Life begins again

Thanks for popping over to my diary Suzanne....your a great inspiration !
Have a lovely weekend xx

Hi Suzanne,

Thank you for your support and positivity. I hope that you have a lovely weekend.

Dave X

Morning Suzanne.

Thanks for your support. Hope you're well in day 740 ! Keep up your positivity .. It rubs off on those around you 🙂

Clare X

Hi Suzanne, hope you are good, have you been enjoying de sunshine, i hope so. Funny how when the weather is brilliant, gambling thoughts are far from one's thought's. Hope all is well x Paul x

I wished wrote:

Thank you soo much fellow peeps, it really is appreciated.

Good evening diary,

Ok I threw my dollies out yesterday:(( I ended up sleeping on the settee, (not the first time indeed lol) not a good evening with OH, but every so often both sides need to get strife off their chest, so to speak.

Early shift this morning(I knew set hours would not last for long lol) but I have come home, cut the lawns, and yes cleaned the Windows inside and out, OK only the downstairs ones, but daft as it always sounds, cleaning windows takes away a lot of my frustration, impatience, and ofcourse Mr G.

Pension peeps are now sending a third letter out, as we have not received even one yet, sorry diary, but I haven't quite got to grips yet with, bring patient.

OH knew he for a change was actually out or order last night, He mentally attacked me, but it is because he is also frustrated, and worried about me, All is well, he has rang me today, a few times while at work, and I have just given him a little gift:))) I have cut the lawns, (which he has vowed to do tonight) doesn't know I have done it, and weeded Lol.

Stupid thing to say but iif/when you get that gambling urge, clean the Windows, cut the grass, even in the rain lol. Do anything and everything you can to keep it where it belongs (in the gutter) the only way we can win now, is by not placing even one penny.

Wishing everyone a safe, warm, and enjoying the weather evening.

Suzanne xxx

Has it been a good week Suzanne. Missed your musings and encouragement. Tri and Schrodinger x

Thanks for popping over to my diary...it's great to know your keeping an eye on me ! Lol
I'll let you have my address....I'm c**P at cleaning Windows ! : ) x

Hi Suzanne, yeah i have gone quiet, it's because i have gone to a remote part of Scotland doing an audit for a small working farm, it's brill up here, good weather, and no bookies and very intemittent wi-fi, wish I could stay forever, no temptation. I will be here till early June, and i have had to travel a mile to send this. This is just what I need, no people, nowhere or way to gamble. Hope you are good any news on the caravan. - Paul, Take care my friend xx

hi suzanne, a quick escape from the farm, I hope the caravan is everything you hoped for, and you have been there all week-end cleaning it ! Have a good week, this isolation stuff is good for the ex-gambling man, no triangle, no gambling, its good ((Paul))

Hi Suzanne , thanks for the kind words , I knew I wouldn't be gone long lol ! .

I hope everything's good in your world and that you caravan still has all of it's wheel's :)).

Always abstaining and maintaining just as you said !

Love and best wishes ..........................Alan

Good morning dear diary,

752 days today of my rollercoaster recovery journey.

How do I feel today at this time in my recovery, I actually feel pretty good, acceptance, mindset are playing a big part in my journey now,

Yes there is a lot going on but that is life, -Aunt still in hospital, problems with kids and grandkids (eldest wants now to live up here with us) causing quite a few issues as one can imagine, but it looks st this time that she will be living with her Dad up here, and ofcourse will be staying with me, half half I think, but it is going to cause a big upset for her Mum, this stuff has been going on for 6 months now, at the end of the day, we must out her well being first, else she may get issues when she gets older.

We are now the proud owners of a static caravan, OH is soo happy at this time, me too we are like a couple of kids waiting to go down again this weekend:)) taking the 2 LM with us, aged 4 and 7, will be hectic:))) and other son coming up from Essex with his LM aged 4 so 3 LM and one BM for 2 days will be hectic to say the least, haven't even got up together yet, but what the heck, this is what life is about, living each day as it comes, even our every day life is not a routine every day, changes can and do happen all the time, and with no gambling fog, or guilt swimming round in my head st this time, I am enjoying my hectic life:)))

House not sold yet, but hey ho, but I know it Wiil be,and that is not a priority now as we have our retreat:))

It's taken 2 years for my mindset to take a big turn around, but dare I say I do believe it has now,

I don't feel guilty as much now, I don't feel self hating myself now, I actually feel pretty good inside, and I am now feeling positive about the future (one day at a time ofcourse lol)

I am fully aware that my thoughts can change, but even with stressful times, I don't have that horrible addiction pushing through, my mind is too full of what is really happening, (so Mr G doesn't stand a chance if that makes sense)

It's taken just over 2 years to get to this stage in my recovery, the first year was very hard, dealing with all my different emotions, shame, self hate, hurting my OH, coming to terms with how, why and what gambling made us hurts deeply but I had to face all this along side with this addiction, it was the only way to move forwards.

I have moved forwards, I still keep my triangle broken, no problem, recovery is not part of my life, it is still the priority of my life, and

always will be so I can keep my well being safe and sound.

Reaching 2 years felt sooo very different to reaching 1 year, and every painful step has sure been worth it, anything and everything has got to be worth it to get our life back on track, and for living each day as it should be lived and that simply is in the real world.

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and happy gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

thanks Suzanne. Enjoyed reading your progress 🙂

Hi Suzanne , thanks for sharing that , It's great to see how staying gamble free makes life much better everyday we choose to say no and to see you reaping the rewards :)) .

Best wishes Alan x

Thank you for posting the above Suzanne. It brightened my day x

Hey thanks tri, pops, and B, and not forgetting coo coos lovely txt, you have all made my smile brighter today.

Suzanne xxxx

Great post again I really look forward to reading them when they come along even when times are tough.

On to the important stuff is the caravan available the 2nd week in August?!!