lost the plot..

Hi London I hear you loud and clear in regards to not trusting ones self with money. A few quid spare can sound disaster - a grand in the bank can spell absolutle hell as I have learned the past 24 hours. Keep going - those bills eventually will get paid you know that. Keep at em!!! Thanks also for supporting me with your message on my diary in what was / is my lowest point so far of 2010. Onwards one day at a time. Best of thoughts to you Blocked.

Hey Londonbloke

I knew you were a good man. You read blocked post and thought i know exactly how he feels and im going to help him.

Its true you have been through the same lately and are pulling yourself together again,im sure blocked will too.I have great admiration for people who dont just cave in under pressureYourself, 28 black and blocked to name a few.Anyone can try and fail but it takes a really strong person to keep getting up after a fall and eventually prevail.You will.All the best Jeff.

Hi Londonbloke,it's been a few days since you have posted,i (and others) are wondering how you are doing?,hope all is well and you are managing to get through the month ok.let us all know mate.

All the best,

Seano,.

Hey LB

Like a few others on here, I am just seeing how things are. When people stop posting we tend to assume the worst. Hope that is not the case and that we hear from you soon.

G

Hey Londonbloke,

How are you? .. must admit haven't been posting much myself recently either.. tonnes of people I want to write to.. but instead have been wrestling with my own demons within. Write an update when you feel ready.. even if gambling has taken a hold. All the best.. S.A 🙂

Londonbloke

Hoping to be updated soon kid. Let us all know how you are.All the best Jeff.

Hello

Its been a while since i last posted, i only got my phoneline re-conected yesterday as i got cut off on the 15th Feb for unpaid bills dating back to Nov 09.

Was expecting it to happen, surprised really that it didn't happen sooner but got it sorted on the 1st, paid the lot off in full, so i'm back up and running.

Am pleased to say i have finally managed to get past a payday (25th) without blowing a single penny.

All i've done these past 3 weeks is work, work and more work. 3 people off sick at the mo so i've being lucky enough to get the overtime. I've only had 2 days off since the 12th feb, the rest of the time i've been working and that extra money has really helped me get back on track with quite a few urgent bills. Its also helped me fill that void that i find myself left with without gambling.

I'm pretty much skint again now a week or so later but this time it all went on paying installments to some of the many people that have been on my case requesting payment. So that can only be a good thing. Am also in line to clock up 3 more days overtime from now till the 20th of this month so will have a fair bit extra to look forward too come payday again on the 25th.

Its hard b***** work and sometimes i'm tired as hell but i'm thinking just get it while you can, also i'm off for 10 days from the 20th of this month, holiday from last year that i will lose if i don't use up. So in just over 2 weeks i can relax and recharge me batteries so to speak.

Thank-You ANL, seanostars, BlockedOut, Jeff, 28black and S.A for your posts on my diary i hope over the coming week to catch up with all your diaries and the many others on here.

I didn't get home from work till 1.30am and i'm in danger of falling asleep on the keyboard as i'm knackered. Am working again tomorrow but not till 4pm so i'm gonna wrap this up and get some well deserved sleep.

Best Wishes to everyone.

Takecare...

londonbloke. .your going for some well deserved sleep well im gonna give you some WELL DESERVED PRAISE. . Congratulations for the continued abstinence mate. . You maybe working hard but least its keeping your mind occupied and avoiding them demons so that has to be positive in itself. . Im similar to yourself with creditors mate but its nice to know that when pay day comes along i have nt gambled it and its slowly eating away at the huge debt i have. . . Well done mate and best wishes in your recovery. . Long may it continue. .

Hello Londonbloke,

Good to hear that all is well and gambling free and you have put in the effort to get yourself back on a stable footing. I remember only to well how hard it can feel to claw oneself back from crisis. Well done.

Now is the time to maintain focus and resolve and have some idea of how you are going to spend your time when you have your leave. I have the same dilemmas really. I have some time off in a couple of weeks. I need to make sure i do some constructive things as well as rest and potter about. The gambling head likes it when we may feel a bit aimless with not much to do.. especially after a long period when its just been work, work, work. Anyway all the best, maybe check out a Ga meeting.. cheers.. S.A 🙂

Hi londonbloke.

I'm delighted to read that you got through payday this month without squandering a single penny. Brilliant.

I must admit your previous postings after paydays in December and January were really painful reading. I'm so glad that you have proven to yourself that you can use your hard earned money in the right way. Ok you may just be using it to service debt at the moment but that is a great deal better than adding to your debts.

Keep this up londonbloke and stay positive. You can beat this. You really can.

Hey!!,i'm really chuffed LB,well done,you must be very happy(well as happy as we can be when moneys tight).

Seano.

Hi

Early morning here and although i'm exhausted, i just cannot get off to sleep, ain't slept at all/ not a wink.

Have nights like this now and again, almost all of them related to gambling. Sometimes my heads full of "ifs" and "whys", but i never get any real answers no matter how much i think/worry about it.

Many thanks wp, S.A, Curly10 and seano for your replies, am way behind everyones diaries but hope to catch up soon, but until i do i hope you are all keeping well and making progress in your own recoveries.

Takecare

Hi LB,

Glad to see you are finally getting on top of things,well it appears that way with your recent posts,i really hope you are.

I,ve been looking for answers for the last 4+ years with "ifs" and "why" theory and to be honest i,ve not really found them or more accurately i,ve not found the answers that appeal to my mind.

Worry is the biggest thing that holds me back,i cannot get worry out of my head,its a major battle but i,ve obviously got to find the answer to it somehow and i will,just dont know when.

I hope you can see how far you,ve come over recent months,certainly from when i replied to an emotional post you had made about the lack of finances and people chasing you for money.

We need to keep those memories on the back burner in our heads,ready to spring into defense mode should we consider going on a spree,they help defeat the madness.

If your doing what it looks like your doing,then great your getting somewhere,as i said in that early post,money worries are a real headache but if we dont gamble at the VERY VERY least we will not add to them.

All the best,

"" A NEW LIFE ""

Hi LB,

Wow! What an emotional and honest story. A lot of your inner turmoil I can relate to and I honestly hope that you can beat those demons....after all, that's why we're all here.

I will be following your progress and rooting for you mate.

Stay strong.

Hi

Just popped in to post a quick update, and to say thanks ANL and Grippa for your comments.

I'm still gamble free so i'm happy about that.

Am working all the hours i can possible work at the mo to help clear up this huge financial mess that i've left myself with. But as each day passes i slowly edge another step closer to my goal of being debt free..

Should have a better time of it come payday on the 25th of this month as i've done so much overtime that i should be able to cover all my outgoing bill repayments and then have a couple of 100 to get me through again till the next one..

After living on so very little for so long its going to feel nice to be able to go into a supermarket and not have to look only for the yellow stickers. God i was spinning machines on 20 or even sometimes 40 quid a play yet the past 6 weeks i've been looking to save 20p on a pasty or a loaf of bread...COMPLETE MADNESS.

(I'm sure many of us have been down this road and done the same).

Am working all week, my own shifts just worked the weekend (more overtime) so theres no let up just yet, but roll on the 20th when i have some holiday time off.

Payday during that time as well so it will be a big test for me. A chance to see how far i've really come.

Once again apologies as i still haven't caught up with any other diaries yet.

Off to bed am exhausted (didn't get home from work till 1.40am).

Takecare All, best wishes and keep strong