Mr Grumpy: Round 3 and a half

hi jon, thanks for the post, pleased to see your still going strong, im also a utd fan, bad times! all the best mate keep up the good work

Day 25: No thoughts, No Gambling, No Money !!

Still waiting to get paid for last month... and just found out it sould be there on Monday or Tuesday... So I am taking this opportunity to practice at being really really skint, instead of just the normal skint I will be when I get paid ( having to pay off debts).

So it's Blackpool in the playoffs tonight, hope they can do it.

A little "Old Mother Hubbard"ish at the moment, so it's looking like Beans on toast again for tea.. maybe treat myself to an egg on top. I do find, though, when you are really hungry, beans on toast is really good.

All my worries about payday are gone.. maybe this is the answer... just don't get paid.

Hope everybody remains strong in their journey towards happiness.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS.

Jon

Hiya Jonb2412

Just popping in to say thank you for posting on my thread.....

I realised I had made a mistake due to not reading something properly...

I saw a post from you on the supporters side on the thread "help" which I thought was yours...

I thought you were the brother of a gambler but then have just realised you were responding to the chap that started the thread called Andy.

Hope that all makes sense ...so when I saw your post on Ask and site probabation etc I figured you were brand new to supporters.Only just seen your diary recently and didn't realise you had been around a while...

I thought your idea is a good one and also appreciate what you mean about fb and honesty....at least on here there is no judgement as we are all coming from the same place.

take care Jonathan....will keep reading...and remember to wear my specs!

Rachel and Dotty xxx

Older chests reveal themselves

Like a *** in a wall

Starting small, and grow in time

And we all seem to need the help

Of someone else

To mend that shelf

of too many books

Read me your favourite line

Papa went to other lands

And he found someone who understands

The ticking, and the western man's need to cry

He came back the other day, yeah you know

Some things in life may change

And some things

They stay the same

Like time, there's always time

On my mind

So pass me by, I'll be fine

Just give me time

Older gents sit on the fence

With their cap in hand

Looking grand

They watch their city change

Children scream, or so it seems,

Louder than before

Out of doors, into stores with bigger names

Mama tried to wash their faces

But these kids they lost their graces

And daddy lost at the races too many times

She broke down the other day, yeah you know

Some things in life may change

And some things they stay the same

Like time, time, there's always time

On my mind

So pass me by, I'll be fine

Just give me time,

Time, there's always time

On my mind

Pass me by, I'll be fine

Just give me time

Hi thanks for the post Jon with or without!!! Hope that you have a good weekend and keep the positive thinking going, we can beat these machines, just think if we all stopped playing how many people would be out of work, so many places would have to close down, but I guess that will never happen as people will always gamble. TC hope you doing good,

Wanted to thank you again for your post on my diary. I see lots of people saying that, you must offer people a lot of support. 🙂

Hope you're doing ok. Stay strong.

4 Weeks: A close shave

Well, last night I had a drink, played bridge, read on here, drank some more, played more bridge, went to bed... half an hour later I was up and trying to gamble!! I say trying to because I never suceeded.

The idea came in my head to uninstall K9, payday loan, and gamble. Payday loan was only for a few days as my pay has been messed up this month.. ie should have been paid on the 30th April... not getting paid till Tuesday.

I tried to uninstall K9... and thank god.. I couldn't. Having got my daughter to install it using an email address I don't know and a password I don't know... I simply couldn't, as it required the password to uninstall.

I feel relieved this morning, but as so many posts on here say, it is so easy to slip when the defenses are down. Also it cannot be stressed enough... get those blocks in place on your computers.

BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK and BLOCK again !!

So this morning I am probably £500 better off than I would have been had I suceeded. I feel a little disappointed in myself, but maybe "The slip that never happened" is a good thing... a wake up call for me to be a little more careful, especially if having a drink. And the red alert is on for me over the next few days. FOCUS.

I have had a drink before in the last 4 weeks with no problem. I think I had a little more than usual last night, and there was certainly a tipping point... a point at which I could hear myself saying.. "w*f... Does it really matter?" Well today it does!!

On a lighter note... it's 4 weeks. Tomorrow is a big big day... football wise... should be an exciting afternoon... as long as city don't go 3 up in the first 10 minutes. Good scrap at the bottom of the table too.

So:

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS.

and breathe.

