Day 10 (aka double figures)
Made it to double figures thanks to willpower and support from you all.
That would be good silversurfer if a lot of the sites went under. I know it is fun for some people but for others like us they are life changing in a negative way.
Watching footy today and nearly all adverts at the grounds were betting sites. Dangerous. Even their saying...when the fun stops...stop. I am sure this subconsciously gets the idea that it will be fun into people's heads.
Thanks for your support KTF.
Match of the day on now. I'm off to bed to watch.
Day 11
The days keep getting quicker and quicker. Will be at the two week mark in no time at all.
I know I can stay strong. I will not gamble.
Day 12
Did not get a chance to post yesterday but still gamble free and getting further and further from that horrible creature.
I know it can appear at anytime but I have defended in place and am determined never to let it back into my life.
Day 13
Pretty boring day but got through it alright. Still no urge to gamble.
Day 14
So today I make 2 weeks gamble free. I thought I would be happier than this but I am riddled with regret.
Today has been tough. All day I have been thinking and regretting losing all that profit. Also sad that I will not gamble again. It was a big party of my life. I know it was not good for me and causes nothing but pain and suffering in the end but I do miss it.
Think I have to do more things that get my pulse going. Maybe a skydive or something.
Wish I did not feel like this and hope the feeling passed soon.
Day 15, 16 & 17
No urge to gamble. So happy I was honest with myself and extended self exclusion on that final account which cold have been reactivated at start of June. I know temptation wild prob have got the better of me and I would have been suckered straight back in.
So much better when not bleeding money left right and centre to the casinos.
Day 18
Getting closer to the big 21. Three weeks they say to get out of a habit. Still currently miss playing slots but then make myself remember how they always end up making me feel.
Day 21
I made it. So proud of myself. Three weeks no gambling. Got a financial plan in place as well as blocks and maximum self exclusions.
No urge to play at all now. Just a couple of negative thoughts of regret now and again.
So here I am again at day 0.
Over the past 2 weeks I have opened a couple of accounts and once again started off with profit then lost it all and then some. Why oh why I soooooo stupid.
I feel soooooo down. Not again. Why did I have to do it again.
Darn.
Hey JJT, you've picked yourself back up and came back which is good.
I take it you went somewhere and used cash? as you stated post 59 that you've got blocking software, if this is the case do you think it might be a good idea to hand over your bank/credit cards to your wife? If you don't have access to money you can't spend if, therefore keeping the triangle broken.
Morning JJT, we cannot win because we cannot stop I'm afraid 🙁 You did it again because you are an addict & the only way to live with this vile addiction is to let the losses go & accept you cannot gamble again!
Your posts prior to this relapse suggest you had blocking software in place so not sure how you got round it but your barriers need to be much higher. I know CW mentioned it before & you thanked her for the kick up the b*m but doesn't appear you have explored any options other than willpower & that just ain't gonna cut it!
Try & remember how proud you were of yourself, how much better you felt when you were gamble free & make this your last restart by putting solid plans into action & following them through - ODAAT
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