Let's go again.

Biggest urge last night. Saw an add for a sign up offer on Twitter. I had already closed my own account with them but was pretty sure I could sign up in my girlfriends name. Came on here and read some diaries instead. Part of me still wanted to do it after but luckily I didn't. Shows you can never be too careful.

Running is going good too. 50km hit this month. Need to do another 50km before the end of October, which will be tough as I'm playing football again, but it's something else to take my mind off betting.

Anyways next step one full Calander month.

RA

30 days today. Been reading people's diarys and posts 3/4 times a day, it's almost like my new addiction.

Would really like to get on the chat more so must find time for that.

RA

Hi RA well done on 30 days that's brilliant :)) me too need to get on chat, me too this is my new addiction lol best wishes Lu

Lots of free time on my hands today and gambling keeps trying to sneak up on me. I was watching the football and both teams were sponsored by bookmakers, it's all over the advertise boards and then the adverts. I did think about it I'm not going to lie, but I just went for a run and now I'm on here.

Man weekends are tough!

32 days GF today. Have a good one guys.

RA

Well done on 34 days, I'm not far behind you, keep positive x

So i told my fiancee about all of this yesterday. I wasn't at all planning on doing it, but i have owed her some money, and have not paid her back for 4 months and she started asking questions and wanted to see my bank balance, so i thought i may as well just come clean.

The timing was awful on my part, as i told her as we were walking back to the car after work and we were then about to go for food. I just had to get it out. She reacted as expected. She was upset i hadn't told her earlier, said he lost some trust in me. But she she also demanded that she paid off my overdraft so i can start fresh, and then pay her back monthly. I really didn't want her to do this as it is my mess and i want to get myself out of it, but she was insistent. She really is awesome.

From a GF point of view im glad i told her as its another block in the way really. I really don't want to be upsetting her anymore than i already have done. I felt like utter rubbish after, but it's done now. I'm in a worse mood about all of this than i think she is. Mainly because of how i lied to her, but im 38 days GF now, and it's like a fresh start.

I see lots of posts on here telling others that they should tell their other halfs about their addicition. I have put it off for so long, and i didn't tell her because i wanted too, i did it because i had too. But i am so glad it is out there so i have someone else to talk to about it. I would highly recommend everyone else takes this step.

RA

We got home this evening and she wanted access to my online bank account so she could total up what I had spent on gambling this year. My heart was beating out of my chest when she was going through it because I knew how bad it was.

Although she was shocked and had questions she said we will draw a line under it and move on. I will of course have to pay her back money I owe but we have set up and agreement to get this sorted.

I feel so relieved now though. We have sat and talked about it and I opened up and answered all of her questions. No hiding places for me now. If I gamble again i dread to think what will happen.

I'm focused and determined though and I will beat this.

RA

It's been a good weekend. Still GF, and nearly achieved my next target of a whole calander month.

I also managed to complete my 100km running challenge for October. Total running time was 7:32:21.

Feeling good right now.

Hope everyone had a good & GF weekend.

RA

Managed to achieve the target of one month GF. 42 days now.

Next one is to get to 57 days. That will go past my last record and will be the longest I have gone without betting in 9 years. How sad is that!

Feeling good! Have a good week guys and girls.

RA

Hi RA well done on your days that's amazing your an inspiration Lu x

Ra as always nice one
Smash the 57 then beyond
Have a great week

Congratulations on reaching your target of a month gamble free RA , onwards and upwards my friend !!

50 days tomorrow.

I am sure I have said it before but it feels diffrerent this time. No more staying up and watching a virtual tennis ball going backwards and forwards on a screen for hours. No more laying in bed with my phone on the lowest brightness so not to wake my partner, watching how many attacks an team in Peru is having on goal! No more feeling of sick and regret the next morning.

My fiancГ©e knows everything. We don't really talk about it after the initial chat, but I know she will be checking my account on paydays.

I haven't really had many urges as such, but I think about it time to time. I read the forum 2/3 times a day for 10 or so minutes. I don't make chat as much as I would like but time doesn't permit it.

I think a lot about what actually having money will buy me. New clothes, days out, treat my partner. I have events coming up which I need money for too. I think of all these things daily to keep me motivated and on the straight and narrow.

Not too much longer until I hit the 57 days and set my own new record. What a good feeling that will be!

RA

54 Days. Feeling really good!

RA

54 Days. Feeling really good!

RA