I can feel the earth begin to move I hear my needle hit the groove

Okay... deep breaths ! I will come out of my reclusive stage and join you on the countdown journey.

Phew thats going to mess with my anxiety... commitment ... Yikes ! If you pull yourself up, dust yourself down from this life experience then I give you my word to follow and support with all honesty a long the journey

Change wrote:

Uncertain outcomes - you've put into words the feelings involved in a relapse. Devastating. It's something I need to stop doing or it's pointless trying in the first place.

I don't think I have the strength to go through it again. I need to stay extra vigilant and avoid all gambling.

Sorry to sound harsh when you are still hurting but staying strong & extra vigilant is not enough...Change is required! If you go on kidding yourself that willpower & determination will see you through, you are going to have to find the strength to go through it again! Dig deep now & get proper support, looking through a GA workbook is not enough, get to a group, go to your GP or call GC for some counselling that fits in round work & your little man. You have so much going on in your world that you have to be strong for & it's clear to me you are not gambling for the money (or you would have used some of it to replace your worn shoes), it's purely as escape & there are other ways! You're obviously an intelligent man, you can figure this out but avoiding gambling is only half the battle, you have to get a better outlet for your stresses for you & everyone you care for - ODAAT

thanks for being there for the late night catch ups over the last 300 days. try and keep your current positive outlook and work at the challenges ahead and will be enjoying a pint or 2 at the christams markets come December but obly with a gamble free change.

KTF

Change theres been a change that i've been witnessing in black and white in your postings.

I read your initial first entry on this diary and saw the strength. Respect.

Big Sam or possibly Eddie is gonna need the little fella up and running soon. So keep up the preogression Change and keep remembering Rome wasnt built as quick as they thought it was....

Kudos for your thread on 'overcoming'

Hai Change,

You've not been around for a while. Yet, im a sure in one way or another that your still on this quest of self discovery.

Jumping away a here a little, but remembered a post you sent to me regarding work. I forever look at boss's I respect and ask them whether they took there work stress home. I've had many a good answer, one of my favourites is that if every day, you can say to yourself that you've tried your best and focused on the job ahead, well that's all you can do! Critism is easy, pressure is part of our society but what really matters is you and yours...

A ramble, but take care

Cheers old buddy :)) . Do you know I was only thinking the other day I needed to have a catch up with you , miss the late night chat's and giggle's around here but thats prob because I try not to stay up too late these day's , I'm getting old and the bright light of my old laptop keeps me awake , LOL !

I see your not far off that 1st century me old mate and I have faith in you that you'll smash it this time , just caught up with a couple of posts on your 90 day challenge and I have to agree with the last comment about leaving it all behind you in order to move forward , It's a must mate , it's taken me many , many years to work that out so don't think I just rocked up here one day and decided to quit for good , I've got a good few years of soul searching on you and I'm so proud of you for picking yourself up and striving forward , I think if I had come here years ago I wouldnt have been ready or as strong as I am now .

Your gonna do it mate and I'm gonna be there to witness it my old friend :))

I hope your well mate and that little man of yours is getting stronger each day that passes ?

Keep on keeping on as they say change and no matter how long our pitch is , we'll reach the goal eventually !!

Proud to be walking alongside you buddy , thanks for the congrats , youv'e helped me get there along the way .

Love to you and yours xx

Thanks Alan - you're always there to pick people up when they fall and I'm so proud of you... you've done amazing. The little guy is doing really well now. He eats my wife's fish pie and shepherd's pie - soon he'll be able to eat one of your battered fish and a few soft chips with mushy peas. I can't let my past impact his future so got to keep the faith. Onwards and upwards.

Great to hear he's doing so well :)) Mumh ? Fish pie / Shepherd's Pie , what time shall I come around LOL !

You can bring him round for Fish chips and mushy peas anytime buddy , it would be my pleasure :)).

Yeah , your so right , how much of what we do can affect the later life of those we love , I think deep down that's what stopped me doing the unthinkable , the thought of my son and daughter having to deal with the awfull legacy I could have bestowed on them .

It's a great focus for you to have my friend , you won't let anyone down least of all him and as you said " Onwards and Upwards "

Night mate , love to all your end :)) xx

Morning me old mucker :))

Someone told me there's a bit of a bash going on today somebody's made it to the Century club ?.

Made up for you mate I knew you'd get there because youv'e never given up trying and that's what it takes guts and determination and youv'e got that in bucketloads Change :)).

I just wish you'd had me round to organise the party coz you know how well things go for me come celebration time on here Lol .Anyway huge congratulations old buddy on a well deserved milestone , you should be so proud of yourself :))

So that's it now then , no looking back just onwards and upwards to you next milestone , hope you enjoy your day mate and as always , deep respect and love to you and your's :))

Al xx.

Ps I'm expecting some Oscar worthy reflection speech by morning, lunchtime at the latest, ( no pressure at all ) !!.

PPs If you need a few pointers best not to ask me !

Thanks Alan! Unfortunately no big speech today... just keep fighting the battle. Started reading Carrs books about quitting gambling and that's giving me some good insight. Appreciate all your help over the months. Keep the faith.

I'm reading that book Change it make sooo much sense 🙂 best wishes

Alright Geeezer ? :)) Just saw your post from last night LoL , It's good to keep the troops entertained , it's that Deano and Loxxie that get me started , I was just having a nice cup of tea until they drew me into mischief the bugge.rs !! .

Truth is mate as with many on here I've a few miserable years in the wilderness to make up for and It's nice to have a giggle on here with likeminded folk , nobody gets hurt ( well maybe the odd one ) but not everyone takes it as humour ( miserable shi.tes ) do they ? .

Glad to see you still being strong old buddy and that the challenge is still going strong , I'd often thought about joining one of those but to be honest I'm that dippy I'd be forever forgetting to sign in and I couldn't stand people chasing me around the forum telling me I hadn't signed in . LOL !.

Cushtie Bruv !! Bonjour for now :)) x

Look at you racking up those day's mate 111 :)) wait till you get to 666 you devil , well done mate the determination and perseverence is paying off , I never doubted you :)).

Stay safe and well Change , best wishes to you and your's xx

Cheers Alan! How you doing? Hope all is well in the fish 'n' chip industry! I always want fish, chips and mushy peas when I start talking about this... what fish is your standard one? Hake, haddock or cod?

Cod all day long down here mate , have all the others but it's always the one that outsells everything else , funny I have that effect on people they get hungry when I start talking to them , it does my chat up lines no good at all , they say " Do you sell fish" and I reply " yeah why " and they say " Coz you stink " , apart from that all's good in the chippy , quietish tonight coz of Halloween though , I always do better on Bonfire night , I sell more Bangers and no that wasn't a joke :)).

You ok mate , how's your man doing ?