Hi everyone,
I never thought I’ll find myself in the horrible rock bottom place again.
I stopped, and then I started again and now I feel like I can’t stop.
After 7 years of struggle I’ve told my partner of 12 years the truth. Him constantly pushing me towards marriage and buying a property together got too much for me, he started accusing me of not wanting the same things as he does when in reality I want that more than anything else in this world, so I told him the whole truth - I lied to him for 7 years I lied to him so much. How can I give him all those things when he is amazing and I’m just trash. Now I’ve lost him, because I understand it was a lot to put on him and I won’t blame him if I don’t hear from him ever again.
I feel so lost, so empty…
Hi welcome for seeking help, you are in the right place, first of all gambling is a horrible illness and what you are explaining is far to common this wasent all your fault gambling makes u do things out of your control it messes up your thought process however saying this with right step in place and wanting to make the change you too can improve am on day 361 without a bet their few other with partners who were exacly your situation who are now giving the best advice so be reasured you are not alone
@tazman thank you so much for your kind words. Maybe this is exactly what I need a reality check to make a change and finally quit. Congratulations on the big milestone approaching, you are an inspiration!
So sorry for you! U will get everything again! Believe! ! ! Never stop
Hi
Walking in to the recovery program I did not understand that I was reacting in such unhealthy ways.
Being in recovery program I would get to understand what was my last emotional trigger were pain fear frustrations loneliness or boredom, and can I learn to not react in such unhealthy ways again.
Walking in to the recovery program I did not understand that I was not able to heal my pains.
Walking in to the recovery program I did not understand that I was filled with so many fears I could not even be honest with my self.
I do understand now that nearly every time I gambled I Made things much worse in my life and more painful.
I do understand that pains cause fears in me.
In time as I became much healthier I made the choice to interact in healthy ways.
To deal with situations in a much healthier way.
My conscience is spirtual based and indicates that deep down I am a healthy person.
By going to meetings my fears reduced in me.
By me having less fears I was abale to have a much healthier life.
I am a non religious person yet I have become a much healthier spirtual person.
Money was never going to heal my pains.
Money was never going to reduce my fears.
Money was never going to help me have intimacy with my self and with other people.
Procrastination stunted my growth and my healing.
Living in fear and Procrastinating was not healthy for me.
The recovery program is not about right wrong good or bad, recovery is about healing my hurt inner child and living a much healthy life with out fear.
Healing love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
@bernadetteuk good evening
You have now been honest for the first time so that is a positive move. It shows your partner that you do want the same as him but need help to do so.
As a mother of a son with previous gambling harm, complete honesty is the key to the start of recovery if you want it hard enough and reach out to get serious help for it . Its a hard road to do without support but so worth it.
0808 8020133 is the helpline number if you want to talk to an adviser about how we can specifically help. I can vouch for the service as spent so many occasions just talking to a non judgemental person.
Best wishes to you and hope all goes well
Patsy
Online peer Supporter
Hi, and welcome to the best place you could come to for help. Your story hits such a chord with me. Coming clean was the toughest thing I’ve ever done, but I knew I’d I didn’t it would only end one way. Even more broke and definitely without a wife. At least coming clean when I did gave me a slim chance at saving something.
Trust was the issue my wife couldn’t accept. Gamblers are devious. We never really outright lie, we just hide the truth. We get very good at it. I can imagine if my partner was hiding something from me for years, and so well, I’d struggle to come to terms with it too. I hope your partner can accept what you’ve done and help you in your road to recovery. Prove to them how you’ll change, prove you mean it. Open and honest transparency is the only way forward now.
Wishing you all the best in your recovery. Please keep us updated. It really does help to open up to people, even if it’s complete strangers on here. Ultimately we are all in the same boat, and probably have been in your situation in one way or another, so don’t feel like you’re alone.
Stay strong 💪
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