those are the ones you helped and supported. You're a winner and every day you choose not to gamble, despite how you feel, you'll keep on winning. Now look forward and plod on. Life itself will have moments of pain and chaos but whatever happens don't let it take you back along that road which you've just courageously trodden. Take care, Steve.

Hi Charl

I have said it once and I will say it again, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, I know you can achieve anything you set your mind to, I hope you realise that soon, well done on the 50 days and just start believing!!!

John

Evening Char,

Firstly, a massive congratulations on 50 days! Well done girl.. came through with flying colours even in the most trying of cases sometimes!!

Secondly, you are far from worthless and you deserve as much support as anyone. You have learnt over the last few days alone, that you can always come on here and air your thoughts without the fear of judgement... that is what is so great about this place!

The next few days may be tough for you, but at least you know they are going to be tough and you can prepare yourself as best you can. You know now that gambling will only ever make things worse and I'm so happy to hear how determined you are once again.

You will get through it mate and you will come out stronger for it... just may be a little bumpy that's all.. but hey, you're getting used to that now! 😉

Seriously, just come on here at anytime and say whatever you want and you will ALWAYS be supported.

Enjoy your evening buddy xxxx

Thank you for you post on mine, you have a big heart and certainly DO deserve help and support. Very well done for your 50 days hun. x

Morning Sweetheart,

51 days by the time you read this. Big fat gigantic well done. None of this is easy , look back over you shoulder , you can see the pot holes and the obstacles in the road that you have traveled. Many a poor soul would have thrown in the towel but not you , kept right on going through thick and thin.

Sad to hear you are in for a tough couple of days, but if there's one thing this old fairy knows, it is YOU young lady, have emmence strength and determination to go through it and come out the other side with your recovery intact.

Just try to deal with each thing one at a time rather than looking to solve it all. Like a jigsaw puzzle, break it in to pieces and slowly turn each one into the right direction and the join it on. ( if you see what I mean)

Big hugs for you sweetheart.

Dusty xxxxxxx