My recovery diary

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh im so agitated tonight ..ususlly worse in the evenings

Not only in gambling recovery also trying to sort out other things like even basic things right now 

Im screaming inside my head right now 

Lou x

Finding it a bit  frustrating when reading of people harming themselves via gambling over and over, although its made me realise ive not slipped back into it despite wanting to at times. 

I think i just know,  gamblings not gonna make anything better even if it feels it would be small relief.

I do still get urges but im trying to take action and get better. I have cbt in june more for relapse prevention as i know im at risk especially as i sometime feel like gambling so im trying to take action. Still struggling with mental health but im trying.

Lou x

GOOD LOU, sounds like youve turned a corner again, and the good news is thru that bad time u remained gamble free.  well done xxx

just imagine if u got to new years this year gamble free, a full year, wouldnt that be a huge achievement!!!! even if you dont get that far youve made some huge steps this year......We can sit in on new years on here and celebrate what a great year its been adamxxx

Thanks adam and im trying and making small changes even if they are minor. I suppose over the last year i have been back in work,on track with recovery. Just still ablong way to go

Lou x

Hi Lou,

I hope your okay, I've noticed in chat you are having quite a difficult week, sorry to hear this.

Always here with a pair of listening ears if you need to get anything of your chest or to vent.

Hugs x

im okay thankyou, just little stresses here and there, so just feeling stressed and i find it hard winding down. 

Thankyou for popping by secret hope your well 

Lou x 

There is nothing worse than stressing but glad your still gamble free after your near miss. We was all a little worried in chat last night when you popped in and left.

Roll on your therapy with your new therapist, hopefully it may help you cope with your stress and techniques to deal with it? 

Its because i decided chat wasnt the right place to be when i was feeling that stressed. So i decided to phone instead 

The gambling therapy in june will be hopefully helping with the gambling urges thoughts etc

The stress is coming from other other sources atm like work i dont have as good of a way of processing emotions as much as others may do..a big thing for me is actually small in comparison if someone was to look at it. Just builds up the stress untill i feel like im going to explode but im getting support elsewhere. 

I do also feel a bit hurt by something someone said to me today they was joking, but it kinda hit me but i didnt want them to think theyve upset me so i just left it. 

Loux

Todays just one of them days of having to accept how feel and just cope until tomorrow and hope tomorrow feels different 

Loux 

Trying to make little changes in my life here and there i cant do too much without getting too overwhelmed but i just feel like im not getting anywhere apart from staying gamble free.

Loux 

Seem to have spent the whole day crying ..feelings feel so intense (i have and know where to get support) im drained emotionally.

Im not gambling, but when you feel in so much pain it almost makes you feel like how could gambling even make you feel worse when you feel like you cannot possibly feel worse anyway.

230 days so i didnt need advice i just writing how i feel and not going to gamble right now.

Loux

I just wish that via Gamcare we could have a 1-2-1 online chat (messaging) because Lou, I would really like to try to get to the root of your issues.  For our mutual protection I would naturally expect a trained Gamcare facilitator to moderate.  I feel like, over the last few months, I've got to know you and really think we could make some progress to really help you get ahead.

Gamcare, I wonder if this is possible.  Opening up the Group Chat for a bespoke 1-2-1?

Hi RochG

Thanks for that suggestion , it sounds like it could be something to look into for the future. 

The Forum and daily chat rooms is good open space where users can support one another and you have been incredibly supportive to other members in these platforms,  which we all really appreciate. 

Thanks 

Kirk 

Forum Admin

Exhausted ended up doing an 11 and half hour shift yesterday without a break had a cider when i got home and fell asleep for a few hours. Off tomorrow works short part of me wants to help out but i know i cant over exert myself because i dont cope well. Also trying to support others especially the younger ones. 

Gutted i missed another day of sunshine i love sitting out in the sun but u dont have a garden here and feel unable to go out alone i have the day off so im just going to try and get a bit of rest and recharge. But hopefully next time i visit family the sun will be back

Lou xx