Let's GO!!

Hi, I am exactly the same, reluctant with having to spend money on normal things. Yet would blow £12000 of business funds in a week on gambling, would think nothing of depositing £1000 a time. How stupid is that!!! Struggling this morning with excepting the loses and mountain of debt. Only on day 6, looked at online bank accounts and that's when the reality hits. Got to be positive and look forward not back. Well done on your gamble free days.

Hi Xenedra. I get what you're saying about being careful with money spent on non-gambling things. It's crazy... many times I have pondered and agonised over a purchase trying to justify it to myself. But when in the gambling zone the money just loses its value - or perhaps, I'd convince myself that although I'd lost a lot of money gambling - one day I would win it all back.. and more!

I can relate when it comes to the bank statements as mine are awful some times 15-20 deposit transactions in one day on a bad day, I always think why didn't I just deposit £300 or what £ in one go instead of 10 £30 deposits but then I realise I never wanted to loose £300 but I kept chasing and chasing!

Looking forward to being a month GF (then these transactions will be out of sight at least) the debt on the other hand I have a 4 year wait to see the back of that paying £500 per month to a dmp 🙁

Hi Xenedra, wasn't sure where to post so I decided on here whilst I have a good long think about my To do list!

I'm not sure it was withdrawal symptoms as such that I had but from what I recall, I don't think I managed to function for about 3 days. Also, it's a bit hazy (& I couldn't begin to guess where in my diary it is to confirm) but I recollect taking a day's AL when I 1st stopped which is something I had never allowed to happen whilst in action.

You are coming from a better place than most tackling this addiction because even though you can't think straight sometimes, you do know your stuff.

I'm sorry to hear about Welly...You know dogs have a memory like a goldfish with all our bad behaviours right? You don't need to have one last dance with her, as you say, she loved you unconditionally & would have known how much you loved her. You should really perhaps think about finding some real life support & until you figure that out, then you've got all your new cyber friends. I do understand your concerns about GA but you could still take up some of the GamCare counselling whilst you figure out your next moves.

Pops has given you some pointers for keeping busy - we used to have a thread but the author quit & off it went into cyber heaven never to be seen again much to my dismay 🙁 Box sets are always popular, cleaning, exercise & learning also high up there...Not for me so much as I invested in a hundred million (roughly) Sharpies & set to work on an adult colouring book so that I could fill the time whilst my Candy Crush lives refreshed since I'd read every GamCare post from the last decade (probably)...Do as I say, not as I do springs to mind!

There was a time when I shopped in different supermarkets for different items to save pennies & though I didn't realise it @ the time, I imagine now it was more about protecting my gambling funds than being astute. I too did multiple small withdrawals because I had every intention of stopping after my set amount but win or lose initially, I couldn't stop until the shop closed or I ran out of money...A good day was breaking even & yet I had myself convinced that the one thing that had gotten me into the mess was going to get me out of it. I even used to pay pennies off of my various credit cards to push the last gambling transaction out of view on my phone banking. That 1st month's statement without any on there was an amazing sight!

Your little girl needs you back with her & for her as well as for you, you have to do everything you can to figure this out. Don't think about forever, the only day that matters is today - ODAAT