I can quit, I have 2 stop!

Day 3:- Another good day at work 🙂

The sun is starting to shine here and it feels like spring is finally here.

I plan on going to the gym tonight for a good workout. I need to produce those natural endorphins, no better feeling 😉

I really hope to get back into a routine with training and living a healthy life.

I haven't gambled yet today....... And will try 100% to just continue tomorrow. 1 day at a time.

You can do this Terry!!!

Day 6:- I feel considerably great considering the week I put myself through.

I know this is going to be a tough, long journey due to the industry I'm in but........

I've had enough of throwing my hard earned money away, because I always lose control.

Handicapping is not only about picking winners, it's about betting properly. You can be a good handicapper and a bad gambler and you're never going to win.

Today I feel strong but I must remember to not get complacent tomorrow 🙂

I am a CG and alway will be.

It feels good to get 1 week under my belt 🙂

I was sitting at home last nite thinking back to a week ago when I was shovelling $100 bills into slot machines. I never want to experience that 'zombie mode' again; where you have no consideration for money or your actions. I only seem to return to my senses when all options of obtaining cash are gone.

It really does feel that I have finally excepted that their is absolutely no point in me gambling no matter how much I enjoy doing it, as I will always eventually lose control.

Now is the time to get my life back on track 🙂

Hi terry

Very nice reading !

Keep the flow going sounds like your in the right frame of mind.

Paul

Approaching the 2 week mark and it feels good 🙂

Had a little awkward moment earlyier today; a bunch of mates were encouraging me to join them for a poker game tonight. (They are unaware I'm a CG)

Previously when trying to refrain from gambling I most surely would of caved in to temptation...... Not this time 🙂 I just said I'm taking a break from gambling, I'm sick of the rollarcoaster ride of being up one day and down the next. It felt good saying it and I really ment it too.

Even though I'll miss getting together with the boys, I know for sure I'm making the right choice because even though its not for huge stakes. I know what 1 night of gambling will possibily lead to.

I feel as though I've achieved a small victory in this long old battle.

I haven't gambled today and I plan on just doing the same tomorrow 🙂

Almost 3 weeks without gambling 🙂

I haven't been posting much lately due to being busy with work and stuff.

But pleased to report I attended my second appointment this week with my therapist and will be attending a GA meeting tonight.

I know I have to put the time and effort in to my recovery. Because I know from previous experiences, as soon as I get complacent; Relapse is just around the corner....... Not this time 🙂

It's really sickening reading past progress made in previous posts. Which is all wiped out after a relapse and your inevitably in a worse off state then when you initially first started.

Day 1 again....... Mentally I'm in awful place right now, I feel like s**t!!!

The question I can't seem to answer is, "Do I really want to gamble"???

I love to gamble I guess thats why I'm an addict. I would love so much to be able to control it but deep down I Know after hundreds of attempts I can't. So why do I always convince myself to have one more attempt?

I'm really starting to think something is really wrong in my head and something just isn't wired up right. Is there anyone else out there who feels like they have everything under control and realizes gambling has them beat but frequently relapses???

Feed back would be appreciated.

With thanks, Terry.

Hi terry,sorry to hear bout your relapse mate.i am in the same boat as you.i ask myself time and time again why cant I jst gamble normal! I have each time for so long then boom lose a fortune.my missus had our baby girl and I thought then I have to stop,then booked our wedding and said the same but each time I f***** up and started betting again.we can never ever win unless we stop for good. My wedding is getting close now and am at a major low because of how much av lost recently so av decided enough is enough. Goodluck to u mate.al keep a eye out for u on here hopefully to see u posting betfree as ur days rack up.take care

Scottyboy

Thanks for replying Scootyboy.

Your right mate "we can't win coz we can't stop". We're addicts and we'll never be able to control it no matter how many times we try.

I see you have loads going on in your life right now with your baby girl and the wedding. I too I have loads of issues/problems right now. I know this contributed to me relapsing as well as just liking to gamble.

Gambling always worsens my situation. So doing it to escape worries....... only makes my problems 10 times worse. When will I wake up and realize this??????

Really wish you well With everything Scotty. I'll have a look at your diary later. Lets rack up those days 🙂

Hey Tez well done for coming back here- its DAY13 for me. Recovery is such a rollercoaster of a journey isn't it, ups and downs, you gotta put in place all the support you can. Someone in the chat session told me to write down in words how I feel after a big loss, the anger, panic, humiliation, despair etc... and to look at that whenever I am tempted to gamble. I don't want to experience those feelings again, that is such a dark place. We've got to live for today, live for the present, we can't get the money we lost back just got to try and get better.

trust the past to God's mercy

trust the present to his love

trust the future to his providence (also St Augustine I think)

hang in there.

Stu

Been at it again......... But this time Im screwed!

My girlfriend has our bank Card but i just went into The bank and said I've forgotten it and withdrew 3 weeks wages $2000.

Worst part is its not just my money.

How can I treat my love this way? I'm just a selfish loser that deserves to be alone. She has been up all night worrying where I was and really concerned about me. While I just switch my phone off and gamble all our hard earned money away.

She has told me now it's over.... She can't take it anymore. I told her her a long time ago to leave, she would b way better off without me.

The sick part is, driving home from the casino I'm already planing how I can gather up funds to go back and attempt to win it back. That's how f*****g sick this illness is!!!! I'm not giving up on giving up. My life is surely not meant to b this way. I know I'm a better person than this. I ain't me when I'm gambling.

Painful reading tez but your back in the right place buddy.hope you can find a way to deal with all this. 12 days ago I was on the verge of ending it all but with the support of this Site and the start of councilling I have a little hope

Paul

Reading my diary back brought back all the emotions and feelings from that time. Sadly almost 2 years on I'm no further forward in living a gamble free life.

Roughly this time last year I hit rock bottom. My GF left she couldn't take no more. I was then free to do as I wanted.... Gamble. It only took some weeks to reach rock bottom. I left the casino on a Sunday afternoon after blowing the last amount of cash I could get on credit and drove to GA.

I refrained from gambling for 6months, but sadly relapsed late January and I've been on a downward spiral ever since.

I want and need help... I know I have to help my self though. It's so hard to except you can't ever gamble.

Today is my day 1.... 1st July 2014 I hope and pray to god I never gamble again. I've caused and suffered enough, I can't take much more.

Best wishes to everyone, we're in this fight together x

Almost 4 days complete 🙂 but more importantly today was my biweekly pay and I handed my check over to my girlfriend. I could of made an opportunity to gamble, that's what a CG does best.... But I made the right choice.

Stopped off and bought some beers on the way home for a treat. Got a little side job on tomorrow for some cash money 🙂 hopefully be finished and in the pub to watch the late game tomorrow.

Have a good weekend all 🙂