Day 45 - gf!
Wow i had not realised how close I was to my next milestone - very exciting! No thoughts of gambling last night even though i was in posession of the laptop - good signs that progress is being made. Tonight though it will be staying at work as it is not needed with me.
Cant really report much more to be honest, life is good and although lots going on Im taking it all in my stride without getting anxious or relying on gambling as a release!
Today I will not gamble because its the final countdown (to my next milestone)
Day 46 - gf!
Was a bit bored last night, felt like the ants in my pants were back and that was certainly the time i would have gambled...wasnt really thinking aobut it much though, usually the desire would be overwhelming. Managed to occupy my time with some tv and reading so made it into another gf day!
Looking forward to a relaxing weekend - will be travelling next week so laptop will be in my posession. I dont really have an association with gambling whilst on the road however i didnt really want to have the opportunity so have thought of some ways i can occupy my time so it isnt on my mind. This will probably be my first big test with no way to break the triangle, will deal with it one day at a time!
Hope everyone has a nice gf weekend!
Today I will not gamble because i want to join the 100 milestone club (just like Loxxie did today)
Hi rose. Happy belated birthday and congratulations on 46 days. I just wanted to say thanks for supporting me on my diary 🙂 I like the way you put a reason why you won't gamble today at the end of your posts
Hey rose. ..hope your having a great weekend....nearly at the half centuary : )
Going great lover x
Day 47 gf!
Thanks wishicouldstop & Loxxie for your kind posts!
Slowly moving up to my next milestone of 50 days, feeling positive! Had some thoughts of gambling but that's all they were, think they will always be there but they are not urges and I can handle that! Every time they pop in my head I think of how awful it makes me feel when I gamble and I know that I don't want to do it!
Today I will not gamble because it's not what I want to do!
Day 48 gf!
short post to check in, no thoughts of gambling and had a lovely weekend!
Today I will not gamble because I won't spoil my lovely weekend!
Day 49 - gf!
Nearly at my half century! It is going to be a challenge the next few weeks as I am working away part of the week, which means I cant break the triangle like I am used to. Didnt really want to have this temptation so early on in my journey however there is literally nothing i can do about it - just need to get through each day gamble free. I am having no desire to gamble but sometimes it sneaks up on me so quickly and thats the scary thing! Need to stay focused on why i dont want to gamble and I have a list of activties to keep me occupied at night so I dont find myself bored in a hotel room.
Will be a big test of my willpower but I will be keeping my diary and the forum close!
Today I will not gamble because tomorrow I have a milestone to hit!
I'm not in the business of counting chickens, but I'm confident that you will be hitting a major milestone today.
Think you have done incredibly well. Like the style, spirit and sign-offs of your diary.
Look forward to a triumphant entry today.
Enjoy your day.
Keep up the excellent work.
Happy Hawaii day.
Today I will not gamble as Rose is inspiring me not to KTF.
Hey Rosie...50 days...wooho
Pleasure to have ...and still be walking this road with you. ...stay safe while your away lovely lady...you can do this....xx
Well done Rosie, 50 days is a lovely milestone to reach.
Suzanne xx
Congratulations Rose on 50 gamble free days , best wishes Alan
Day 50 - gf!
Thank you so much Glint, KTF, Loxxie, Suzanne and Alan (i like your new picture btw) for your kind words and posts on my diary! I have read all of your diaries and even though I may not have posted on them all yet, I have taken away pieces of advice and motivation to keep going on this journey!
Even though the weather is terrible I have sunshine on the inside - I cant believe I have actually made 50 days! When i started my counter at 11 or so and read all the diaries I never thought I would get here - gambling had stripped me of my last bit of confidence. I was sat alone in a room contacting gamcare not even able to cry because I felt dead inside - worthless and in despair, feeling so alone! It is hard to even admit that I felt like that - it was my rock bottom. Slowly though by reading diaries and finding strength through peoples posts a little voice said this can be done - there is hope, such a magical word! Without that hope i would not have reached 50 days!
Its early days and I want to make 50 into 500 and more but i take this little victory over my gambling nemesis and give myself a pat on the back! There have been ups and downs but the facts are that there have been more ups and less drastic downs now that I am gf!
Ill have my laptop with me tonight - but I know i wont gamble! The laptop will not even come out of my bag, i have my night planned to keep busy but even if i didnt have plans..I just wouldnt gamble, there is no way I am spoiling my 50 days by resetting that counter!
Today I will not gamble because I am filled with sunshine today by being gf!
Hi,
Many congratulations on your fantastic achievement. Here's to the next 50.
Best wishes
Day 51 - gf!
Thanks Balvaird, I hope to one day reach where you are today!
Had a nice relaxing night last night, no thoughts of gambling at all until I had to go into my bag before bed and get something out which meant moving my laptop around. I realise now that it is more of an association than an urge to gamble - I look at my latop and I automatically think of gambling because thats how i used to gamble, sat in front of the thing. The brain works in funny ways, not sure how or if an association can be changed but will certainly explore this more in therapy. Anyhow, the thought lasted for roughly 2 seconds before it was dismissed and I fell into a deep sleep!
Next milestone is 62 days - that is 2 months gamble free. 100 is to far off and need to give myself a little target to get to so can have a little pat on the back to keep me going. Payday is looming and Im not dreading it like last month, i like the fact I have kept all my money this month to spend on me and dont want to go back to scrimping and saving just to buy lunch.
Today I will not gamble because I dont want to associate myself with gambling anymore!
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