I should have never been a gambler in the first place, as I was lousy at it. Everything I did was wrong. When I would win, I would get excited and overconfident and bet more and more until I lost the lot. When I lost, I would despair over having lost, and bet more and more trying to recover my losses until end up only losing more. I am so glad I am now in full recovery mode with blocks in place. Life is better without gambling.
Hi Gerard G,
I don't believe it's possible to be good at gambling if you are a gambling addict. To be a winner at gambling would mean that you aren't emotionally attached to the behaviour and can set financial limits which aren't financially damaging and be able to walk away with a win and not use it as a source to get more anticipation, adrenaline and escapism from reality.
Regards
Hi
In my recovery I learned to not beat my self up and call myself names.
The gambling and y obsessions just indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.
The gambling establishments never made me gamble.
The gambling establishments never stole my money I gave it away freely.
The gambling establishments never lied to my family Idid.
The money was just the fuel for my addiction.
The money was never going to resolve my emotional triggers.
I could not trust my self with money.
Eventually I handed it over to another person made it easier for me.
I felt like a little child being punished, but that was only my perspective.
In time I would idenify my emotional triggers.
Pains I could not heal.
Fears I could not face.
Frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situation.
Loneliness and boredom.
In time Iwould understand a healthy life is about balance not obsession.
Each time I went back to gambling was a lesson for me to learn from.
No matter when my last bet was it was very important to keep attending meetings.
Yes the meetings raise more questions than answers.
Yet once I got more honest with my self then my fears were reducing.
To understand each time I gambled I simply made things and situations much worse.
How much do I value my self and my life today.
Do I want to keep hurting mysef and causing my self more and more pains.
The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms.
How much do I want a healthy life today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Hi
In my recovery I learned to not beat my self up and call myself names.
The gambling and y obsessions just indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.
The gambling establishments never made me gamble.
The gambling establishments never stole my money I gave it away freely.
The gambling establishments never lied to my family Idid.
The money was just the fuel for my addiction.
The money was never going to resolve my emotional triggers.
I could not trust my self with money.
Eventually I handed it over to another person made it easier for me.
I felt like a little child being punished, but that was only my perspective.
In time I would idenify my emotional triggers.
Pains I could not heal.
Fears I could not face.
Frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situation.
Loneliness and boredom.
In time Iwould understand a healthy life is about balance not obsession.
Each time I went back to gambling was a lesson for me to learn from.
No matter when my last bet was it was very important to keep attending meetings.
Yes the meetings raise more questions than answers.
Yet once I got more honest with my self then my fears were reducing.
To understand each time I gambled I simply made things and situations much worse.
How much do I value my self and my life today.
Do I want to keep hurting mysef and causing my self more and more pains.
The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms.
How much do I want a healthy life today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Walliss77 what you say is so true. I think you have hit the nail on the head.
Hi
Nothing healthy is achieved by beating our sef up or calling our self names.
The recovery program helps us heal our pains and understand we are just being unhealthy.
In time we find heling and inner peace in our self.
Regards Dave L
Hi
Yes I get what you are saying but I don't think it's as simplistic as being a "terrible gambler"
I didn't understand the psychology of how addictive it is or what it was doing to the chemicals in my body. In the moment I didn't really feel anything I was doing was wrong..maybe unlucky or nearly there but machines are designed to promote that nearly you, near miss feeling.......only afterwards I knew it was wrong when I realised that I should have stopped or I should never have gone in.
It took a quality of determination and twisted it so I wanted my fix. They are pushing addictive products and my poison was the next button press a couple of seconds away.
It's complex as I'm not sure if the drip drip fix was more addictive than wanting my reward. I ended up gambling to gamble as I could not have justified it as a money making scheme. Even after my first try I soon gave it all back so the delusion starts very quickly
I sometimes used to think well card players or horse gamblers should be able to walk away because they have time to think but I now know it doesn't work like that
I should never have gambled because I didn't know how vulnerable I was to its addiction. A depressive seeking escape, emotions and kindness from a machine is a recipe for disaster. I know that I was even seeking cruelty and punishment for feeling a failure and it does end up like a drug addiction
There are strong parallels with why a class a addict goes for the next fix which is more of a habit than any pleasure which wears very thin as the body and mind become dependant on it. Theres also some weird new day feeling about it as if everything resets and I'm going to win breakfast at the start of getting it all back
Of course I now know that any thoughts of getting it back at any rate are basically nonsense
This is why gambling must carry a health warning If it is not to be banned
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