Jon

TODAY....... at last... I CAN save something towards my future happiness....... I have been paid... only 16 days late! But better late than never.

This delay has probably helped... was worried about what I might do on payday... 2 weeks ago.. now 2 weeks on, not feeling as jittery and a little more focused about paying debts... although I still have a few phone calls to answer to yet.. but at least my bills can be paid.

Other than that ... nothing much to record.

Still need to get a life outside of work and home... keep putting off visiting people... always feeling too tired after work to go for that walk I keep thinking about... watching too much tv to finish the book I am on at the moment: (Any other Terry Pratchett fans out there?)

It's food time.... should I beans on toast it... or beef strogonoff it... ? Looking like something simple.. might save the strog idea for weekend... with a little wine.

Hope all is ok with the rest of you and that you are growing stronger and/or wiser by the day. Think I am over a month now..... 31 days... so a small milestone there.

TODAY I CHOOSE TO SAVE MY MONEY FOR MY FUTURE HAPPINESS.

Jon

Hi Jon,

Thanks for the post. Nice to know I am not alone. Glad to see you got your wages. Get those bills paid!

We are each others audience.

Thanks again mate. Take care.

IanB.

Hi there Jon with or without, I am so pleased that you didn't manage to gamble the other night when you were a bit worse of the ware, just think you would be back to day 2 now and not a month!!! Like you say we can never drop our guard and after a few drinks we do tend to have more courage and think we can do things that maybe we can't, thats the cause of so many people getting banned from driving. Take care, onward and upward! Here's to the next month gamble free.

Hi Jon,

Just read your diary and your doing fantastic, that’s what this site is about helping yourself through helping others, and you’re certainly putting the time in to help others, you should feel proud of yourself and I sincerely mean it. With determination and honesty you will beat this.

I can empathise with your problems, online roulette was my thing and its only because of the blocks I had in place that I wasn’t gambling online this time, once you start its very hard to stop. Your blocks have served you well so far keep them there! Your description of your near slip really hit home and reminded me about my last diary that’s exactly how it ended, payday loan then online roulette, back to square one. I don’t want you to do this because I too posted that I wanted to get a payday loan and gamble only I never had the strength or want at the time to resist, I’m glad the blocks gave you time to consider your decision but the urges will be back so be prepared.

You mention the government in your opening post, your right they don’t protect the vulnerable in fact they seem to be encouraging the gambling industry to target the vulnerable, have you seen that they are going to tax FOBT it will earn them millions if not billions over a period of time, with this tax will probably come an even slacker regulated industry, what I’m trying to say is that we can only look after ourselves because the people who are taking our money are not going to help us.

A lot of doom and gloom in my post on your diary, sorry about that! I’m going to leave you with some happy stuff now, I have been posting on this site for around three years and been reading it for around six I have seen hundreds if not more people fail and only a handful succeed, the people who succeeded put the time and effort in and help other people like you are doing.

No food time update today ?!?!

Hi Jon,

Hope you got those bills paid up mate!

As for the football I am not a Hammers fan although I do have a soft spot for them. Shouldn't really 'cos my big sis lives just outside Blackpool and I enjoy my visits.

Anyway regarding the rock music Rush have announce an arena tour for next year. May 2013. Tickets go on sale tomorrow for Sheffield and Manchester. I will be getting one and may have to go on my own 'cos a lack of die hard rockers who I know at the moment. Lost touch with a lot of old friends. So you never know maybe we can meet up before the show! Just 'cos yr a Man U fan doesn't make you a bad guy, just disillusioned that's all lol.

Take care mate,

Ian.

Take care

Hey Jon with our without, thanks so much for your advice on my diary, I am home now and safe and made it through the w end.

Are you OK? No posts on while I have been away, hope that things are going well with you, maybe you are just real busy having a good time. Take care, look forward to your next post to see how you are doing, and even if you have had a slip, some back and share it, we all have slip ups,

Thanks Juliette for your concern... but I am ok.

Day 35 over and done, no major thoughts, just a few niggles.

Went out last night for a drink with a mate of mine... and told him about my problem. He was very understanding. Felt good to get it off my chest.

Other than that.. all cool and froody.

Up early so bedtime.. to watch some "Criminal Minds"... slowly running out of series to watch.

Jon

Glad to hear that you were able to get your worries off your chest and that your friend was very understanding.

This must have made you feel much better.

NT