Well, where to being, im 27 female, currently addicted to roulette! got into lots of debt, this year has been the worst year ever so far with gambling! anyway...had a big win (worst thing that could of happened to be honest) paid back all the debt and had some left over, not a great deal, but my account "was" looking healthy, my debt was originally in double figures.
After that big win, i thought oh this is alright, if i could do that again, i would be able to keep all the money, as i'll have no debts to pay.
Fast forward a few months and i now have debt of 2 grand again, why why why.
I'm now ready to stop for real, i cant go on like this, my bank statement is full of gambling transactions is sickening.
No one knows about my gambling problem, im scared to tell my partner, as im guessing he would look at me as being pathetic.
While my debt in realatively low, i can afford to pay this back by getting some over time in at work, but if i don't stop now, god knows where i will end up!
I've just applied for a new bank account, as i no longer want to see all those gambling transactions, i want a fresh start. Had my last bet last night, so today is my day one of being gamble free, today i will not gamble.
I never had a problem when ive gambled on things like football, bingo, but roulette, well thats well and truely taken over my life! I'll even sit here watching it when i can't play, then my number comes up and im like, oh man, i would of had x amount of pounds on that! (yes thats how bad its got)
Its purely online roulette im hooked on, i don't go to bookies or casino's, when ive got cash im very careful, but depositing online i just go into some sort of trance, keep depositing until it's all gone.
Any wise words to help me through this would be very much appreciated.
Anyone else been / are hooked on roulette??
Cheers for reading.
Above was my first post, below is my 2nd post, i wanted to join in the recovery diary section, so ive re-posted here, and everyday i will try to check in and let you know how im getting on.
Thanks for the replies 🙂
So far so good but already ive got some alone time, im on the laptop and whats the only thing im thinking about and can't seem to get out of my head right now, you guessed it....roulette!
I could find a new site, get rid of that 2 grand of debt? yeah thats what im thinking, but i sure as hell know that wouldn't happen, and i'd end up in even more debt! so i need to let this urge pass, find something to do to take my mind off it.
Thought i'd post on here, as im sure im going to be getting these feelings alot for the time being, all i can keep thinking about are those losses.
My emotions are feeling all over the place today, it's like ive gone cold turkey, and have to get it in my head that i can never gamble again because i have no self control.
How can a stupid game where the house is always going to win in the end, play such a big part in my life.
By the time my partner gets home, i need to put on the fake smiles, tell him ive had a good day, while deep down im hurting so much inside, if only he knew.
I WILL NOT gamble today.
Will check in again tomorrow 🙂
Ok, make that 3k of debt now, another grand blown in no time at all, you guessed it i didn't refrain from gambling, not even managed a whole day, what a joke i am.
Oh well, really not sure what else to say, so for now i'll leave it at that.
Another new day today, feeling a little more determined today, i will get through this!
Lets call today: DAY 1
We all have to start somewhere, Tuesday 5th of August 2014 The day i stopped gambling!!
Hi mylife
Online roulette was my downfall as well. Like you I could do bingo, horse/football betting with no probs but for some reason roulette just got me hooked.
I have got myself into loads of debt twice now because of this stupid game. The first time I admitted everything to my oh (I had to because I couldn't afford the debt I had got into by myself), he was obviously angry at first but to my surprise he didn't leave me and actually sorted out my finances for me. I swore then I would never be so stupid again.
Fast forward a year later and here I am done it all again. I have told my oh about the debt I am in and things are still not sorted out with us (it's only been a week) but I am hopeful that we will get there.
I don't have much advice to give you as I am only on day 7 of my recovery, but if I could say one thing it would be to stop before your debt does get out of control and like me you have no other choice but to tell your partner. This time, I have self excluded myself from all the sites I used for gambling and that is definitely helping me to abstain. As a lot of ppl on here advise, it is best to put as many blocks in place as you can, sometimes willpower alone is not enough, especially if you are chasing losses.
Stay strong and keep posting/reading - this forum is really helping me to keep focused, I know how easy it is to slip back into gambling and am determined not to let this ruin my life anymore.
Best wishes
Tee jay x
Hi Tee Jay,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post, It's good to know there are other people out there that do understand.
I've sat down this morning and gone through all my finances, set up a standing order for 20 months and that should be the debt repaid. By spreading it out over the 20 months i can still afford to live comfortably.
Feeling so much more positive today than i was yesterday, that blip last night seemed to help, as mad as it sounds, i can't explain in words how i feel, but its like, now i just cant be bothered with the game, if this feeling stays with me, then things should go well, but no doubt i'll get the urges to go back, but im sure going to try and make today the first day of the rest of my life being gamble free.
Hope we can do this together Tee Jay, Good luck to you, i'll be following you if you have your own recovery diary.
Hi mylife
Yes we can do this together - I agree with you it's nice to know there are others out there who understand, so you don't feel so alone.
Stay strong
Tee jay x
Here i am again, same old pathetic me, ive gone and done it again, I just cant seem to stop doing this to myself, the more i want to stop the more i go and find ways of gambling again, what the hell is wrong with me!
I have a great family, loving partner, i should be happy with my life, so why do i keep ruining it?
I don't think i'll ever stop, ill just keep getting deeper and deeper, I feel like such a waste of space at the moment. Soon all i will be working for is to repay gambling debts.
Im sure im wired up wrong somewhere along the lines, try again tomorrow eh? Got no choice now anyway, will have to, i've got nothing left to gamble with anymore. It's going to be a long month with no money.
Sorry for the let down of a post 🙁
Hi my life
Please don't be so hard on yourself, this addiction is strong and you have to put as many blocks in place so that when that urge to gamble comes you have no way of doing it. This is not all about determination and willpower, believe me I have tried to do it that way myself, but when you least expect it, it will creep back up on you again.
I have done self exclusion this time and think that will work for me this time because even if I did get the urge to gamble I cannot get on these sites anyway, but others on this forum would also advise things like giving your cards to someone you trust so you can't use them or talk to your bank to see if they can put a stop on any gambling debits coming from your account or taking all money not needed for direct debits out so you have no money to spend.
Also don't ever feel like you are letting ppl down on here because you gambled again, we have all been there and we are all here to support one another because we understand.
Stay strong and keep posting and think about putting those blocks in place.
Best wishes
Tee jay x
Hi, this is a hell of a disease I see lots of people come on here and get a couple days off. Thinking I have this, that is the trick of this disease it's never far away always waiting for it's chance. You really have to take this one day at a time and be grateful for each day as you never know when you will once again resume gambling. I know that sounds mad but I am 10 months off now but if my head had it's way I would gamble again in a second. However I fight it on daily basis and apart from the urges everything else in my life is good. Hopefully in time the urges will go altogether but till then it's one day at a time.
Hello
Please don't think that you are any worse than anybody else on here, I went 2 weeks without even the thought of gambling and within 10 minutes of getting some money in I was gambling again, thats why it is such an issue because its harmless in the eyes of many but to the majority who gamble its something that we just cannot seem to get control of. Try breaking your recovery down into stages, such as 6/12/24 hour blocks or even single hours if you need to. By saying that I will not gamble in the next 6 hours rather than the next 24, them blocks of 6 hours will eventually turn into days weeks and months of not gambling. Also use your diary as a place to express exactly how you're feeling, If you have an seemingly uncontrollable urge to gamble then come on here first and just write down exactly how you are feeling, viewing it in writing may help you decide wisely not to gamble and if you wait long enough someone will reply to your post giving you the necessary motivation not to give into the urge. I wish you all the best.
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