Lets try this again...Day Zero

Hi JJT, I will say to you what many others said to me...time, money, location... It's the triangle, make sure you never have any of them together, for me that means I never have access to money, not so much physical money as I've never been in the bookies or a casino or played the fruit machines, but I don't have access to a debit or credit card so therefore I can't play on any online sites. Yeah ok sometimes it's a bit impractical and my husbands birthday presents aren't a surprise but that's the price I pay for being a compulsive gambler.

Use your annoyance to push you through the next few days, remember how it feels every time you get tempted, that £20 is gone but you don't have to do another.

It is just a bump in the road, I know how it feels we just need to not let that £20 turn into another and another. That money is gone now. I'm on day 1 so not a lot of use but we can fight this. One day at a time. X

Hi JJT,

Put this behind you and stay focussed, life can be tough at times and I have been at those low points but its the good days you have to remember! I always say try to be a better person than you were yesterday, this keeps me motivated to keep going and forever gain strength mentally!

Just a little slip but one day at a time you will get there!

All the best everyone

Thanks everyone.

I don't know what happened today. Just got into that frame of mind.

Been fighting the depression all day. Just when I start to think positive the darkness creeps in.

I am usually good at hiding emotions (as a lot of CGs are) but not only from gambling but from living with my mum and stepdad when I really did not like him. I like him now but did not 15 years ago. Did not want to say anything to my mum to upset her so just lived with it. That is where I learnt to suppress my feelings. I know it's bad and it must frustrate my wife so much. I do try and talk about my emotions but find it really hard. This is even a big step for me talking on here.

Thanks for all of the support everyone. Even though today was a write-off I will take positives from it. I stopped at 20 and did not let it go further. Max self excluded straight away.

Can't wait for my wife to get back from travelling. Miss her loads and need her right now.

Tomorrow a fresh day. A new day to say a big f you to gambling. A new day to start turning the tables. A new day to live free of this daemon that is all consuming.

I imagine it to be this horrible creature that slowly gets its grip around you and then smothers you until it has you completely trapped. It then feeds off you till you have nothing left and when you have nothing left it starts to weaken it's grip to give you a bit of hope then lulls you into a false sense of security and starts smothering again.

Not until you find the strength to find help from people like you in this forum or friends and family who can help begin to pry the horrible creature from you.

When you finally get the creature off you it stalks you ready to grab you at the first sign of weakness.

That's where I feel at the moment. This creature has its hand ready to grab my ankle. It was closing its grip earlier when I slipped but then I thought of all of you and your support and managed to get away.

Really need to get some space between me and it. I know will take time and it will be lurking in the background for the rest of my life but I also know that I can defeat it and make sure it stays very far back.

Thanks again all....Day zero again

You have summed your thoughts up about this addiction and how you feel what it does to you in a way that I and many others on here can relate to. Thank you for opening up and sharing those thoughts, not easy to even write them, but you have:))

Don't be too hard on yourself tonight, tomorrow you will wake up, even more determined, and more in control, today was not wasted it was a learning brick:)))

Take care

Suzanne xxx

What a great post you should get this printed of and put in your wallet and the next time the vile little creature steps out on the daylight gave a read and he will soon go scurrying off.

KTF

Thanks Suzanne and KTF.

Day 1

Just woke up. Did not have a great night sleep. Don't usually have nightmares but have had the last couple of nights. Not sure if it's connected or not.

Feeling a bit more positive and happy today (at the moment). So happy I can come on here and know there is support. Really helps.

Today my aim is to try and remain positive, stand tall with head up and finish the day with a smile to start to add a little distance between me and the horrible creature that is gambling.

Here goes.... 🙂

Great posts JJT and we all know that feeling, the more space you can create the easier it becomes. There will be times when you feel the monster lurking and its those times when you need to stay focussed, times like that i find this forum a great help, even if it just reading other peoples stories. Remeber the feeling of being back to 0 and use that as your inspiration.

Just finished work. Hard day with the creature breathing down the back of my neck. But at least it did not get in reach of me. I think I managed to see it today and it did look a little scared that it is not in full control of me anymore.

Going back to an empty flat. But will watch the champions league game and then go straight to bed as got an early start in the office tomorrow.

Hope everyone else had a good day...

Addiction not in full control today:)) , Give yourself a big pat on the back my friend, :))) you are slowly even if at snail pace doing it, and I mean winning for real.

These early days are hard, there is lot going on in our head to adjust too,early night great idea, cos you may start feelng drained and knackered soon, recharge those batteries whenever needed lol, your recovery comes first now:)))

Keep strong, positive and focused, tonight.

Suzanne xxx

JJT wrote: Just finished work. Hard day with the creature breathing down the back of my neck. But at least it did not get in reach of me. I think I managed to see it today and it did look a little scared that it is not in full control of me anymore. Going back to an empty flat. But will watch the champions league game and then go straight to bed as got an early start in the office tomorrow. Hope everyone else had a good day...

Enjoy the game JJT, MINUS the opportunities of gambling of course. Great to hear your doing so well. Tri x

Thanks Suzanne and triangle.

Luckily sports betting has never been a pull for me. And I hope it never will be.

A lot more positive than yesterday.

Woohoo

Thanks JJT ,your message very much appreciated:)) doesn't matter how far we are down that road, that day0 is just around the corner.

Keep taking every single positive from every single negative for now, be aware, keep strong,,and do what you have to do your way, (you will find and know your own way) jeez J I have done it my way for two years and am still standing:)))

You have just lifted me::)) thank you again, this is what this forum is truly about,,xxx

Suzanne xxx

You are welcome Suzanne.

Unfortunately me being at home by myself and bored frantically searched for an old account to revive. Unfortunately I found one. 2 x £20 deposits. All lost and feeling like a mug again.

Requested permanent self exclusion. And getting blocking software in place as we speak so it does not happen again.

Day 1 was going so well.

Day zero once again. Oh dear...

So kinda just broke down into uncontrollable tears in the shower and could not stop crying.

Feel a bit better now. Think I needed that. Have to hit the ground before you can bounce back up again I suppose.

Thank goodness I have this forum to turn to. It is a huuuuuge help and everyone is amazing at supporting each other.

I am more determined than ever now.

I am determined to contain this problem.