Logging Progress

Start again. What's wrong with me. Ffs this is ridiculous. Lost thousands thinking I could have a small bet. Won it all back and then blew the lot in 30 mins. So weak. The trigger was falling out with girlfriend and thinking I need a buzz to cheer me up. COME ON GET A GRIP. YOU CAN DO IT!

Ok got through Day 1. Not much but it's a start. Not really a testing day. Out and about tomorrow which is more of a challenge so debit card will be left at home. Determined to stop. This has to be it. It has to be. Short term target is 1 week (again!)

I WILL NOT GAMBLE

Day 2 done. Need to be careful tomorrow as it's payday. It's easy now though to stop. The pain is raw. The losses big and recent. But what about in 7, 24 or 21 days time when I feel invincible again and that I can turn £300 into £3000. I need to remind myself that I would never stop even if I won. Not taking the debit card out today was a big help. Need to get rid of pay day money as soon as possible. Having access to funds is a disaster waiting to happen. I can do this.

Coming to the end of day 5 and no gambling for me. Haven't really had the opportunity though as have been spending quality time with my young children. Would have done that in the days of gambling to be fair so can't really claim that stopping gambling has changed my family life in a positive way. However 5 days feels good. Wish it was more.

Remember a negative or bad run is inevitable for a CG. You may win temporarily but that session where your number doesn't come in for 20 spins or the bonus only gives you a tenth of what you were expecting is just around the corner. It will happen and you will crash and burn. Don't let yourself get in that position. Don't gamble.

1 week down. Really annoyed with myself today. I was at a shopping centre and had dropped the children off at an activity centre and my brain started saying to me to go and have a gamble. I had 4 hours to spare and it almost felt routine to go and fill that time gambling. Fortunately there was no bookies in the shopping centre but it wouldn't have been too difficult to find one. Proud that I spent the time window shopping but really annoyed that the thoughts to go and do it came back so easily. Didn't feel like an urge as I said it felt routine like my brain was telling me it was the normal thing to do. Not sure how to deal with that but hope it subsides over time. Target 2 weeks.

it's natural to have thoughts of gambling occasionally but surely you didn't and this has to be the greatest boost Dogears. Don't dwell on the fact you had thoughts but be proud you didn't!

If I get to the end of the day then it's 11 days for me. Wake up with dread every morning thinking that today will be the day that people I love will find out. I can't put my family through that again. My parents are concerned that I appear unhappy. I just had to lie and say that everything was ok. That makes me feel awful that I can't tell them the truth.

On a positive note, a couple of days ago I had the time to gamble since I had a some hours spare but decided to go for a coffee instead. Wish the thoughts of gambling didn't pop into my head though. It's a real battle trying to resist.

2 weeks down. Bring it on. Still need to find something else to replace the buzz. But the blockers are in place so happy about that. No urges to gamble but thinking about the industry often. It sickens me. I hate it. There is no pleasure that can be gained from it. 3 weeks here I come.

3 weeks down. Now beaten the previous gamble free stint. Target is now a full month. I'm whipping this addictions a$$. I would never win because I would never stop. I am committed to beating this addiction. Stay strong all .

Target reached and one month GF complete. Very happy but can't be complacent. In honesty I miss it as I have yet to find a replacement for the buzz. I will not gamble though because me thinking I could gamble a small £50 would lead to thousands of losses. Just the way I'm built I guess. I can't win because I can't stop. My next target is 50 days.

All the best.

Day 36 - Got urges on Monday but didn't buckle. Also wanted a cigarette (gave up around the same time). Trigger was dropping the children off with their mother and realising how depressing that is. I won't see them for 2 weeks. Just wanted a quick lift. But I know deep down that the lift is temporary and the pain and damage is longer term. Happy I didn't gamble but just wish I was normal.

Hi

I have decided to take action and joined today as i feel i am the only one here with a problem. Finally excepting i just cannot control this on my own . Has anyone got any advice for me . I have lost everything my house in debt now in rented house . Lost my partner 6 weeks before we were due to get married , Messing my daughter of 19 around which is having a huge impact on her security. I cannot believe what i am doing done . Had everything now nothing. Feel worthless and frustrated as i seem to binge on the online slots . Completely doing my head in why why why am i doing this. My answer is i am trying to chase my losses ! I get it in my head i will have some luck this time but i keep losing. Daft i know. I have to stop any ideas will be greatly appreciated .

Hi Wardie53. Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I haven't been on here for a while. Here are my top tips. Put up as many barriers as possible. Accept the money is gone. Realise that the odds are stacked in the bookies favour. Realise that even if you won you would just keep going until all your winnings were gone and then some. Speak to friends and family (I can't do this but I know it works for others). Identify the triggers that make you start gambling, it is unhappiness, boredom. Try to give yourself short targets - 1 day, 5 days, 2 weeks etc. Accept that it is a battle, it is not easy fighting it but something you have to put a lot of effort into it. Attend counselling or GA. A gamble free life can be achieved and believe me it is difficult but the best things in life don't come easy. Be strong and I wish you well.

I haven't gambled for 44 days! Yay. I do miss it if I'm honest but I realise now that only pain will come of it. Today I may win £300 but tomorrow I will lose £400. That's the way the games are designed. Play long enough and sooner or later you will hit a losing streak and it will blow you away.

69 days in. My favourite number. Over two months GF so very pleased with that. Nearly buckled today. Really strong urges as moved into a new place, close to town and close to bookies. I think it was to fill a boredom gap. Mind all over the place. Got to be strong. Will double check I am self excluded tomorrow.