Hi there,
I just want to keep a diary and track my recovery. Im determined to do it. Im sick of this life. It's a familiar story, sportsbook, roullette, online, casinos, you name it, ive gambled on it. And like so many others on here I gamble until my last penny is gone.
So this is day 1, all ive thought about is gambling. I wont do it though, im convinced that finally I genuinely believe that no amount that I may win by gambling makes any kind of difference, we all follow the same cycle unfortunately! I estimate ive lost around 90k gambling since I was 18! (Im 26)
It hurts that I can never again enjoy putting a coupon on on a saturday with friends, or enjoy a day at the races with family, but thats life.
it hurts that i can never forget the pain in my partners eyes when i stole all our savings
If i go back to gambling i will cause more pain
Fella
Welcome to the forum, two things stand out for me.
First your absolutely right when you state that no matter how much you win it will never be cashed out.
It will remain 'gambling tokens' and when the winnings run dry you will punt more of your hard earned.
We all when active live by the same mantra.
I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.
That mantra can be broken, not cured but arrested.
Each time you refuse addiction that next bet you will win.
Secondly my life for twenty plus years revolved around gambling, I simply couldn't see any purpose or function without it, lose followed loss, I became further detached from society, more compelled to gamble on.
Life without gambling is beyond comparison, yes the s#h#it days still exist, but I don't add to the s#hi#t.
Have you told your family and friends that you have a new challenge in life? ?
The honest approach I have towards my addiction for me is the most amazing thing, folk want to help, ironically I thought my destructive gambling was my biggest secret, but the truth is most folk could see it as clear as day.
I repeated the same act over and over expecting the outcome to change.
Something I can see today is totally mad.
I look forward to reading your progress.
Be kind to yourself
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Thanks Duncan. You're exactly right. Today's been quite hard. I'm a bricklayer and today I was rained off, a typical day to start which I would spend gambling. I resisted though, and to take my mind away from the boredom, I done other things. Tidied, cleaned, read, and looked into a course I want to pursue. Perhaps if I stop gambling I can actually afford it and make something of my life!!
I alsotook steps to sorting out my debt. I gained credit reports, and I'll look into the best way of paying those off in due course. It's 1 day, but I guess 1 day's progress, I didn't feel the need to gamble EVERY day, but today was a typical day when I certainly would have. I'm determined to see this through, and people like offering encouragement is a huge motivation. Thanks.
Well done safc yesterday was may day 1 as well and like you i did nit have the urge every day to gamble. The trigger for me is when my family are busy or my girls are on sleepovers and i get the freedom to gamble all night! I have moved the computer downstairs to the porch where i will not sit all night because it is cold and creepy!! Iv'e also left my bank cards hidden in my father on laws bedroom downstairs so i cannot get to them. I have to do this. I'm 44 and if i carry in i will not have a home to live in. Keep positive and you will succeed
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
