My recovery diary

Hey lous, sorry things are not feeling too good at the mo. Come on chat if you can and see if we can help xxx

Zero sleep despite taking my prescribed sleeping pills. Havent gambled but feel ill as if i have.

Got to go to work in couple of hours got 2 shifts left to get through..i nearly didnt go in the other day but then managed being in charge of shift you just have to get on with it and focus when there. Ill get through it fine,

but i know after ill be exhausted and struggle and if i dont sleep exhausted and down thats when the urges can creep back in.

Some sleep would have really helped 🙁 

Lou x

I wish there was some way you could get some more sleep Lou.  I know you're taking sleeping tablets but your brain isn't giving you a break. I just hope you get some peace of mind Lou. I really do. 

Great to see you in the peeraid chatroom this morning Lou.

You always brighten up the proceedings and I'm still giggling about the dog.

Wishing you a productive and contented weekend.

Aum x 

Hi Lou, and hope you're enjoying this Sunday. It's sunny and I hope you're getting some sun, even if it's just shining through a window.

I'm thinking of you and hope you're sailing steady today ?

Hi lou, just caught up with ur diary, hope you got some sleep and rest thru your week off (or if its now) hope to see you on chat somewhen.  You are managing soo well mate. all the best adam xx

Thankyou aĺl for visiting my diary

First couple days off havent gone well..ive felt so exhausted, little motivation to do anything physically even though in my head i wish i would just sort things. All self care has gone out of the window..even just things like not having any milk in fridge keep thinking ill go shop later and never do.

I decided this week off i was gonna care for myself and even tidy my flat. Last 2 days ive done nothing not even basic care. i hope i feel better tomorrow...as tonight i feel tearful,low and no energy. Ive even had the gambling thoughts come into my head a lot today ive refrained from acting on urges but they have been strong

I really was looking forward to this week off but im upset in myself :'(

Posted by: Lou x

Thankyou aĺl for visiting my diary

First couple days off havent gone well..ive felt so exhausted, little motivation to do anything physically even though in my head i wish i would just sort things. All self care has gone out of the window..even just things like not having any milk in fridge keep thinking ill go shop later and never do.

I decided this week off i was gonna care for myself and even tidy my flat. Last 2 days ive done nothing not even basic care. i hope i feel better tomorrow...as tonight i feel tearful,low and no energy. Ive even had the gambling thoughts come into my head a lot today ive refrained from acting on urges but they have been strong

I really was looking forward to this week off but im upset in myself :'(

Saddened to read that you are struggling dear friend. Hopefully you will soon feel better in yourself.

Some days you seem more optimistic. In my mind I see Lou as being a kind, compassionate, hard working lady with a zest for life, understanding and a fun sense of humour. 

You are, without doubt, a resilient soul with enormous potential to be happy and industrious.

Love, respect and best wishes.

From Stephen x 

Take care Lou, there are so many of us on here who really care about you xxx

There is a charming lady

A nurse of high repute

Healing is her calling

And she is very cute.

I met her on the diaries

Abstaining from a bet

Lou is on a mission

And we aint seen nothing yet.

Wishing you a weekend of contentment.

Aum ? x x x 

Thankyou for popping by Aum

Almost 5 months gamble free..

I cant describe how hard the last few days have been, but im trying to not let it break my recovery as i want my debt paid off this year.

Im feeling low but my antidepressants are being increased next week i really hope it helps.

Sometimes i really want to turn to gambling, but i try to keep my goal of paying of my debt in mind

Lou x

Hi Lou thanks for you kind words with all you got going on still find time to to think of me     
  I have got a ball so I will use it any thing to get better 

No problem scotty, and yes they have been known to help build some strength in arm. So worth a try.

Thankyou im just having a bit of a tough week but im 150 days gf tomorrow so at least im on the right track in that sense.

Lou x

150 days gamble free..

Been struggling with sleep and mood latetly..but chatting to others on here has helped ane feeling a bit brighter this afternoon.

Lou xx

The longer youve struggled, it feels like people give up on you and no longer care.