I can quit, I have 2 stop!

Hey TezG

This is my first day too. Lets beat this disease once and for all.

Regards

CBH

Two more CGs wanting to stop giving their money away to greedy gambling bosses.

Loving this! If we could get every single CG out there to come on here right now and force a lot of bookies to close then the state of our high streets would be so much better.

Perhaps one day, this will happen!

All the best TezG in your recovery journey, please make it one where its destination will be a bright future for yourself.

Enjoy your weekend.

NT

Thanks for the replies nt & cbh 🙂

Day 3:- no gambling

I just got home from a GA meeting, feels good to open up and speak and listen to people who are fighting the same illness.

Reflection of the day from the book "A day at a time"

"I am & know & will,

I am knowing & willing,

I know myself to be & to will,

I will to be & to know."

-St Augustine

Today I pray

I pray for willingness to do what I can and willingness to be what I can be.

Today I will remember:- "I am & know and will"

I don't want to live the life style of a gambler no more. I'm tired of everything that comes with it. I hate the person who I become when gambling. I hate the lies which we tell on top of other lies to hide our tracks. I'm done, no more!

I know the person I want to be and if I never gamble again I can be that person!!!

1 day at a time 🙂

Hi

What a great determined start u av made , starting a diary attending g a meetings it's certainly not an half hearted attempt which won't get u very far

Some find it easy at 1st so been complacent is really important and others find it really difficult with urges all the time it's a real rollercoaster of a journey with many ups and downs either way , ultimately Tate it one day at a time and choose each day not to gamble and u are the only one who can make that decision

I wish u all the best in ur recovery

Castle2

Welcome to the forum and glad to hear your reading the a day at a time blue book youll not go far wrong reading that book mate.

Wish you every success in your bet free future a day at a time.

Take care

Thanks for your replies/support castle and footprints 🙂 It gives u a boost of extra confidence when we recieve advice and support from others. I see it as we're in this battle together.

Just finished my first days work at a new job. Everything went well and I'm looking forward to the future 🙂

With starting the new job haven't had the time to update my situation or read properly other people diaries. Hopefully have more time tomorrow!

Day 4- got money in my pocket and haven't gambled yet and no desire to do so either!

Hi Tez,

Ye it is a massive boost to have people show support and write on your diary. We are all in the same boat here trying to stay on that road of being gamble free.

I wish you all the best in staying gamble free stay strong and very well done on your progress so far hope you can keep at it 🙂

Kind Regards

Ricky

Day-6

I'm still really busy with the new job and stuff. Haven't had time to sit down last couple of days. The real test for me is when I got free time and my girlfriend is busy. That's when I have to be strong and remember back to all those disastrous times, which were caused by that first bet!

Thanks for the words of encouragement Ricky, I really appreciate it M8. I wish you what I wish myself, A happy peaceful life without gambling 🙂

Day-10 GAMBLED!!!!!!!!

I feel so pathetic and stupid. I lasted 10 days, what the hell is wrong with me!!! The scary part is....... I'm expecting a check in the mail and I'm already planing on using that to win that money back b4 my girlfriend finds out!!!!

I moved to Canada from Norway in October. By Xmas I hit rock bottom. I cleaned my bank Account out and shamefully stole off my girlfriend. I had nothing left. If my girl had left me that night I ain't to sure I would be here now. I called GA that night searching for help. I attended my first meeting the next night.

I managed to not have a bet for FIVE months, which is the longest I've been away from action.

Things were not going great with my job and with my girl and 1 Sunday I ended up in casino Niagra. I lost all I could get my hands on, around $1500. I got paid $800 the following day from my boss and made some story up to my girl and headed to the casino. Got down to my last $300 and went on this crazy run on roulette. I couldn't miss, a walked away with $3500.

From then on I gambled when ever I had chance to. I had the cash my girlfriend thought was all I had and I

had my play money. At one point I had up to $6000 in a shoe box under my bed. I couldn't spend any significant amount of it as my girlfriend would be suspicious. All I could do with it was count it. ( how pointless)

Sure enough I went on a bad run. And started betting reckless. Last wednesday I had just $1000 left. I said to myself stop now and confess and hey your $1000 up. I couldn't do it. My Brain went on auto pilot and I ended up at the blackjack table. Lost the lot in 1 hour.

What is the point of gambling if u can't even spend some of the money u win????... That is if u r lucky enough to win!!!!! I can't win because I can't stop!!!!

I went to a GA meeting last Sunday and felt so positive after. I even received some tx MSG from friends from there this wk which give me a boost. But I haven't felt right all wk, been kinda down and depressed. And today I hit the self destruct button and gambled away $650 which is all I had in my wallet. My girlfriend has all the bank cards, luckily.

I need to tell her everything before I dig myself in deeper hole. I'm in a right mess right now...... I know gambling has me beat so why can't I stop???? Why do I keep hurting myself and my love????

I've always considered my self fairly intelligent, all I see now is a stupid, brain dead idiot who deserves to be on his own!!!

Even after all I've done I'm still tempted to gamble!!!

I have to put blocks in place and come clean to my girl because I doubt I'm strong enough to resist the urge...... But today I will not gamble!!! I don't want to end up on the street with nothing!!!

I really hope this is my last day 1........ I can't take it anymore!!!!!

I have twice now reached around the 6 month mark of a gamble free life and both times fell back into that hell hole of a life style of gambling.

I know I can't win because I don't stop....... So why do I it???????

Terry.......... You need to put everything into this recovery attempt. I will always be a compulsive gambler and realize, you will never be able to bet occasionally like a normal person. Because you have no control!!!!!!!

Terry

I'm in the exact same boat 🙁 and your feelings are the same as mine in a bad place today I can't take it anymore, enough is enough like you say We will always be compulsive gamblers so We have to stop completely and be 100% committed I wish you all the luck on you road to recovery. you have done it before you can do it again

if at first we don't succeed try try again Hollie x

its all or nothing terry ! i think i've only just realized that after 20 odd years of bullshitting myself that i can have a coupon on or drop a tenner in the fobt then go home

good luck pal dont give them another penny!!

I managed to get through day 1........... I really hope it's my last!

I'm so ashamed and disappointed after relapsing, I beat myself up real good yesterday but managed to get through the day.

Had a better day today 🙂 Things went well at work and I'm on speaking terms with my girlfriend. That girl must really love me. she is still by side even after what I've put her through.

Had my first meeting with a new therapist and it went really well 🙂 It seems to really help me to get things off my chest and open up. They also give u great advice to. I'm sure if I carried on seeing my old therapist, even if it was only once a month. I'd still be gamble free now. But let's not look to much on the past Terry. You've made mistakes but this time learn from them.

I'm back in the right frame of mind again. I feel as if I'm on the first rung of the ladder, and it feels good 🙂

Your dead right Pjn, it's all nothing! If I gamble, I will end up with nothing.