lost the plot..

Hi Diary

Just got home, been round a mates all evening, had a good chat, a few beers, watched the football and then watched that Avatar on dvd as he had a copy and i hadn't yet seen it..(Probably the only person in the uk who hadn't watched it...lol )...I enjoyed it, had a nice feel good factor to it, kinda relaxing..(made up for the football)..

So had a good night overall..

Thanks to everyone for your replies and support on my diary, its great to get feedback and support from people who understand exactly what i'm up against.

So many other people don't have a clue, most would think i'm nuts. Even my mate i saw tonight, he and his girlfriend know i have been gambling for years, they both gamble too now and again. But just talking to them about it, well they just don't seem to understand why i want/have to stop, they just don't get it and they know everything i've been through..

Nice people though.. guess they just ain't ready to make that change yet..

Anyway 2 weeks is upon me..actually 14 days sounds more impressive lol.. Am really enjoying my break, had a bit of a shop around yesterday trying to get another back wheel for my bike but i'm priced out at the moment, just ain't got enough money, its something i will look at again when more funds are availible, still have a few quid but i need it for food and electric.

Right well thats about it, another post at 3am in the morning lol..

Today is going to be another good day.

Today i'm doing absolutely nothing and that includes No Gambling.

Keep strong all

Takecare

Hi Lb.. glad you had an enjoyable social evening and well done on your 14 days gamble free. Keep going ODAAT.. S.A

Hi Londonbloke,

Thanks again for stopping by my diary mate. I am really grateful for your kind words and support.

Sounds like a quality evening you had mate. Good for you. That Avatar is a quality film isn't it. I saw it in the IMAX cinema in 3D - amazing!

Never be afraid to post anything on here at all Londonbloke - no matter how mad you think it sounds. I recently have been posting that I have been having dreams about my addiction. The more you write down here the better. You would be surprised how common all our thoughts etc are on here mate.

I find it strange too that other people don't understand our addiction as well. People say "Why don't you just stop" or "just don't do it again" but this is such an evil addiction - it is truly the most evil thing I have ever dealt with in my life. That is why I am so delighted I discovered this website - it has helped me so much I don't know where to start mate.

14 days is massive mate. I am on day 80 now but I can tell you - I was probably more proud of day 14 than I was of 80 to be honest.

Keep up the great work Londonbloke - you are coming along very nicely. Keep posting on here and take it One Day At A Time and together we will beat this thing forever.

Take care,

Micky D

Well done on 14 days LB, you're right behind me as I've just past 16 days, I know you'll keep it up now.

Glad you had a good evening, sounds like you've had a good break from work, I'm not off until Christmas and not paid until a week Tuesday so funds are getting a little tight now. Nevertheless I have few £ for tomorrow night and the weekend, though not a lot!!

Well done again

Simon

Hi Diary

Another day passed and another gamblefree day to chalk up..

Didn't really do anything yesterday, got a bit bored to be honest, just pottered around the flat and watched loads of TV.

Even said to myself "not long now, back to work Monday" lol .. Crazy really cos when i'm working i want some time off, and after 5 days or so off i want to get back to work...

Anyway out most of the day tomorrow, got a few things planned so they will keep me busy.

ODAAT

Thanks S.A, micky and simon for your support..

Keep strong ...

Hi Lb.. thanks for your support.

I totally relate to your latest thoughts. I think am getting a bit paranoid not working.. to much time to think and get bored like you say.

But I remain focussed on the not gambling.. one day at a time. Enjoy your day.. S.A 🙂

Hey LB,

I still remember a few weeks ago when you were at rock bottom that day in Brighton.

Now I really do look forward to your postings as they are always really positive.

Even the days when you laze about - there's nothing wrong with that.

You should feel really proud with yourself having gone through a whole week off from work without getting sucked back into the gambling world. Those weeks are usually the most difficult for me but you have passed with flying colours!

Have a great gamble-free weekend and please keep making the right choices.

Getting There

Hi

Bit P****** tonight, considering i didn't buy a round ..lol ain't done too bad..

( guess they will soon b calling me freeloader)...lol

Had a really good night, really have.. gambling seems oh so far away from where i am now..this is how things are supposeed to be..

Gonna beat this ..yes i will and i am, and it feels b***** great.. ..

Day 16 today...

Througfh qwhat you want at me..i'm ready

Odaat.... bring it on.. sheilds up, me against 1000's ...

NEver give up..Never... nite

Hi londonbloke, a post at three in the morning.....I thought the worst....but you proved me wrong! Well done fella, great work. The thought of a booze up until 3am sends shivers down my spine. The kids are up by 6.30am...that would be a 3 hour kip. Enjoy your lie in. All the best russ

Hi LondonBloke,

Welcome to the forum, I too myself have started a diary after reading through some of others on the site, pretty inspiring to be honest! I have spent the last hour reading yours and I must say youre doing excellent especially if you look at the position you were in at the start! Awesome!!! (Go back to your first post and read it through everytime you get the urge to gamble, that sould definitely do the trick and will help!)

All I can say is keep up the good work, It's hard to admit for anyone that they have a problem, and with gambling its only yourself that has to admit it and we have done that, thats the hardest part out the way!

Keep Strong and keep it up mate... Oh... and hope the hangover is not that bad!

Pete

Looks like you had a good night LB! Hope you're having a good weekend. You did really well not being tempted during your week off.

Hope you're ok

Simon

Too right, LB...

Never, NEVER, EVER give up!

We are all in this fight against those evil gambling urges and it's gonna be a long haul.

But we will all WIN!

Have a great week back at work.

GT

Well done LB, you're doing great!

Glad you had a good week

Simon

Hi Diary

Thanks Russ, sparky, Simon and GT for your support..

Well my week off has flown by and its back to work tomorrow afternoon.

Am pleased to say that this has been the first "holiday" for god knows how long that i have not lost a penny. All that time on my hands and not a gamble, yep i did have a few urges here and there and must admit haven't had a lot of money but made it through the week... So its another milestone for me to chalk up..

Wasn't going to mention this but this week i will get paid again. I paid out all i had too last month, all the direct debits went out as planned and i even settled 1 or 2 little debts too and that was after losing a few days pay due to my absence from work the month before so should have a few quid extra to live on this time around..

Its unreal how we learn to survive on 30/40 quid for the whole month and even get used to it because we have ended up doing it time and time again..When i've been gambling, 500 quid is nothing, but 20 quid in my hand without gambling, well thats everything ..crazy stuff, really is..

Progress is being made, albeit very slowly, but as these bills begin to get paid off (should finish paying off two others in full in Jan and the backpay on my rent should be cleared that month too) i will have a little more to repay the banks, overdrafts/ loans etc..But 1 step at a time...

So day 18 today for me.. A new week begins, fresh start back at work, one thing though will stay the same..

Today i will not gamble..

Have a great week everyone, keep strong, we will all beat this..

Takecare.

ps.. fantastic to read on many many diaries of various people doing so well..Lets keep it going..

LB,

You real test is this week. Be prepared for it. It's one thing not gambling when there's no funds. It's another when you can access money.

Good luck. Be strong. One day at a time.... that's all you have to do.

Brian